June 10 of 1999 I lost my father to heart failure. Thus, father's day is really hard for me since it falls the week after when he passed.

So basically I don't celebrate it anymore except for my loving grandfather who has done so much for me.

There is also something that I've been dealing with and it's related to this.

This is hard to write about.

My dad was a 100 percent stand up guy. Loved my sis and I with all his heart and was always there for us. By contrast, our mom was not exactly nice, she was demanding and very unrealistic with her expectations all her life. She never completed college and was basically a disgruntled housewife after marrying my dad. Before that she was a dance teacher with a large dance school in my former hometown. Growing up I can remember my mom always threatening to leave and tell my dad that she was not happy. My sister and I would cry and go to our rooms when that would happen. But she never left.

Fast forward. My dad dies in june of 99. She is "grief stricken". But really we thought it was because she didn't know what to do on her own at all. Less than 1 mo. later, my mom gets a call from her high school boyfriend who happened to run across my dad's death announcement in the paper. How romantic huh? Within a few more months he's dating my mom and they are pretty much together all the time. He's nothing like my father. He's been divorced three times and no kids. Still living with his mom at age sixty. No college degree or anything either.

In november of 00, my sis gives birth to her adorable baby boy. I am at the hospital with my bro in law and he's a doc as you know. After my sis delivers baby Jack, my bro is going over her chart and lab values. Suddenly my bro in law stops and gets a wierd look on his face. He calls the nurse in and tells her to have my sister's blood re-drawn again as there was an error made. They re-draw my sis' blood. A few hours later I am still here and my sis is all up and feeling good and we're clicking away with pictures. My bro in law walks back in and he has a grim look on his face. He asks me to step into the hall.

He proceeds to ask me what my sister's blood type is. I tell him it's O positive. He says that it is not that and another type. I look unsure and then suddenly I get it. I ask him "well our dad was O positive and my mom is O negative". My bro looks at me and shock spreads across both of us. At that moment I realize that my father is not the father of my sister. Our loving father was a man who raised another man's child. I asked my bro if there was any chance my dad did not know this and just raised my sis all these years believing it was his child and my bro in law said this. "That's really unlikely. When she was born they probably told him and he made up the blood type story to explain everything. Back then, people just kept quiet. Damn he was a good man." We decided to tell my sister anyway. We waited a few more hours and then Jeff gently broke the news to her. She was shocked. She cried. I cried. But we were none the less sisters. What we realized is our father kept our home together thru thick and thin. That he was her real dad and who the bio dad was is not important. That we had thirty wonderful years with our dad. Then came the not so good part.

My mom walks in the room with her old boyfriend in tow. My sister asks the guy to leave the room politely and we all stand there and look at our mom. At that time I was dealing with the Jethro/monkeyho/OW plural thing as well. My sister tells her what her blood type is. My mom says "well the lab made a mistake". My sis says they ran it two times and a third time as well. My mom says "that's a lie". We tell her that there is no way our father is my sister's biological dad and my sister asks her who her dad really is. My mom gets flustered and says "it's your dad". She denies denies denies and gets mad and walks out.

My mom was a WS and still is in many respects. A few months after that, I heard from her neighbor that her bf had moved his mobile home into her backyard and that they suspected he was living there. That's been four years now. My mom at first when we met the guy said that "his wife had died" and that "they were a career couple and didn't want kids." Later we found out she'd lied and that he had been married three times. No dead xwife. Even told an elaborate story about how she had cancer.

To this day, when I went home first weekend in April to a friend's wedding back home, I visit my mother. Again he's with her. She tells me theyre "getting married july fourth". He is quiet and doesn't comment on that. But then says "well when I get paid from that lawsuit I filed". He's been telling her for 2 years that they're getting married btw. No ring, no date as of today. Oh and the funny part is if you ask him where he lives, he says "with mom". But I saw his clothes over there in her room and alot of his stuff and in her medicine cabinet his viagra prescription.

So I see the fruits of those who are adulterers and liars. They don't change. My mom lies to this day and she's livng with a man who is also a liar and adulterer.

My sister doesn't speak to our mom anymore basically. She and my bro in law wrote them off. They don't want their kids around grandma who shacks up. Plus letting about thirty years pass and not tell my sister the truth is a bit much. I don't talk to her alot but I do sometimes and try to influence her to dump the guy and start a new life. Even at age sixty two.

Scary part is we don't think this guy is the father of my sister biologically. We think it is another guy.

Our mom will not tell.

In the end my sis and I are closer than ever and she has really helped me with the sitch regarding my xh and the birth of the OC. She told me that when my son and the sister get much older there will be a reckoning day when she finds out the truth about the date of her birth, the date of our divorce, and the date of the marriage of her parents and I am sure it won't be nice either. Meanwhile I encourage my son at home to be kind to her and when that ugly day comes, I will tell him about how much we love his aunt (my sister) and how it's sometimes more about the heart than bloodlines.

I feel really sad on father's day since my dad passed. After my x cheated until we separated and I filed, I have gotten a lump in my throat about father's day period.

To the men here who've stuck by their families during their wives' affairs, I applaud you. My dad stayed in his marriage and did so for my sister and I ...I now know this. He was there for us and probably stayed for the sheer fact that back then men didn't get custody much and we might have lost him in our life. And it was wierd. About five years before his death, after my sis and I had moved out and started our own lives as adults, my mom and my dad began really having somewhat of a relationship. They had fun, I saw them laugh. They traveled a bit. He did basically MBuilding thirty years after the fact and died a happy man.

Do whatever you can for your kids ok? They deserve it. One day on father's day or Mother's day, your children will know who was there for them and who was not. You will be loved, apperciated and valued beyond compare.

Robert was a truly great man but an even more wonderful father. I hope I will see him again one day.

Peachy,
Our family is made up of those who love us, and isn't always our biological match. When you open your heart to love, you will find love in return.

Celebrate all the wonderful people in your life. They are all in our lives for a reason!

thank you newly <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />