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#760280 11/05/03 04:24 PM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 77
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If you have read my profile it has not been very long since our divorce but we have been seperated since feb. The hole left in my chest where my heart used to be is still there. I come home to an empty house often and feel very lonely. She has not had to feel this because while she was still in our relationship she jumped into another one. I can tell when she is alone at home by herself because she tries to influence our daughter to hang around even if it is her time to be with me or she calls her to talk to her. I feel if she had to endure the lonelyness that I have had to deal with she would have a great opportunity to just really think about everything. I am not ready to date nor do I feel comfortable to do so. I pray often daily for God to restore our family, give her a huge amount of conviction and above all draw her back to him. I do not have my family nor do I date so it is a waiting process <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . I pray for God to help me be patient and work in her life. Right now I really feel hope and want to be a stander. I have thought about the day when she might remarry or something and it kills me. Just to see them together kills me but I have to if I want to attend our childrens functions. Has anyone else been in this situation?

#760281 11/05/03 05:41 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,212
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Yes, very similar situation, but for the most part I try to avoid most occasions unless they are a one of a kind. Like for BD's I will call if I do not have them, etc. Xmas I get them one half of the day she the other, every other year for the others.... it is tough, especially the first year but you do eventually get used to it.....

The things you have to keep in mind is that it was her choice and yet you have to live with the consequences.....therefore you need to make the best of it..... you need to start planning a future for you.....she may not even care or would care if she knew you just sat at home and did nothing..... does not mean you have to date... you can find support organizations, you can find hobbies, you can get involved in your church, or whatever.......

Yes you will always love her in one way or another and right now it does seem like a big hole in the heart..... and it will take a long time to heal..... but it will not heal if you dont let it......

Find some things to do for yourself..... you do not have to give up hope for a reunion of any kind, but part of the principles here are about finding yourself, becoming a better person so when that day comes (rather it be with her or eventually someone else) they will be able to see that better person.....

Believe me, it wont happen over night, but dont do like I did and wait so long to start.... it just prolongs the whole thing.....

Good Luck


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