Hello. I am hoping there might be a fellow Bay Area person who can help point me to a GOOD counselor in San Jose. I need some serious direction as I can't even ask myself the right quesitons anymore. I am very stuck and my brain does not think logically anymore.

Briefly: My ex has been asking me to work on reconcilliation after a 4 year separation and final divorce. He was the wayward spouse and I am completely shut down to him. I don't trust him and find that I even find reasons not to believe his intentions and to convince him that what he feels for me is not love, but remorse and guilt that he is trying to appease.

I can't answer the simple question, "Do I love him". I try to say no and I cry. I try to say yes and it feels like a lie. He told me last night that if I just tell him I don't love him that he will go away and leave me alone. I feel that I am simply avoiding further pain because while I want to be hundreds of miles away from him, I cannot say these words to him.

We have 2 boys, 13 and 8 and I don't want to put them through any more turmoil by attempting and failing to reconcile.

I appreciate any and all counselor names. Thank you, Sincerely.

Have you considered just dating each other for awhile??

Take it slow and see how it goes--

Read the information on this site and use what's helpful--as far as the Questionaries and such--

I don't know any counselors out in that area--sorry, but I still have some friends out that way I can probably make some inquiries--and see who if anyone they could recommend--

Where abouts in SJ do you live--I lived out for awhile--a very long time ago--