My story is long...but I feel you need to know it all...I guess the way I see it at anyway. My husband and I met when I was 17 and he was 18. We dated for 4 years and then got married. We have been married for about 5 1/2 years. I didn't really ever have a boyfriend before my husband. I really tried to cater to him. I tried very hard to always make him happy. For years, anytime I was asked what I wanted for dinner my response was "whatever you want". Basically I just agreed with everything and pretty much did everything he wanted. Believe me, I am not complaining...because I made the choice to do that. He has begged for years for me to give my opinion and say what I want...but for some reason I have had a really hard time doing that. I know now that was a mistake, but cannot change the fact that I truly felt I was making him happy by doing whatever he wanted to do. I'm not sure how relavent to our marriage this point is...but...during the 4 years that we dated, he cheated on me once...by sleeping with a classmate. We broke up for 2 months and then got back together. Our biggest problems are communication (mostly on my part) and sex (mostly on my part too). It seems as though we've always had these problems...at least for as long as I can remember. Now, here's a list of the other issues that have happened since we've been married:
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• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">10 months into the marriage, he cheated...but didn't sleep with the girl. He was very remorseful and said that it would never happen again. I went on like everything was fine...instead of dealing with it.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">4 months later - he tells me that he's not happy and he wants a divorce. He says that he hasn't been happy for a few months. I talk him into a 6 month separation and said that we could date other people because I wanted him to be sure that he really wanted to be with me. Honestly, I said that because I didn't really think he would go for 6 months without being with another woman...so I was basically OKing it.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">During the 6 month separation he dated the same girl for 5 of the 6 months. About a month or so into it, he came back home only to leave 2 days later and continue dating her. He slept with her a few times and later told me after we got back together that he did love her and could have married her. I was also sleeping with him during this separation. At the time, I wanted to put my foot down and tell him that if he insisted on dating someone...then we would be getting a divorce...but I was too afraid to because I thought he might actually leave. At the end of the 6 months, we talked and got back together. I don't really remember dealing with that either...I was so happy that we were back together and things were getting back to normal...that I didn't worry about it.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">About a year later, we talked and decided that neither of us were happy and we decided to get divorced. I had to have surgery and he helped me recover by taking wonderful care of me. During my recovery, we decided to give it another shot.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A little less than a year after that, I found out that he cheated on me with two of our best friends wives. Both went on at the same time...but not together...separately! One was an emotional affair and the other was physical. He didn't sleep with either one of them. When he told me, I wasn't shocked by it, and didn't really cry about it. I just said ok...and we moved on. We had just signed a contract on our first home...and were talking about having children.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">2-3 months later I started an emotional and physical affair with a married coworker that lasted about 8 months. He found out about the affair about 3 months into it. I told him that I wanted a divorce because I was in love with the other man. He begged me not to leave (a reaction completely opposite from what I thought I would get).</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I went back and forth with my husband for months. I treated him terrible. I was so mean and disrespectful. I didn't care who I hurt. I did things I never thought I would ever do to him.</font></li>

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At this point, the affair ended months ago. The last time I spoke to the other man was in May. I love my husband, but do not feel happy anymore. I don't feel like I used to with him. I feel like being happy should come easier than this...and there shouldn't be this many problems in a marriage. We're best friends and we have a great time together...but I feel like when it comes to the marriage part of it...we just aren't clicking for some reason. I told him today how I am feeling...and he suggested that I think about it. So, I'm looking for some advice/opinions on what to do. I don't feel like he's happy either, but I'm trying to only speak for what I am/am not feeling. Please help!

Have you read through the basic concepts on this site. Has your H read them. If the 2 of you want to make things work, you can. But you both need to start now.