This is madness!!!

The OM gave my W an STD this month. She got tested on MY health insurance! (I just got the bill) Did I mention she's a Doctor who understands the risks of unprotected sex? Also he has other women, but she doesn’t know. She believes EVERYTHING he says. They only meet in hotels and have sex, as he doesn’t like the exposure and she is nervous. MY investigation and her his contacts with me (he hates me) former, enabling friends confirm this (he takes her calls on a schedule so that he can accommodate his other women)

He is an angry man who’s ex left him for an A partner. He has said that he doesn’t trust my W (“How can I, she lies to her family”) What an a**hole

Question: Should her friends let her know about his juggling act? I know I can’t because he’s told her I’m a manipulative psychopath. She’s about to bet the kids, the house, her new medical practice and her dignity in the quest to follow the smoke he’s blowing.

Also: Have any of you engaged the OP legally? My W's OM has done much which would allow me force him into court.

Dr. Harley says to expose OP to make the price of the A known and to burst the bubble. My L agrees. Folks in other threads have mixed opinions. I have yet, however encountered anyone who has used this tactic. Anyone? Anyone?

First, I'm sorry your going through this--

Follow Dr. Harley's advice and expose the affair--

If her friends know what is going on, they need to confront her--or I wouldn't consider them to be very good friends--

And yes, you can tell her about his juggling act--whether she believes you or not--is not your problem at that point--you've let her know--and it will put doubts in her mind--and if you have any proof of this--use it to back up what you tell her--it will cause even more doubts for her--

She will get angry at you--so expect that--it's normal--your the bad guy here--in her eyes right now at least--

Read all you can on PLAN A--and begin to implement it--trying to meet as many of her needs as she'll let you--but there is a time frame for that--if the affair hasn't ended by then--go to Plan B of NO-Contact-

While working on Plan A--make changes in yourself-
area's you know went wrong in your marriage--

and he is right--how can he trust her?? she is having an affair with HIM--and it doesn't matter that he's angry and bitter--this is an issue in your marriage--about what went wrong--and what needs to change--in order to make HER want to come back to you and your marriage--

And if you take the time to read over in the Recovery Form or even over in the EN forum--you may find posts where it has worked--

I know of a couple of folks on the EN board who this worked for---so you may want to post there--

I agree with TR. You didn't mention how long it had been since you and your wife were together, but it sounds like it would be a good idea for you to see the family doctor for a checkup and blood work yourself.

And I too am sorry to see you or anyone go through this.