WS keeps buggin me to sign these "uncontested" divorce papers. We have 1 child together and he left his 11 yr old from a previous marriage he walked out on too. I am not ready or willing to sign or discuss divorce. i fill the ow (the 22 yr old tramp--my supposed friend) is pushing him to do it. he is definately thinking w/his lower half and escaping responsibility. his mom tells me that the OW puts him on a pedestal. oh brother. anyway, i want to drag this out..was wondering if any of you have done this successfully. ws tells me that he does not want reconciliation.

WS keeps buggin me to sign these "uncontested" divorce papers.
So??

Just say, “I don’t want a divorce” and leave it at that. You don’t need to go into long (or even short) explanations of why. Just tell him you still believe in the marriage vows.

anyway, i want to drag this out..was
Then don’t sign the papers. He can’t make you. He CAN file without your consent if he wants to. Don’t remind him of this. Of course he want is uncontested. It is to his advantage, meaning you agree to everything he has in the papers.

Kuljey, I feel ya! Truly I do! My H is doing the same thing to me about rushing me into signing the "no fault divorce" papers. I will tell you what the attorney I have talked to told me, DON'T SIGN unless you want to, unless everything in the papers is totally agreeable to you, and if you are certain that this is what YOU want. I don't know what state you are in, but here in MS. if I don't sign these lovely papers he has had drawn up, if he wants a divorce he is going to have to sue me for one, and guess what. I haven't done a thing that he could take me to court and get a divorce on!

Chris was right - when he asks if you have signed them, just tell him "No, I don't want a divorce." or tell him you don't want to sign the papers. You don't HAVE to give him a reason unless you want to.

Bottom line is - if he wants a divorce and you do not, he will not be able to have an "uncontested divorce". He will have to take you to court and sue you for a divorce.

Good luck!

Darth tried to beat me to my second divorce filing by 12 hours...He thought if he filed under "irrevokable breakdown" that I would just deal with that.

Wrong.The real grounds were as follows: adultery, cruel treatment (encompassing both mental and physical) and irrevokable breakdown. Within six hours, he received MY COUNTER FILING. I think this may be the way to go.

My stbxh is a serial cheater and will go to all lengths to cover up his sin from the rest of the world. If he wants a divorce, then sure...But I will blow the cover on his little life once and for all.

We cannot make anyone do anything. Nope. And I think you maybe should take the bull by the horns this time. What is stalling going to do anyway? Maybe seeing his own actions in writing will help a bit. BTW...I even named the tramp, Ms. Monkey ho and added this in the filing : is seeking a divorce on the grounds of adultery with Ms. Monkeyho AMONG OTHERS..." I say name her in it also.

What a contested divorce does is assign fault and that usually takes more time. I did not do it to drag it out. God knows I wanted this over six months ago. What it does in GA (a fault state) is show the truth. That is what I am fighting for along with a fair settlement.

I am also sorry for the childish behavior of your MIL. My MIL did the same. They just go along with it because they want to be around the grandkids. What my MIL and FIL didn't bargain for was my being a persistent cuss and being the primary guardian with possibility of being sole if the courts find out Darth's real behaviors and abuses against me. They now only see their grandchild on weekends and when they go to see Darth. So their taking sides did not accomplish anything except make me not like them and not want them around me. They knew whole story and still made excuses.

Blood is thicker than water. But you just be smart. You can't shock WS's into reality sometimes. I believe it takes only the power of God to do that. You have to let go of the control thing. You cannot control him. YOu can only control you, your children, and your reactions to his negative behaviors. remember that and you will make rational decisions.

I say, Sure honey. I want the divorce too, but let's face it..This situation is what it is...(fog talk) and I am ready to move on. I am sick of this whole immoral affair and personally it disgusts me. I don't like you the way you are now and I want out too. Let me know if you ever change b/c I love the man I married...Not this wacked out playboy who kinda looks like you. BTW...I don't find your divorce papers acceptable to the situation and do not believe our differences are irrevocable or irreconcilable. I believe this whole divorce is because of YOUR ADULTERY. So I am sorry, but I am going to sue you for divorce. On THE GROUNDS OF TRUTH. It is what it is and you made it that way. Then throw in something foggy like "I've got to go as I am getting a makeover...Boy. I needed a change really bad."...Fog him back.

I almost said those same exact words to Darth who was, as usual, stupified.

The fog is like the flu I have and am suffering from now, on my birthday. It has to run its course. But it could stay for years. That is why it's important to focus on you right now. Forget about him and mistress and the whole affair thing. Do a plan A for yourself. Not for him.

You IL's won't like when you counter file. But it is the truth. One day when your kids are older, they will find out if and when they want to why you got a divorce instead of hearing bull poo from their dad. Like they say in X files: The truth is out there...