I have a book recommendation on the topic....

If the Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl

A therapist recommended it to me. I shared it with the group here a couple of years ago. Lots of people found it helpful and insightful.

Yes, I am a Christian. No, I wasn't offended by anything in the book. But I am not your textbook ultra-conservative Christian. I keep waiting for my church-affiliated college and high school to keep revoking my diplomas. But, I have occaisional email contact with a friend who is a fledgling minister and he finds many of my views insightful though non-traditional.

Wiffy,

I loved your reply! Great take on life. And I could be the poster child! Hey, you gotta laugh once in a while...

Yo Redhat!

He and I were on same path about 2 years ago and he is too cool!

Glad to hear you're getting out there...even if she is a y.w.


About the when to date thing...I think it doesn't come from a book. It's from inside. For me it was after being separated a long while and when papers were finally signed by judge. That's what it took. And when you also come to that place where you decide that the person you are is pretty good, then you're possibly ready imho.

Am also proceeding ahead but with trepidation. Dating 3 right now. And all are great guys. You cannot immediatley pick one and settle down. Gotta for sure be objective and think. But at same time, don't overthink as well or you'll short circuit your brain...lol...

Of the 3 the cute PA I am seeing is leading the pack. He's funny, articulate, and well educated and I like him for who he is on the inside. Plus there's this wierd tingly thing that sometimes happens when I see him at the practice. I think that used to be called "butterflies?". Been outta the dating world so long that I can barely remember.

Only slight bit of butterly action with other 2 guys though.

I swear...I have really wondered how the WS can do it. How they can so quickly settle for that other "one". It's taking me forever and I am not done yet. That's why I think most affairs won't last. How could you possibly know that the OP is the "one" if you aren't really free to actively date around and test everything out?

But alas...WE HAVE THAT LUXURY! Ha ha. WE do. We can go as slow as we want or as not so slow. Up to us. Maybe I've become a wayward dater...lol! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Peachy my lady ... ssshhhh, shame on you ... lol!, 3 at the same time ?. LOL!. Do they know that they are being juggled ?. Otherwise you are a wayward dater <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . Last year when I decided to look around I met someone that would be able to take my heart, mind & soul ... but I refused to be juggled (among other issues) and I let it go and become a very good friend. I only could "date" one person at a time, even it is just a friend w/ potential. It is just me. This is also the reason I have to run on the first red flag so that I won't get hurt. I would let them know very quickly one way or another what I am and who I am and see if she has some sparks on me. I won't do nothing more unless the feeling are mutual ... othewise I just pull back and be a friend to her.

Yeap, that butterfiles or knot on your tummy, that is the fun of it !. LOL!. However I would let those to settle down then make a rational decision. Yes, I never thought I have to date ... but life throw a curve at me. I just got dump <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> but I knew it wouldn't work, a test run. I am window shopping again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . Don't let Dopomine fog your judgement <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

Cinderella, for Christian, there is no dating ... date only grows on the palm tree. No PA or EA until both parties are comitted <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . So far I am good <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> . There is a good book for Christian ... Finding a Lasting Love by D. Purnell.

Live Learn & Love

I might touch base on another aspect of dating - How about OTHERS expectations toward your dating or not dating?

As I get closer to my D finalization, I have many well-meaning friends who encourage me to date while some feel I should wait for some pre-prescribed period to even THINK about dating again. I'm not big on the dating scene as it is but by the grace of God a neat door has opened that will VERY likely not make dating an issue with me, anyway. But there are external pressures from society, church, family, and friends. How do you folks cope with all the expectations? How do cope with your own expectations?

I don't give a d@mn about what other expected of me. I am the one who will live in it. I know who I am and what I want.

One strong point. I would not date separated or divorcing woman. No matter how deep I fall for her or she fits every single things that I look for. I just can't bring myself into it. I would wait and see even I have to loose her. She is still M ! I don't buy that M is over ... even mentally or emotionally is over ... legally & morally it is not!. I waited 1 year from ending my M emotionally and 8 months from legally Dv before I even start looking. I start dating 1 years and 2 months after Dv'ed.

Take your time to heal and to fix yourself before you start even looking. If you still have anger and hurt, seek counseling. If you have unresolve emotional issues, seek counseling. You don't want to contaminate your next R with those bagage.

It is our chance to fresh start our life, it is a blessing and we don't want to waste that blessing.

Live Learn & Love -rh-

Redhat - of the 5 or 6 people who read the book - Jew, Christian, or aetheist alike - no one was offended. The book is not about dating, per se. It is about learning to love yourself so that you can give love as well as receive love.

cinderella, don't get me wrong that book is added to my growing list of books to read <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Spring is here and it is all about Love <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

Got to run to start my single dad week <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

-rh-

Buddha book sounds good. It's about advice as it would seem, not really religious dogma. Cool idea Cindy.

And redhat, I am not juggling. I DO NOT have a C with any of these guys but am testing the water. I have this "runaway bride" syndrome and if I dated only one at a time, I'd run like heck after the third date. For me it's safer having one date on friday and another on saturday with somebody else (when son is not at home). I dont feel pressured or threatened. And no, I am not juggling as I am sure without a doubt that I might not be the only girl they're seeing either. And that's fair.

And no, the dopamine high is something I am LOOKING FORWARD to. Yea, it's starting to kick in a little, but I will not become a foggy slave to it like x is../was.. But butterflies are something I still don't get.

Basically, there's three now. There were FIVE. Yea, I said five. But I've been narrowing things down. I don't want to become a serial wayward dater at all. Am making a conscious effort to date around and not do what I did with xh...he was rebound for me as I had just broken up with college bf and he filled that EN void and seemed the perfect person...on the surface. Am taking much more time and doing the dating around that I should have done ten years ago...

This month makes 10 years I've known x. Wierd huh. Back to square one basically after 10 years. Freedom is nice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

And I resound idea of NOT dating somebody separated or divorcing. It's not solved. The puzzle isn't completely together yet. There are pieces missing and the person isn't yet healed from what we've already come to understand about divorces. If you want maximum blessings, wait ok?

There's plenty of us out there...the good and the divorced...to date. If you meet Ms. or Mr. PErfect and they're either separated or divorcing, then what harm can come to wait on them. Tell them they can give you a shout later after the judge signs papers b/c you don't want to be somebody's biggest regret..Or have them be yours. That's what I'd say. Plus, who can rush perfection? Thats my thoughts now.

Met one thru work. Other I bumped into at a local hospital and knocked a whole bunch of papers out of his arms. Third guy went to college with my sis and bro in law and we have same friends from that time in our lives.

My next door neighbor is a recently divorced mom of one boy (five years older than mine) and met her bf thru online thing. I didn't believe in it but they're really happy. Her x also cheated on her and married the OP. She also reports to me same similar goings on with OP being watchful and overly jealous and that x is not terribly happy either. Meanwhile, she got her dignity back, and found the person of her dreams without the blood on her hands of an A relationship...

Don't you want to look in the mirror and absolutely love the person smiling back at you? Guilt would be such a hard pill to swallow plus we deserve happiness after all the crud we have gone thru.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by justpeachy:
<strong> But butterflies are something I still don't get.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My theory. Butterflies cause by nervousness/eagerness from matching the fantasy part and the real part of him. The more you know and comfortable with him the knot will disappear and replace by something else ... dopamine high ??. I don't know.

As long as your dates know that they were juggled and you might be juggled too ... it is fair. I call it shopping around <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .
Hopefully the one that you want could move to the nexp page together.
-rh-

Ok...It's not something I prefer to discuss with whom I date. Unless the time comes when both he and I feel the need to make a committment, then the issue will not be visited...although I want to for sure know his views on marriage, cheating, family, role of man and woman, etc..

Somehow I think you can overcomplicate things by doing so. It's not like after a nice romantic dinner I am going to say "well this was nice Bob. Now don't get your hopes up just yet because you're being juggled and I hope for your sake that you're juggling me as well."

That would absolutely be dating suicide. Even putting it gently.

Have you ever played poker? You don't show your hand until it's the right time.

It's not being anything but a dater today. You see, we WERE used to being in a committed relationship for many years. And then, sure we owed our partners much more incluidng our intent. And now my intent is good, but they're not committed to me and I owe them nothing really except kindness and friendship. Same for them. If things are going well, we'll keep seeing each other and see where things go.

So far the HN had the "r" talk with me and it totally turned me off. I actually like my space right now and made a very difficult decision a few weeks ago when I for sure decided that I did NOT want to date a man with children. My son's been thru too much plus most of the guys who are doing the asking are about five years on average younger than me and don't have kids or were ever even married. HN had a wierd sitch where his xfiance got preggers and he got sole custody of his son. Which is admirable yes, but when my son was at the park and he showed up with his son, I could see the confusion spread across my son's little face. He doesn't want it to happen again like with his dad. So it won't.

You gotta be firm and decide what you DO want and what you DON'T want. That's why you should date around a good bit. And I was always the one guy kinda girl mind you. Two BF's in college and on the rebound from the last married Jethro.

I think we should define what we clearly want. This could be good. Maybe each of us could state our dating "objectives" just like we do in the first paragraph of a resume when applying for a job. For example:
ME: seeking educated, intelligent cute guy who values family and friends and wants children but doesn't have any now. Faith is important and so ability to laugh...alot. Must want to do half the chores and occasionally cook breakfasts on weekends and like to take vacations when work allows..one with family and other a romantic trip just because. And must want to send flowers sometimes just because. Must like the "just because" thing alot!

What I don't want: workaholic, serious drinker or gambler, no kids, past cheater or abuser, somebody rigid and unable to lighten up and laugh, somebody that believes he rules the house and that it's his castle, somebody so tight with their money that they would snicker at the thought of a weekend getaway. Somebody with mutliple divorces who can explain each one away starting sentence "well it was her fault".

See? I read Dr. Phil's books and can say 100 percent that you must "name it to claim it". I did with work and it's going pretty good. I did it with regards to deciding to get on with life and starting over when I was basically so frightened I was frozen to even try to make one step ahead. Now I'm doing it for dating.

What is it you really want in a future relationship? What is it you really don't want? I believe when you DEFINE THIS CLEARLY then you're ready to get out there...among the living..and brave the world of the singles.

Oh, and I recommend the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun"...watched it yesterday.

Also there's a great book that I recommend to BOTH sexes although it is written primarily for women. Called "Finding a Husband after 35". I used just a few of the techniques and had a full dance card ever since. Didn't really try internet approach though but it really worked for my neighbor...a former BS like us who has recently found Mr. Right and will be married this Christmas. BTW...she read this book and gave it to me. Book claims that if you follow each step you're "guaranteed" to find Mr./Ms. Right.

I liked the chapter on getting yourself together ...your "look" your "brand" you create.

peachy,

Got your email.

I understand how you feel about dating no kids men. Actually if you look at my profile on online dating I put NO on kids, I don't look for single mom. I would do it if my 2 D already out the home or hers. I know I could be a wonderful father figure, I have 2 D to prove it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> but I am not going to put my 2D to a blended family and neither hers. It is just not fair ! ... mine, hers and maybe ours <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . However life could throw us a curve, sometime we can't avoid bad luck or chase a good luck.

So you adpoted "don't ask and don't tell" policy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . I told my date about my female friends if she asks and it has came up. "What do you do last Friday ?" ... I wouldn't lie. However she knows that there is nothing with the others, just a friend. If she wants to be serious, let's talk but until then I would go for social dates with friends. Of course she would be my first choice to go with <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

There are friends, friends w/ potential R (social dates), casual dates, romantic dates and a committed date (I hope you only have one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> of this kind). I will go out as much as I could but I don't do casual dates <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . I only have one romantic date until it won't work out ... I have to learn to run at the first red flag sign. It is just me, a very simple martian, can't multitask <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

I know what I want but I have to find her. LOL!.

I always know you are a venusian <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

-rh-

I'm not a gameplayer, and I will not waste my time with shallow, indecisive women. I have held to the standards of what I am seeking in a woman, after being burned so badly the first time around. She must be Christian, honest, lively, energetic, sexy, and a view toward sharing in ministry. I have no problem if she has kids because I love kids and I have no qualms about raising a second family.

I brought these issues before God and laid them at His feet. He knows my heart. And by His grace and mercy He is already opening a wonderful door. So, I encourage you all to stand firm in your convictions and don't settle for second best. I also suggest that you NOT play games, be real, be honest, be caring, be yourself.

hurting Promise Keeper,

How do you approarch a lady ?. I wanna married you let's go to committed relationship ?. How do you know her if you don't go out with her ?.

What if she want to know you first but you want to jump into R ? she might not be ready but you might just take it wrong.

Anyway, R is as complicated as human mind ...

Define: Ready to Date Again

For me, "Ready to Date Again" means my heart, my soul, my gut .... my entire being tells me it's time. That, coupled with feeling near indifference towards my ex-H, as opposed to hate or any residual anger, which I still harbor.

For me, those are the indicators.

Based on my history, I know as soon as I decide to start swimming in that pool again, it won't be long before I end up involved and committed to someone. I want to be ready, and I'm not settling.

Jo

<small>[ April 27, 2004, 05:23 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

Jo,

and you will have a chance to pick that luck guy too ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

-rh-

Redhat - You raise some interesting questions and I certainly don't have all the answers. I can only relate to you what is happening in my case. First, my life vision and goals center around Christian ministry, so that automatically eliminates most women, because I feel that a ministry partner must ALSO be called by God. The was a big problem with my W, I was called and she was terrified. Secondly, as you can see from my earlier post, I have certain criteria for a helpmate that MUST be met BEFORE I will commit myself to M again. Those criteria also serve to eliminate a certain female population. Now, the list has been narrowed considerably.

Then, once I find someone who could potential fill the bill, I must find out whether or not we share the same values, morals, and other issues of compatibility. For me, I don't need several years to discover this in a woman. Either we are spiritually unified or we are not. I could care less what she looks like physically, I need a woman that is beautiful on the inside. My mate will be willing to sacrifice some of her "rights" and put some of her interests on the back burner, just as I am expected to in order to minister to her and fulfill my calling.

What I am trying to say is this - Have an idea of the qualities you are looking for in a soulmate. Write them down if necessary and use it as a checklist. Hold yourself to those boundaries, don't accept second best, especially if you have been burned the first time around. For some people this may well take several years. For me personally, it won't.

One last key that I will share is this - I trust that the Lord is ALREADY dealing with a certain woman who will join with me in a wonderful future. She, too, has certain expectations of a man that will please her and fulfill her. She is not willing to settle for any fish in the pond, either. In other words, let go and let God. He knows the desires of your heart and He will lead you clearly if you will allow Him TOTAL authority in the situation.

I hope that's some help and God bless!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Define: Ready to Date Again

For me, "Ready to Date Again" means my heart, my soul, my gut .... my entire being tells me it's time. That, coupled with feeling near indifference towards my ex-H, as opposed to hate or any residual anger, which I still harbor.

For me, those are the indicators.

Based on my history, I know as soon as I decide to start swimming in that pool again, it won't be long before I end up involved and committed to someone. I want to be ready, and I'm not settling.

Jo
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jo...
I completely, 100% agree with you. On all points. Including the one about it not being long before wanting to be committed once I decide to date. I'm there with ya girl.

skip (Kathy)

kathy,

I don't know why but I still flying solo ... I think it has to do what I want & my value and believe that would shrink the pool. But I believe it won't be the case for both of you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

Promise Keeper,

I do know what I want and I also leave it to the Lord. However I am not sitting down and waiting in the couch. I have profile on online personals <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> . I completely agree with you on the smaller pool. I would not involve with separated or divorcing, that are majority out there w/ my age bracket (+/-5 years). My 2 D are mix races, Asian & Latina. This is also why I am shy looking into single mom. I am not ready for blended multiraces family. It is hard enough for the kids I won't add more stress into their life. She must be a Christian or willing to be one. One of my ENs is AS and I am not Brad Pitts. You got the idea how the pool is getting smaller. However I rather live alone and happy like right now than together with someone and miserable <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

There is someone for you & I but we have to find her <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . The only thing that I really ask HIM is to have a wisdom to find her.

-rh-

<small>[ April 28, 2004, 09:33 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hurting Promise Keeper:
<strong> Redhat - You raise some interesting questions and I certainly don't have all the answers. I can only relate to you what is happening in my case. First, my life vision and goals center around Christian ministry, so that automatically eliminates most women, because I feel that a ministry partner must ALSO be called by God. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have a curiosity question for you more than anything (and if this is thread-napping, we can start a new one if need be)...but I was wondering, when you write this, do you envision someone who is also a minister--as in a preacher??--or do you envision someone who has a ministry of her own who's ministry might be complimentary to your own? For example, do you believe you both need to have the spiritual gift of preaching or teaching--or do you believe you might be a preacher or minister, and she might in music ministry or childrens ministry. Do you see what I mean? How "narrow" have you envisioned this, and might it be possible for you to say, "Oh, I hadn't considered a complimentary call!"

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Secondly, as you can see from my earlier post, I have certain criteria for a helpmate that MUST be met BEFORE I will commit myself to M again. Those criteria also serve to eliminate a certain female population. Now, the list has been narrowed considerably.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Quick question about this too. I understand the criteria thing because I have also contemplated first the characteristics I do not desire, and then conversely the characteristics and qualities that I seek--but how do you intend to find out of a lady has these qualities etc.? You can't tell by osmosis or by just looking, so I would assume there would have to be some time spent together say in a group...then maybe with each other but in a group...then just with each other. Somewhere in that continuum is "a date." My question is, where does it turn from interest/friendship/group into "a date" and then "dating"? I like your approach to having defined qualities and criteria, but how can you get to know someone enough to know if they HAVE those qualities without at some point going out on a date?? It's like a catch-22!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Then, once I find someone who could potential fill the bill, I must find out whether or not we share the same values, morals, and other issues of compatibility. For me, I don't need several years to discover this in a woman. Either we are spiritually unified or we are not. I could care less what she looks like physically, I need a woman that is beautiful on the inside. My mate will be willing to sacrifice some of her "rights" and put some of her interests on the back burner, just as I am expected to in order to minister to her and fulfill my calling. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This all sounds very biblically sound, but how do you plan to put this into motion? I don't mean to criticize, but before you even meet anyone, it sounds as if you want her to put aside her calling in order to be a helpmeet for your calling. Oh, this is coming out wrong. Let me try again...I comprehend the concept of a wife submitting to her husband, and someone has to be in charge, but the part about the husband ministering to the wife often gets overlooked. Joyce Meyers is a good example of a woman who had the STRONG anointing of God and her husband let her calling be more public than his. My suspicion is that Joyce's calling was to preach and her H's calling was to manage her!! haha

My point, my brother, is that it is likely that the women you meet will have an interest, a calling, and a ministry of her own. Do you plan to be the wind beneath her wings and allow God to use her to her FULLEST (and His fullest) or do you think that the only and proper place for your wife would be "supporting and encouraging" you?

I challenge you to consider this...not change your mind, or agree with me, but just give it a thought. Speaking for godly, divorced women everywhere, I am experiencing a new joy in having the freedom to do what God has called ME to do and what God has given ME the gifts to do and do well. I can tell the He is working through me in mighty ways, and I don't really want Him to stop. So I think I understand what you're saying about your ministry, but what if your ministry is to be the one to raise up your wife??

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>What I am trying to say is this - Have an idea of the qualities you are looking for in a soulmate. Write them down if necessary and use it as a checklist. Hold yourself to those boundaries, don't accept second best, especially if you have been burned the first time around. For some people this may well take several years. For me personally, it won't.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know what's funny? I have a very firm image (not visual but idea) of the kind of partner I'm looking for, and I know that I'm the kind of person who likes to be married, who likes to share myself and my life with another person, and who enjoys ministering to a spouse. I know this about me as surely as I know I'm breathing! And I thought is would be relatively easy to attract the kind of man I was looking for. SURPRISE! It's not as easy as I thought. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>One last key that I will share is this - I trust that the Lord is ALREADY dealing with a certain woman who will join with me in a wonderful future. She, too, has certain expectations of a man that will please her and fulfill her. She is not willing to settle for any fish in the pond, either. In other words, let go and let God. He knows the desires of your heart and He will lead you clearly if you will allow Him TOTAL authority in the situation. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, I LOVE this!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> One of my favorite memories of me is that I starting praying for my H when I was young. Not the, "oh Lord help me find him" prayers, but the "Lord, be working in him now to develop the qualities you want" kind of prayers. And God is so funny. I would have thought He would send me a gentle, kind, funny, easy-going kind of husband (like me) and instead He sent me my EXACT OPPOSITE. It was quite a challenge, but it surely made me appreciate and understand better people who are nothing like me!!! I learned so much from my exH too--like how to be logical and think things through; how to work hard and be dedicated;, how to have faith and take a leap-of-faith believing it will happen; how to enjoy my senses and be aware of what I see, smell, hear, taste, and touch that is pleasing; and how to judge things and not see "all the possibilities."

I prayed that God would give my spouse the qualities I needed, and what I needed was not what I THOUGHT I needed. God did a good job and answered my prayers even beyond what I knew to ask. Isn't that cool?? This is why I'm a little afraid but mostly excited about the man I will eventually marry one day...because God is developing things in him right now that I do not even know that I need, but I need them!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

* * * * *

I realize that some of this post was a dialogue, but some of the things you wrote really struck a chord with me and I was just wondering about a few others...so I thought I'd ask.


CJ

P.S. Is it just me, or is it weird to "start" dating again in your 40's?? heehee