Read the Karma thread - following abuse. What actually is verbal abuse? When a partner is very controlling and paranoid and starts asking millions of questions and blows up when they're not what he wants to hear - is that verbal abuse. Sort of like a spanish inquisition - why you late? who was there? did you deliberately stay late so you could check out the men? was it because you wanted to flirt? did you touch/grope/flirt with anyone? how long does a taxi take to arrive anyway -

OR

How much did you drink? how can it be possible that you stay out for four hours and only have 4 drinks? were you drunk etc etc.

Only on selected topis though - anything to do with other men or possible straying. It gets really ballistic. The relationship is very argumentative and both parties can really press the buttons for take-off. Otherwise, perfectly calm and harmonious and sweet - except for the above.

Please advice as I don't think it's normal.

Sweeney - Which "one" is asking the questions?

Sweeney, to me this does not sound "abusive" even though it may be unpleasant.

It DOES, however- sound very jealous & controlling no matter which person it is coming from.


Shelle

Hi ITHURTS, it's me asking the questions. Not just for myself but also have a good friend who ends up running over to my place over fights with H. I get grilled for hours as well by her husband and wondering whether its normal. ie. so she was with you - who else, how many people, how many drinks have they had. What time did X leave and what about Y. and how long did she talk to him for etc.

Get the book, "the verbally abusive relationship" by Patricia Evans. This will answer many of your questions. And it also deals with emotional abuse, such as the controlling behaviors you described, and ways to counter them.
Good Luck.

sweeney

Check out this website for good information on non-physical abuse. Good Luck

http://www.drirene.com/theabuser.htm

FR