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Joined: May 2004
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I am 37 yr old female, I pursued my ex boyfriend for a year. I met him at a bar where I worked and we became friends. It was a mutual attraction but he only wanted casual, no relationship. I purposely showed up at the bar when I saw his car, I really pursued. He did like me but it took a full year after I was finally giving up and took off for two weekends in a row that he realized he wanted me. The only thing I can say was that I always felt I loved him more than he loved me. After 7 yrs I left and I think that is when he realized how much he loved me, even to the point of proposing but it was too late.

My current H we met after being neighbours for over a year. Both became single about the same time and we met in another neighbours driveway (get together). After 6 wks told me I was not what he wanted cos he wanted a family my kids were teens and my tubes tied. So I went on other dates, and since we remained friends I told him about the date. I showed up to visit the neighbours and he would join us. 2 wks after the break up he came back around and asked me out again. He said he missed me and realized he was jealous that I was dating etc. 3 yrs later we now have a 14 mths old baby after having a reversal.

I guess I pursue and I play little innocent games to get what I want.

Marie

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A lot depends on what is meant by pursued.

I’ve had women call me, not to pursue, but to “chat,” letting me know they are now free and available. After that, it was up to me to act.

What is interesting is the only woman who ever pursued me is my first wife, who is still trying to break up my present marriage, even though she is the one who left our marriage. That was back in 1980! I am now 65 years old, and I am happy that my present wife (of 19 years) and I still pursue each other. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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It's Saturday!!! What do I do? I am just not sure!!! One of my girlfriends has a bunch of people going out tonight and she suggested that I call the friend of x's and invite him along. I'm thinking about it, I guess if he doesn't accept the offer I know where I stand!!!

Wish me luck!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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LOL

You go Dawn!!!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!!

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by daybreak:
<strong>One of my girlfriends has a bunch of people going out tonight and she suggested that I call the friend of x's and invite him along. I'm thinking about it, I guess if he doesn't accept the offer I know where I stand!!!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How's that? If he doesn't accept, it could very well just mean that he has prior plans of his own, or that he has things he has to get done which don't allow him time to accept a last-minute invitation.

There's a chance that issuing an invitation like this could communicate a greater "interest" than this guy had previously been aware of, but...nothing's certain.

In recent months I've received an occasional invitation from one woman or another to join her for lunch or dinner or drinks or a movie. However, in each case, these invitations came from friends and (except in one instance) were for group outings. I never got the impression that any of these women had any romantic interest in me.

Perhaps I'm just obtuse or oblivious, but...it's not like I'm not considering the possibilities.

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I read an article a while back in which a psychologist was observing flirting. 80% of the men missed the flirting signals the women were giving out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Women must realize the the fear of rejection is a very powerful force. Anything a woman does to reduce that fear will increase her odds of getting asked out by an interesting man. It really is that simple. You don't have to pursue, you just have to reduce the fear of rejection.

I do think it is important to return a flirt or a friendly gesture. One of my great frustrations is when I go to a dance, ask a woman to dance, and they don't return the favor or do anything to indicate their interest. A few weeks later I hear that "Sally was really hoping you would ask her out for coffee or a drink after the dance".

I have decided not to date at this time, so maybe I am sending out mysterious signals that indicate that. But, the same thing happens to my buddies and they are very single and very anxious to go out with charming, intelligent women.

<small>[ June 07, 2004, 05:19 PM: Message edited by: JustinExplorer ]</small>

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by JustinExplorer:
<strong> ...with charming, intelligent women. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No offense to the ladies... but were do these reside??? I would jump all over the chance to spend 5 minutes with one of these... after the D is final of course <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ...I find it fascinating.

Oh, by the way... i agree with the rest of JE's post 100% whole heartedly!

<small>[ June 07, 2004, 05:23 PM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]</small>

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OK, daybreak, here it is in all it's glory.

Read the book "Young at Heart: The Mature Woman's Guide to Finding and Keeping Romance", by Rachelle Zukerman, Ph.D.

It is written for women 50 and over, but, I think that the material can easily apply to all women and even to men.

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dawn,

how did it turn out?

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Hey sing good to see ya, how's the summer break going?

Anyways it didn't go!!! Didn't answer when I called and didn't leave a message. BUT seen him the next day on a volksmarch thing to Crazy Horse Monument (cool thing) am not sure that he seen me, but he was with some little thing and her mother, So I pretended to not have seen. BUT the guy that my friend is interested in asked her out, so the night wasn't a total bust!!! It was fun watching her flirt some!!!

We have a Youth group at Church raising funds for a trip this summer and they place angels in your yard for someone else for a fee and you pay to move them onto someone elses yard. Anyways Saturday night all of us singles from church where together and everyone had had the angels but me and low and behold they were in my yard when I got home!!!! So I paid to have them sent to the church guy, am not sure if they went there or not as you put down two choices and his place is waaaaaaaay out in the country so am not sure they went there or not (and no I am not calling to find out had planned to find out tonight at a meeting which we both set on the board for, he wasn't there) Soooooooooooo now I am thinking (see my mind doesn't stop sometimes) he didn't come to the meeting tonight because he knew I would be there and it was just too forward of me!!!!!

It's just tooo much for me!!! I give up!!! Can't even imagine doing the internet thing!!!! But you know what I am fine, I am not needing anyone, just thought that it would be fun to have someone around to get to know!

C ya, Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Dawn,

Maybe you're trying too hard.

Try to let it go, be yourself, and see what happens.

I've found over and over again that when you want something to happen, it doesn't untill you stop trying and wishing for it to happen.

Sending an angel to a friend/fellow church group member is not too foward and would not scare someone away. If anything I would think it would draw him to the meeting to show appreciation.

Maybe he didn't get the angel but was hoping too and that's why he didn't show. Perhaps he thinks you sent it to someone else and was dissapointed.

Be positive!!!!!

WIWH

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Wish I try very hard to stay positive all the time!!! Sometimes it's just hard!!!

I got stood up tonight!!!! My best friends kids are gone this week and next and so she is home alone so invited her to supper and she got called by the Saturday night guy and asked out for pizza, so I am very happy for her. She was very forward though and called the guy up and said something like someone said that you and I might be interested in each other, could we do coffe or something sometime. We've all been out before as a group thing so tonight is their first true date!!!! It's just not me!!! I am with you going on about my business and if something happens it does and if it doesn't it's ok!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Dawn,

You know my story/profile and recently diving at the dating pool <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> . I want to let you that like many other replies stated ... Not persuing doesn't mean not attracted at all. There are many reasons beyond that and it is not as simple as black/white. Time will tell. For example, I won't do anything (pursue) Dv'ng or separating woman even she is my dream gal.

Don't get discourage !. Be yourself and show your interest ... If you have to work hard just to get attention then you are looking to get hurt. If he is clueless then move on. You will find one, the right one. You are someone's dream gal, you have to find him.

Put yourself in your target rich environment (dr. phil) and let it rides. I just passed Email/IM/Pictures screening and 2 hours of phone chats ... she is 36 and fit my preferences. We both cut the BS and go to the point. I passed the screening and we both attracted to each other. I am going to meet her this weekend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

-rh-

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Hey Redhat,
What site did you meet this special person on?
Thanks! Sounds exciting. I wish you the best
KK

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red,
Thanks!!! I am just going to set back and see what happens, there is no one that has totally captivated me yet.

I do know that someone special is out there for me and someday the Lord will have us meet, can't push the Lord though!!!! So I'll wait!!! It's just lonely sometimes waiting, seeing others have what you want and miss is hard!

Best of luck to you!!! We have a friend that meet someone online that is getting married the 26th of this month. I just am not comfortable with that type of thing at this time!!! I've watched some friends get totally burned.

Anyways,
Dawn

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red,
Thanks!!! I am just going to set back and see what happens, there is no one that has totally captivated me yet.

I do know that someone special is out there for me and someday the Lord will have us meet, can't push the Lord though!!!! So I'll wait!!! It's just lonely sometimes waiting, seeing others have what you want and miss is hard!

Best of luck to you!!! We have a friend that meet someone online that is getting married the 26th of this month. I just am not comfortable with that type of thing at this time!!! I've watched some friends get totally burned.

Anyways,
Dawn

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I heard a great song on the radio today called, "Somebody" by Reba McEntire. It made me smile, just think out there somewhere is somebody waiting just for me.

So keep the faith my friends! I truly believe that there is someone special out there for everyone and all we have to do is wait for God to lead them into our life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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kk2002, Yahoo!Personal <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Funny you asked !When I saw her pictures in her ads, I thought I must met her before and I could not recall ... It turns out that I saw her at the 50th anniv. of the rink. LOL!, I have noticed her then but I was busy helping around. I am excited and counting the hours <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> 'till Saturday afternoon.

Dawn, I love online personal. I am a martian, very visual. I am not Brad Pitts but AS is one of my top ENs. It saves time and embarrasment !. You know their preferences and they know yours ... plus it is much safer ... they don't even need to know your email address or IM ID or phone number 'till you are done screening them. Plus you could verified what they post and what they said later when you ask them.

While you are waiting ... get a book by [censored] Purnell, Finding a Lasting Love ... it is a good christian book on dating.

-rh-

<small>[ June 11, 2004, 04:11 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

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Tommy,
That is one of my favourite songs right now, but then Reba is my hero!! I love her show on Friday nights on WB!!! The video is pretty cool!!!

red, I will have to look for the book, thanks for all your help and support on the subject, it's easy to get discouraged but I have friends here online that help!!!! Am not sure about me doing the online thing yet though, might be a way to get my feet a little wet in the male/female conversation area.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Dawn,

You need to go out and test the water <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . I did last year when I decided that I will look for someone to commit to when I am done with my personal recovery. I go out with potentials and learn to "date". It takes practice to get comfortable around opposite sex, specially your potential <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . My dates are social dates ... non-romantic dates. I only have one kindda romantic date but the R didn't work out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . I have no regret and I learn something out of it. When your potential couldn't commit there must be more to the story ... just wait and time will reveal it or cut the losses. I learn to cut it and time will reveal the reason anyway. It is a red-flag.

Yesterday, she told me that she was re-arranging her furnitures and pack some stuff to keep it in the storage <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . For this Saturday <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I am a bit nervous about tomorrow. This is not going to be social date. I just bought a new ties & shirt, cut & dye my hair and clean up my place too. Hmm ... I have to find either Daisies or pink roses ... her fav. flowers.

-rh-

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