DV,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He said (and then later retracted) that he had chosen loneliness over a painful relationship. (He retracted the "painful" part). He said I didn't appreciate him and that was part of it, but apparently not all of it. I admitted I hadn't always appreciated him, and he said I never told him when I did.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Did my wife talked to your husband before she talked to me?....lol..Those were very much of what she told me. She now wanted us to become best of friend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . I told her that I don't think I can do that at the present time, but I will do the best I can for the children's sake.

The real-estate agent called me lastnight and told me that there was another offer on the table for that house. I told her that I can't do anything until my lawyer give me the green light. she said that I could put an offer in today and I do have 3 days to back out if my lawyer does not approved. Do you know anything about this? anyway, I told her to go ahead and write it up, I will think about it overnight and if I'm ready, I will sign it tomorrow. I'm very nervous about this, although I know I'm safe at my job for now, but you never what will happen tomorrow. on top of this, it is 20 miles away from my stbxw and we have share physical custody of the children, any idea on this would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway, Hang in there, I think you are doing the right thing adn I hope that I'm too....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by jamesp:
<strong>She now wanted us to become best of friend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . I told her that I don't think I can do that at the present time, but I will do the best I can for the children's sake.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, I've heard this too, and had a similar response except that I have no kids.

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The real-estate agent called me lastnight and told me that there was another offer on the table for that house. I told her that I can't do anything until my lawyer give me the green light. she said that I could put an offer in today and I do have 3 days to back out if my lawyer does not approved. Do you know anything about this? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, you have 3 working days to back out of contracts. I think this is a state-by-state thing, so I don't know what the laws are where you live.

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
anyway, I told her to go ahead and write it up, I will think about it overnight and if I'm ready, I will sign it tomorrow.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You might be able to write the offer with a contingency - this is what I did. For mine, it is based on my being able to get my financing (which is dependent on H's closing so I can pay off my debts). So, if I don't get my $$, I can get out of the deal and get my earnest $$ back.

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Anyway, Hang in there, I think you are doing the right thing adn I hope that I'm too.... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think so too. Your situation is so much like mine! I went into it thinking whatever was meant to be will be... as of today, I've learned that all the neighbors have approved of my dogs, sight unseen, and the fence guy wants to meet me out there tomorrow. So, it's looking good. I hope it works out for you too.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by WhenIfindthetime:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If he doesn't I'm going to liquidate my IRA. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NOT A SMART IDEA.

if you do you have taxes and a 10% penalty to pay. . . so you only get to keep about 50% of what you withdraw. . .

NOT A SMART IDEA

wiftty </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for the advice. I do know about the penalties and taxes - I also know you have 60 days to return the $$ without the penalty and taxes. So, if I'm certain the $$ is coming, I will try really hard to make sure my closing doesn't fall through over a timing issue.

then liquidate was not the right word to use, borrow was more like it. . .

however, the time limit is 60 days, and since there is some lack of total control on your part over getting the money, i hope that you think about your decisions wisely.

wiftty

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by WhenIfindthetime:
<strong> however, the time limit is 60 days, and since there is some lack of total control on your part over getting the money, i hope that you think about your decisions wisely.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will. There is some amount of $$ I would pay just for peace of mind. Living in limbo is the PITS.

I had buyer's remorse for weeks before AND after I bought the place and moved in. I also got a very drunk call one night from H telling me I had no business buying a place and then expecting him to pay the mortgage( maintenence). I would be getting maintenence anyway, and of course it is my job to provide a home for our children.

It's not really remorse, I think, that you're feeling. This is scary to do on our own. And, more so, it's not RIGHT that we're doing all this while still married, and doing it without our spouses. My H and I had a nice home together, and had actually looked at this place in April to buy together, so that has been difficult, but it's really weird deciding where things belong and planning improvements without him, as everything for 14 years has been planned together.

Stick it out, and do what you can. buying is better than renting, especially if you're in an area which is growing.