Ok, the om is gone, I've gone to Dr. H's seminar, I agreed to give concepts a try. But slow downnnnnnn, I need some time to absorb everything. Is that so terrible? H says he wants me to start now! Trust him now that he has chg'd, or "I'll be sorry". Thats demands in my book, control, no choices, do as I want, and I can't make him see that he is just making me withdraw all the more. I'm numb as can be. I need giving now not taking, but nope back to the same ole junk. All I can think of doing is run run run, as fast as I can. I know he wants reassurance but no matter how many times I say, I'll try, its not enough. He wants more! Any advice on what I can do to get h to back off and be a giver for once? He says he's doing all th giveing and I'm just taking????He says I "either embrace this plan or forget it". <BR>Also, now that were back home, doesn't the marriage builders contact us and help us get started? I mean we can't seem to get focused on how to start. We've got the books, info, now what?<P>Thanks again for patient feedback.By the way, U were right about the OM. As much as I wanted to stay, it wouldn't have worked for sure if I had continued with the infidelity. It's difficult enough as it is just getting off the ground with the program.

Bebarbe2:<P>Since you're using Harley's methods, may I suggest involving him further by a phone consultation with you and your H. The guidance would help, since you mentioned "you" went to the seminar but I don't see where H went. Will your H agree to talking to the Harleys on the phone? As part of the "let's get started right now" plan that he is pushing so hard?<P>Pats on the back for breaking off with the om. Now the hard part starts and will keep up for a long time. Your H doesn't get it that by pushing and giving ultimatums he is love busting, contrary to Harley principles.<P>Cyber hugs.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess