When does it end? I’ve been, these last few months, trying to adjust to this new situation of being divorced (feels like “deserted”) I’ve had to fight against depression, for my job, and about my place in my children’s lives. Now the kicker: My supervisor is pressuring me to leave by transferring me to remote site doing a job I'd HATE, effective immediately. My colleagues and staff knew it was happening for weeks, I just found out. They know the sitch. They know I need the stability (both fiscal and emotional). They know I’m recovering from depression. And. They. Do. It. Anyway.

Funny thing is my WxW found out and immediately gave me numbers of attorneys to call. Her brother, who funded her divorce from me, wants to help (he’s a lawyer with connections). “You’re brilliant. You’re better than them all.” “You have the mark of greatness on you”, WxW tells me this and hugs me for the first time in 9 months. Why the sympathy? Is it fear? Is it concern that the money will run out? Some say it because she really loves me (A and betrayal, and divorce aside). Please, somebody, let me know what’s up with that.

I’m so tired. My life's continued to tank. I’m always fighting, always on the defense. This year has been so full of loss for me. I hate my life right now. Those who have jammed me (WxW, supervisor, etc.) keep sticking me and tell me it’s for my own good. Well guess what? It’s not good for me! I have no ides how to approach this. This new position is impossible for me to perform (even the logistics of getting there are difficult). I’m meeting with my VP. I hope and pray, I get a break.

<small>[ November 29, 2004, 12:37 PM: Message edited by: dleightonc ]</small>

I hope you get a break, too. If you have to take this remote assignment, would you still be able to live where you are, or would you have to move?

But....

Sometimes things that look really bad can turn out for your good. I work for a company who manages retirement communities. I have, over the years at my job, had a couple turns where things did not work out the way I wanted them to. The most recent was nearly 5 years ago when I applied for a position I really wanted, and ended up losing to someone younger and newer with the company that myself. I was disappointed, but tried to look at it as "it wasn't meant to be".

In hindsight, not getting that promotion was a very good thing. First, the position has turned out to be high stress and require a lot of travel. Second, after the position was filled, I was assigned responsibilities for an entirely different set of communities all owned by one common owner.

This owner back in 1999 started looking at developing a community in our city. It has come to fruition and will be opening next spring, and I have applied (and was told last week have been accepted) as Director of Accounting for the community.

This is something I've always wanted to do, but because Iowa isn't a hot retirement spot, it's always looked like I'd have to transfer to another state to do it. But being passed over for the promotion and assigned to this particular owner gave me an opportunity that I otherwise wouldn't have gotten. It's been 5 years in the making, but point is....it's something that started out being very disappointing and instead has turned out for my good (I hope!).

So hang in there. Things that look bad right now may turn out much better in the long run.

LL

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all this. Hang in there. It will get better and you will survive it.

I mainly just lurk here, but reading helps me a lot. To see what others have gone through and survived, I didn't think it possible until I came here.

I was talking to someone the other day and she made a comment that I had not considered in some time.

I have been here almost forever and am 6 years into my divorce. Can't believe it's been 6 years this month since the decree was signed but it has. So I am a long way from some to the things you are feeling.

But, if you have read any of my posts lately, you would be able to tell that life is sort of stinky for me right now. Tons of things going wrong. And sometimes I get mad at God for letting these things happen to me.

Then I think about Job - you know, the man in the Old Testament who lost everything. His wife told him to curse God and die but he didn't.

Even he recognized that these horrible things were not sent by God. That God was the strength to make it through them.

So, what my friend's comment was was that Satan wants to get to us. And he will do it however he can because he knows us so well. And our job is often to just stay focused and do the best we can to keep walking in strength. No matter how hard it is.

Hi Cinderella,

I'm sorry things are rough. I agree, though, with your view that these things are not sent by God. He is our strength to make it through.

"God is faithful and ever true to his promise,"

These things are not from God. Agreed. I can't participate with that which is not of God. But how do I fight it?

I can feel the tension in your post. Remove the word "fight" and replace it with "manage". You are giving power to the problem when you build the problem up.

That is one thing that's worked for me. When alot gets tossed at me, I say "well how do I manage this?" It's easier to manage something than fight it. Plus you're in control this way.

Some things aren't from God. You're right. And some things are sent to us, bad things, so that they become a character builder.

Last year I lost my old job b/c of something I did not do...it was over a contract dispute with a company I was working for...doc was trying to get out of a very large contract with my company. Here I was, a divorce looming, my x shacked up with OW, a new house, and no job. I was scared silly. But I can tell you that I did not sit down and cry all the time. I sucked it in and managed it. I ended up getting another job and have been with it a year now. More money and less hours, which is great for a single parent. God has a plan. Just have faith in that.

And remember, you can manage this.

Thanks. "Manage”. I like that word. Looking at it that way alone allows me to put things in an entirely different perspective. Besides, I'm all out of fight right now.