My story is on GQII. I have had enough. I just can't take it anymore. My WH has been mean and says there is no hope for our marriage. I have told my family and they support me. His family hasn't contacted me or anything. We live here near his family and they have always been so nice to me and done anything for me. Now, I feel like they all hate me. I don't understand why because H is the one that had A's.
I have an apt. tomorrow and just want all of this over with. I tried so hard to save my marriage. I did Plan A and started on Plan B....not long.
I am devestated about losing my family but what else can I do? I refuse to sit around here waiting on him to come back to me. He isn't the man I married 14 yrs. ago.
I never thought I would be in this position. What can I expect and what should I do about my son? Should I put him in any kind of couseling?

TR,

Hey girl. Fancy meeting you here! Can you wait possibly a little longer. In the grand scheme of A's, this has not been a very long time. And 14 years is really long time. I want to believe that maybe your WH is in there somewhere.

Before hiring an attorney, have you considered hiring the Harley's or Penny Tuper from SYMC first?

I know where you are...after all, I am there too (certainly not trying to judge you). Just wonder if you think you can get some other kind of "counsel" before you hire legal "counsel" and potentially be one of those great success stories we love to read about!

As far as you son...I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! My son just turned 10, and he knew what his Dad did, and to put it simply, he was hurt and PISSED and so anxiety ridden he had pulled a patch of hair out of his head so big, it looked like he was a balding man. The counseling did WONDERS for him, and me. We saw a family therapist...and she would help me though my situation, and share feedback on his, and give me tips on how to heal each other, etc.

As far as the in-laws...let it roll off your back. My WH's parents LIVED with us when he LEFT. So, here I was, living with my in-laws in my house. At first, they were extremely angry with WH. Eventually, they moved out, and then I began to see the shift, where they distanced themselves from me. Blood is thicker than mud.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TreeReich:
<strong> What can I expect.......</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A continuation of the same roller coaster you've been riding. Talk with your attourney and he/she'll let you know about all the legal expectations. Make sure that you are comfortable with your choice of legal aid.

I, too, highly recommend some type of therapy for you and your son to help the transition. I put all three of my girls into counselling and not only did it help them, it gave me some tools to help deal with their grief.

Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers

I have an pt. for legal aide tomorrow. I will go to that and see what I can do. As far as waiting to file.....I really don't see any hope for my marriage. I used to think there was a little hope but from how my H talks and the things he says to me and my in laws just tells me that it's over. At this point I don't see how it could work. My entire family knows as well as all of my friends. How could I ever have this man back in my life???? He has hurt so many people. I don't think he loves me at all anymore.

My heart goes out to you TreeReich. As someone who is going through almost the exact same thing at the exact same time I totally understand. At least the one good thing with me since I descided on the D is my level of anxiety has gone way down. It seems like I have a pretty clear path now and hopefully following it will lead me to happiness. I can only hope for the same for you as well .

Remember this from my favorite poem
"It matters not how straight the gate,
how charged with punishment the scroll.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."
from Invictus by William Henly

I am at the same point, TR and hitman...It sucks to be us right now.

My Fogman is completely unrepentant and disrespectful to us. I am so done with the cr*p!

The pain is still there. In fact, I am almost reliving everything from the beginning of the A. Maybe because I need to make sure this decision is the best for me and the 3 kids. I will be talking to SH next week, then I'm filing if he gives me the "go ahead". Our house hits the market on Monday, and then I'm heading to my parents for awhile...

I found a support group from a link here. It's www.rainbows.com. Support meetings and activities for children. Check it out. I'm still finding out about it. Children are very affected by divorce, so I am definitely getting help for mine.

Well, I did cancel my appt. on Thursday. I jusy couldn't bring myself to do it. Why do I have to love this man so much? I wish I could just fall out of love with him just like he did me! It hurts so much! Sometimes I just want to run away and forget all of this but then I look in my son's face and I jsut can't throw everything away without a fight. My H tells me that there is no hope and I should move on with my life. I don't know how he can say that to me. It's so painful!!! Where did the man that I love so much go? Will he ever return?

TR

I feel for you, we are on the same exact page! You should continue in a STRONG Plan A for as long as you can stand it. Have you thought of Plan B? If you are not ready, don't do it! You will know. Read as many posts as you can to see both sides of the road, OK?

(((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))

whatamI doing...I'm in plan B now. It is so hard! I feel like a part of me is dying inside. I just want my life back!

TR & WAID,

One thing to remember (that I didn't believe myself until it happened)....

You WILL feel better in time!!

I still have times when I find myself thinking about what should have been or looking at how the man I've loved for 2 decades is destroying his life that leave me teary-eyed.

But I'm SOOO much better than I was just 3-4 months ago. I look forward to life again, although I'm a little scared because I've never been without a partner before in my adult life.

Hang in there! Hugs to both of you {{{{TR & WAID}}}}!!

LL

thank you lordsalady!
{{{{{{{{Hugs to you too}}}}}}}

Hey Tree Im trying to figure out how to say this without coming out sounding creepy or wierd <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> but I saw your pic on the site and let me tell you, your a nice looking lady with from what your posting shows you have a heart of gold, with both those qualities your husband is the one losing out, not you.

Hope that didnt come off as creepy

Joey,
Thanks for the compliment! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> It made me feel good!
Yes, my WH is losing out. I am a very nice person and a wonderful wife and mother. One day he will notice that. I may not be with him but he will regret his actions.