Hello all,

As most of you guys know my ex has custody this month and I had to set boundaries on taking my son to his appointments while ex has them because the last appointment was a total nightmare. Ex not only cancelled their dental appointments unnecessarily but also put my children in the middle of our fight and lied to them about what truly occurred. So I told ex from now on when he has custody of the kids I will not make appointments or take the children to their doctors appointments, this will be up to him.

So, older son is going to a therapist once a week. This is important as he has a court date for taking a drug in school from another female student; so mentally it's important as well as getting the therapist to write a letter saying he is being treated by him and making progress. Ex asked me to take son this week, which amazed me after all the chaos over the dental appointments and I said no I don't feel comfortable doing that. I haven't said anything else about the appointment as I made it his responsibility. He called tonight and said, "I just wanted to let you know I got approved to take son to his appointment tomorrow but I wanted to talk to you to see if you could take him next week if I make the appointment."

My soft, mom side says, "Yes as along as son spends the night with me and I make the appointment and you stay out of that part ..."

My practical side says, "No, you have them this month, I will not take chances on hurting the children like last week and if he has to go one to two weeks of no therapy, although it will be damaging, I don't think it will be as damaging to son as the damage that could be done if chaos breaks out again."

Opinions please?

ANNA

P.S.

I just had another thought...perhaps I should call the psychologist and ask his opinion..keep boundary or take chance on appointment working this time...hmmm

Honesty, I would talk with the psychologist. Your son is in need of help, and divorce creates so much anger. I know, my kids are older, and they are all wishing to move and get out on their own. Oldst wished she was not born to this family.

If you take things in your hands, this may upset the outcome of the psychologists plan. Sounds like you are trying to do as he states, so I would talk to him and see what he suggests.

What do you feel is in the child's best interest? Not your best interest. Not the letter of the law as the decree is written. Not the thing you want to do.

What do you feel is in the child's best interest?