10 classic resume bloopers, culled from real-life resumes of job seekers from all levels, industries and career fields:

-Revolved customer problems and inquiries.

-Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.

-Dramatically increased exiting account base, achieving new company record.

-Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.

-Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.

-Participated in the foamation of a new telecommunications company.

-Promoted to district manger to oversee 37 retail storefronts.

-Experienced supervisor, defective with both rookies and seasoned professionals.

-I am seeking a salary commiserate with my training and experience.

-Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.

Yup, I stole these from some web-site. Enjoy them anyway

Hehheeeee. heheheheeeeee. Here's one about...
IDIOTS IN SERVICE --
This week, My phone went dead and I had
to contact the telephone repair people.
They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m.
and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give
me a smaller time window, the pleasant
gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call
you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see
how he would be able to do that, since our
phones weren't working. He also requested that
we report future outages by email. I asked him,
"Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?"
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card
purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed
my name on the back of the credit card. She informed
me that she could not complete the transaction unless
the card was signed. When I asked why! , she explained
that it was necessary to compare the signature
I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit
card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature
to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck
would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to
request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on
our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit
by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for
"minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in
your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I
replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?
" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine when she asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was
leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager
commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this
more! often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at
each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why
her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly
to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle
and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I
announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he
replied, "I know - I already got that side."

NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?