I am the other woman. I have never believed in love at first sight. Then I met him. I am young and was not sexually experienced hardly at all. We were together for 2 years. We both tried to break it off. Now we have completely. The first 6 months or so he said he'd never leave her. Then I started realizing that if he didn't I was only going to hurt tremendously. I decided to move to AZ or somewhere far away...so that at least I wouldn't see him. I felt I didn't have the will power to say no. He talked me into moving to Jacksonville FL (about an hour away) instead. I then found emails of him writing to an old girlfriend talking about having sex with her. He even confessed to seeing the old girlfriend...and said he didn't have sex with her...they only emailed about it. I freaked and started threatening to tell his wife. We haven't talked in about 3 or 4 days. I miss him and I love him. If they can work it out that will be great. But I can't pretend that I don't love him. I want it to be over and so does he. He is addicted to affairs. He has been married about 4 years and dated her for about 8 or 9 years. He cheated on her during the dating and even on the night before their wedding. He said he knew that after the wedding he wouldn't anymore and so he drank from the cantene one last time. He has only said wonderful things about her....she and I would be wonderful friends had the situation been different. He has made comments about her weight...and how he has no sexual desire for her and hasn't for years...even before he met me. He said he knew that she would never and could never cheat on him....and that gave him security. I have gotten over my anger with him (it has taken months). I've prayed long and hard for that and it is a MIRACLE!!! I feel the need to tell her and beg her forgiveness and warn her...she deserves better. I feel she may be insecure and think she can't find anyone else who can make her feel the way he can make a woman feel. He has threatened to destroy me or even kill me if I tell her...of course I have no proof. I just don't know what to do. He says he still is going to leave her and that I screwed up our relationship....that I couldn't be patient enough. Any help or stories out there similar to mine? I sound like a babbling idiot....but I'm a young, university educated woman who has made some terrible choices who needs some good advice.

I don't judge you, just need to say that you don't need to tell the wife. Who would that benefit? Just wash your hands of him and don't keep making the same mistakes. Did you know that he was married when you fell for him? Would telling his wife and causing her more pain make you feel vindicated? You don't sound like a person that would intentionally want to hurt another...his wife will find out when she is able to deal with it, sometimes we know in our hearts but can't bear to hear the truth. It's between the two of them. Just my opinion. Sorry.

well, first off, threatening to harm/kill you is al legal matter and not a threat that I would take lightly.<p>You need to move on with your life...move away, far, far, away. And DO NOT tell this nutbag where you're going or even that you are leaving.<p>As for his wife, I am for honesty here but I would take his warning seriously. And she probably already knows. It's kind of hard not to.<p>He is sick sociopath and needs some intense counseling. If you don't want him to drag you down with him, leave now. And never contact him again.

I would love to sit down and talk to you since I guess you could call me the other woman. You can see my post on here as well and hear my sob story. I know pretty much what you are going through...it is tough..and one day you'll be strong enough to just get the h**** away from it all..I know one day I will be strong as well.