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Joined: Sep 2000
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Day One: My son and my exH are having a fight (again) about work. My exH asked son to work on Sunday rather than Saturday--son said sure. Come Sunday morning, exH called to remind him, and son said yep. On Sunday afternoon, son asks exH/dad if he could go to his GF's house to watch this certain movie, and exH says, "Whatever!" Son hears "sure" and goes to GF's and then exH goes into his, "No one ever helps me, everyone abandons me" speech #1.

During the time that exH is feeling all abandoned, he says STATEMENT NUMBER ONE:

"You know what? My son has done to me what I did to you. I guess what goes around really does come around."

Is it just me, or did I just see a head peek through the fog for a VERY brief moment there??

But the part that puzzles me is not that his head popped out of the fog--it does that every now and then from time to time despite his attempts to keep the dry ice in the fog machine ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) Nope, Statement Number TWO puzzles me.

We were discussing some of the upcoming expenses for the kids (glasses and contacts, a class trip, school photos, etc.) and some of our personal finances slipped in by way of saying, "If you agree to pay XYZ, are you doing well enough to follow through on those agreements? If you're having some difficulties, speak up now so we can plan for it--don't just surprise me."

STATEMENT NUMBER TWO:

"Well I don't just have someone paying for me to live. I have to work for a living."

He pays me MINIMAL child support, and he pays me to buy out my portion of the business I helped him build. It's not like I get thousands of dollars either--I need every dollar to actually care for his children and care for us all!

Some days, I just swear! It's as if he has NO CLUE that I care for HIS CHILDREN. They are HIS too ya know!! It's not like I made 'em and just expected him to pay! HE WAS THERE! He chose to become a father! OY! I suspect he has no idea what it takes to really be a parent to teenage children.

But it just BUGS me how one day he can see through the fog, and the next day the fog is thicker than ever...still. AARRGGHH. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> All I can say is thank God I am not involved in that kind of unstability any more!

Anybody else have an ex like mine?? How do they DO that???????


CJ

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Good Morning CJ,

((((((((((((((((((CJ)))))))))))))))))))

Hugs and kisses from your favorite lecherous reprobate and resident curmudgeon. I've been gone for awhile, just returned from three weeks in Alaska and Vancouver. It turns out that I do vacations pretty well, I think it is my calling in life to be on vacation. I really like cruise ships where they kiss your butt nonstop from dawn to midnight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It really isn't surprising that your ex is bouncing all over the place with his thinking. It happens to all of us following a divorce, we all have our moments of sanity admidst the craziness.

I wish I could tell you that this is all going to get better, but it really isn't, at least not without proper therapy. What does happen fairly often is that over time, we come to a level of acceptance, the actions of the exs become less and less important to us, and we kind of learn to roll with it.

I think you once mentioned that your ex is bi polar and with that comes some behavior that resembles mild schizofrenia.

I can do a fine job of telling you about her goofy behavior, but I don't spend a whole lot of time sharing my own experience as a basket case.
Actually, most of us act a little goofy during and following divorce, it is a tremendous period of adjustment, and a time of a whole new understanding of what it means to live life on life's terms.

But it sure can be exasperating! It has been over twenty years now for us, and my ex really hasn't changed much. The difference is that the things she does that used to drive me nuts are now driving someone else nuts. There comes a point where she just can't hurt me anymore. The things that were once so important in our lives just don't matter anymore.

I love quotes, but I don't know where this one came from. "The greatest triumphs and the greatest tragedies in our lives are trifles." I understand that this is all very important to you right now, but in two months, it will be ancient history.

Luv Ya!!!

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(((((CJ))))).....I agree with

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> your favorite lecherous reprobate and resident curmudgeon </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">on this one.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I think you once mentioned that your ex is bi polar </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If this is the case and he doesn't take the medicine he needs along with monitoring from a professional in the mental health field, you, your kids will always be affected by his mood swings.

<small>[ September 08, 2004, 04:23 PM: Message edited by: Ragamuffin ]</small>


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