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WELL! Today is October 7, 2004. I filed for divorce from the XH on October 8, 1997. The 7 year mark... is a day away!! I hope all of you will celebrate with me the 7 year (vs. 3,4,5,etc. year) achievement of re-virginization. Suddenly, it occurs to me... how very, very, VERY under-sexed is Laura Lee. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Next project!!! DE-virginization!!! lol How's everyone else doing? Any words of encouragement for the nearly re-virginized, Xtremely underseXed, Laura Lee? Laura <small>[ October 07, 2004, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>
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Since no one else is responsible for my re-virginization, I've taken matters in into my own hands.......Ewwwwwwwwwwww....... Sorry, Billy go to your room....... Wait are you sure you want me to go to my room? Let's see I'm 'bout 1/2 your virginized age but hanging in there quite well. The whole de-virginization thing sounds fun, if done properly........... Ohhhhhhhhhh........ Ohhhhhh............. Did you hear I'm getting married........ Yuppers.... That's right..... June 19th.... Cool huh??????? I'm planning an outdoor wedding, maybe someone can help with the small details....... I need to know what color of suit will bring out my eyes, should we have a catered meal or finger foods, what year should I plan this for, Ohhhhh and Yeah anyone seen a good Bride around Lately who ain't got nuttin' planned on that day...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Hey Bill,
At this time, I'm not sure I can recall a... point of comparison... to know if it de-virginization is being done properly...
hmmmmmmmm...
Congrats on those nuptuals (bride pending)!!!
I'm at a place in my life where I would really like to have a man in my life. My kids do not need me as they have...
and I have time on my hands.
There's just no REASON for whoever that one certain man who is out there for me... to try his own hand at sex... when I'm... abailable.
lol
Laura
<small>[ October 07, 2004, 03:45 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by laura_lee: <strong> bump grind bump</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OMG <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Cough, Cough.......... ROTFLMAO....... Bad Laura, Bad girl you go to my room right now.... Go on get in there.......
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lol
did you see my first reply, Bill?
For some reason, the "system" didn't register it... so I had to "bump" it... lol.
Well, that famous line from "Dirty Dancing" comes to mind:
"Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" (in Bill's room?)
lol
Sooooooooo... I meet these guys that are SO OBvious that they "want me"... and they don't even know how not to FIXATE on that fact... that I kick them to the curb... immediately.
THEN, I met a guy I actually liked... both nice and sexy... and smart... etc.....
and I went right into kneejerk mode.
Because I've been through things, I think, I don't seem to "play it cool" or be patient enough to let things develop.
Hmmmmmmmm.... I have to outgrow these kneejerk reactions and PLAY IT COOL!!
L
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Not to side-track this but..... </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LostHusband: <strong> Did you hear I'm getting married........ Yuppers.... That's right..... June 19th.... Cool huh??????? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wow! I didn't know that!! Congratulations....your fiance is a lucky woman from what I've picked up about you! I'm very happy for you.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Ms.O: <strong> your fiance is a lucky woman from what I've picked up about you! I'm very happy for you. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well thank you Ms. O, but did you miss this: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> maybe someone can help with the small details....... I need to know what color of suit will bring out my eyes, should we have a catered meal or finger foods, what year should I plan this for, Ohhhhh and Yeah anyone seen a good Bride around Lately who ain't got nuttin' planned on that day...... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But as soon as I find a bride, I'll let her know she's a lucky woman <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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HA! You're right.....I did miss that!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> You are such a scamp!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> (BTW....how old are you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )
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Billy Boy, Billy Man - yeah, that's better.....can a lay minister perform weddings? I was wondering who I might call.....
no, wait, Hugh wants me to do that photo spread first.....after all, I am the woman who worked at the church for a while. That probably would enhance my application to Hugh's mag. Don't you think?
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And since you are planning your dream wedding, I can volunteer to do the photos - for a price, though. Do you want to see a sample - I still have the photos from one wedding. They never paid me. I kept the pictures.
And, shall I provide the balloons for the big event?
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Laura Lee, The seven year mark serves but a itch-- your ready to become undun. Honey, I so do understand. You poor, poor, dear. For heaven sake, can't let the trojan horses in now, it has to par with the divine deflowering process. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Have you heard of the joke- why bachelors are like washing detergent? They both work fast and leave no rings! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> So we need to work faster, see if we can relieve you of this dreadful burden and heavy yoke. Soooooo, we'll have to bump you back you to general questions and send our MB dream, team on a personal mission to locate you a wonderful husband. Since you now have nothing but time and your hands available to perform a good service. Lol. Obvious, your ready to graduate from the divorce forum 101--- Wow, here I thought at the two year mark. I was doin real exceptionally good, a remarkable record for me keeping the values turned off. Seven years without----oh what a blow, what hardship. Please accept my sympathy, compassion, empathy. Lost Husband& Maybe Now Found Husband! Congratulations, on your marriage on June 19. I would be delighted to offer my assistance and services for the intimate and blessed event. As a florist, wedding planner, I am at your service. As for a bride, how about my sister Laura Lee? I am sure she would be happy to be a stand in should no else apply for the position in due time. Laura Leebido would I am sure be simply enthustiastic to be released from her harsh yoke of depravation, and sounds quite ready for the bump and grind of marriage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Lhusband, this situation might work best as then you don't have to take matters into your own hands. Now tell me how satisfying is that. As we all know Laura is just hot stuff- One man plus one woman and God get't the job done. LOL Backyard event, you say, consider it done. What's my budget to work with? I'll handle the flowers, martha stewart move over. Now what we need is some caterers to decide on the menu, or can be pot luck deal, musicians, minister, rings, bridal party, guests from our MB family, invitations, video, cam productions. Throw in a couple of showers, maybe for Laura sake a naughty, nice shower and the best part a very long honeymoon. Wow what a party... As for groom's attire--that is selected by the bride her self. So there we go--we have everything worked out. LOL... Guess it's time to rent the video Fiddler on Roof! Are we getting to much oxygen these days or what? Or could it be as we heal, get rid of our negative baggage we have less junk, and clutter and more room in our minds to think about other matters. Oh what torture... It's time to get back to the pool, laps calm the hormones down quite nicely. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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Of course we can't forget to include Cinderella doing the photos, while she is doin her happy dance!
So do we have any caterer's on board, musicians, party rental folks, tailor's for wedding dresses, grooms attire, a jewler, a minister, printer for invites, video equipp, wedding cake decortator, make up artist, hair stylist, travel agency to book a very, very long honeymoon?
Or the big question should be will this be an elopement?
Sign up here:
Party on!
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Hey! Wait a minute! This was a completely unfair process! LH, you can't possibly choose a bride so quickly, and certainly not without reviewing other applications! If you don't mind, Laura, you've got some competition! Here's my resume, I hope this is sufficient: Sex: female (that's a start, right?) Age: 25 (time is on my side! You'll have me around longer - you will definitely die first, lol. Also, lots of enery, if you get my drift!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Occupation: Displaced homemaker ( I can cook and clean REAL good!) Hobbies: sappy poetry writing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Plus, I am buy one, get 2 free - I'm a package deal with two beautiful little girls! Oh, and did I mention that if you're looking to enlarge your family, I'm the girl for you! My fertility is unsurpassed, as you may remember from previous posts! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> LH, I have to argue that it looks like I'm a pretty good deal! You may want to review your options before making any final decisions!
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So what shall we get ((((((LauraLee))))))) on this glorious day, the official day of her re-virgination…..Hmmmmmmmmm…………..
But now it seems like Ms. Lee’s quest has changed to the quest of being de-flowered. How ‘bout we start a fan club in her honor? We could wear t-shirt that quote the famous philosopher, Larry….. “Get ‘er Done”…….
“””BTW....how old are you?”””
Is this a trick question?
“””That probably would enhance my application to Hugh's mag. Don't you think?”””
Most definitely, but I have a request…….. You must wear the clown shoes….. Trust me, Hugh will think clown shoes are the bomb digity.
“””And, shall I provide the balloons for the big event?”””
Awesome, we will need lots of assorted balloons for such an event….
“””What's my budget to work with?”””
Uhhhhhhh………… Ummmmmmmmm………. It’s a little tight…….
“””I'll handle the flowers, martha stewart move over.”””
Heck, my neighbor’s got a pretty flower garden, I was just thinkin’ of borrowin’ those.
”””As for groom's attire--that is selected by the bride her self.”””
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa there……….. HOLD it…….. I ain’t one of them there city fellows now, I just need to know what color of shirt y’all want me wearing under my overalls……..
”””Guess it's time to rent the video Fiddler on Roof!”””
Or Hank Williams, JR……… Same thing…
”””Or the big question should be will this be an elopement?”””
What do elephants have to do with my weddin’?
“””Hey! Wait a minute!”””
Keep your britches on young Lady, I ain’t made no choices yet…….. Let me look over this here application:
”””Sex: female”””
So fer so good…….
”””Age: 25”””
Hmmmmmmm……. Every woman I know, lies about her age…….. So if she says she’s 25 that means she’s what 36……? I don’t know ‘bout all these older women.
“””Occupation: Displaced homemaker”””
Now that’s what I’m talking ‘bout, I like a woman who can do a man’s work. Plus I’ve been looking for someone to build me a home.
“””You may want to review your options before making any final decisions!”””
Well as I see it, I’m in no hurry………… If I ain’t gettin' married till June 19th, I’ll take applications till June 18th…….
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You guys are hilarious! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> cinderella... well, isn't Hugh H. being a "lay minister" kinda sacreligious? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> He's not officiating my wedding!!! lol skydiver, You're the best! Mrs. O You gotta keep your eyes on LH. He's movin'... and you're not seein' it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> faithhopelove... He's all yours... if he wants applications and resumes. I'm not sure I could "make it" through the second round of interviews. LH... Buy the t-shirt! Start the cult following! See ya, L
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Hey Miss Virgin Laura Lee, you ain't gettin' off that easy...... C'mon SPEECH SPEECH..... This is the part where you tell us all how you did it and give us hope.... Ohhhhhhh and through in a little humor, as well......
Ohhhhhhhh and a little point of clarification.... I don't think Hugh has the whole lay speaker thing going on, I do believe that Clowny Shoes was talking about me.... And Miss Cinder's, no I can't perform weddings but I can do funerals.....Go figure.....
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Uh hump (she clears her voice - and chokes back the tears) lol (u get it, right LH - oh that's right - you don't either)
(she begins the speech)
I'd like to thank everyone for gathering today on this momentous occasion.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
On this day, October 8, 2004, I Laura Lee - have achieved a 7 year goal of "revirginization".
My new life begins, today, as "the revirginized Laura Lee".
I've heard it said that what men are looking for is "an experienced virgin".
Well, I've got the experience. And I've been revirginized.
So, of course,.... they all want me.
(Gotta go! Have a great weekend. I can add more to "the speech" later.)
L
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Uh hump (she clears her voice - and chokes back the tears) lol (u get it, right LH - oh that's right - you don't either)
(she begins the speech)
I'd like to thank everyone for gathering today on this momentous occasion.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
On this day, October 8, 2004, I Laura Lee - have achieved a 7 year goal of "revirginization".
My new life begins, today, as "the revirginized Laura Lee".
I've heard it said that what men are looking for is "an experienced virgin".
Well, I've got the experience. And I've been revirginized.
So, of course,.... they all want me.
(Gotta go! Have a great weekend. I can add more to "the speech" later.)
L
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Uh hump (she clears her voice - and chokes back the tears) lol (u get it, right LH - oh that's right - you don't either)
(she begins the speech)
I'd like to thank everyone for gathering today on this momentous occasion.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
On this day, October 8, 2004, I Laura Lee - have achieved a 7 year goal of "revirginization".
My new life begins, today, as "the revirginized Laura Lee".
I've heard it said that what men are looking for is "an experienced virgin".
Well, I've got the experience. And I've been revirginized.
So, of course,.... they all want me.
(Gotta go! Have a great weekend. I can add more to "the speech" later.)
L
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