I'm on a roller-coaster. I'll tell you everything. I partied all through my twenty's leading a carefree life with no real accomplishments including getting two DUI's and a bankruptcy. I kept wishing I'd meet a good girl. At age 30 I found her. She's smart, attractive, can cook, etc... what most men are looking for. After 4 years of dating and increasing fighting we got married. We barely survived the honeymoon as she got extremely upset after she caught me looking at another woman on the street. We moved forward anyway and actually moved to another state where we are building a house now. I was recently diagnosed with ADD which can explain some of my habits that annoy her so much that we fight every other day. I'm a very go-with-the flow person and she's the opposite-organized, analyzing, etc... I'm trying to get better but I can attribute only so much to ADD. Her constant criticism and nit-picking and my cold replies are pushing us to the brink. How do you know when you just aren't right for each other?

I was hoping to get a reply. How do you know when you're just not right for one another? How long do you try to "change" before you know it's not working? Is it me? Will it be different with someone else? I'm just tired of the fighting. I'm driving this woman crazy by just being me and I don't know if I should set her- and me- free, ie:divorce. I don't want her to have a miserable life. One day we're shopping for a refrigerator and the next day she "hates" me and wishes she never met me". I want this roller coaster to stop. Three counselors and a priest and not much has changed. When do you quit?

It sounds like my life, including the ADD.
I can now say that my X must have been putting his best foot forward in the dating scene and then decided to stop being that person once we were married. His farce must have been difficult to maintain. And I did see signs, but ignored them due to love.
Are you doing the same? Are you doing the same things you did while you were dating to attract your wife? Are you meeting her emotional needs? If so, she'll want to meet yours.
Read the concepts on the site and decide if you want to make the changes to make your M work.
When people marry, we have expectations. Perhaps she expected you to be responsible, and you expected her to forget all of your faults.
Only you can identify and fix what is wrong - hopefully with communicating with your spouse.

Thanks for replying Newly. My wife saw the signs while dating but said that she had hope because I told her I'll try harder and I did, at least in my mind, but it still doesn't seem to be good enough. I know I'm a little crazy but in a good way. The ADD issues like impulsiveness, forgetfulness, etc... are driving my wife crazy and at age 35 I don't know if it's all ADD or because I'm still immature. Thank God we have no kids yet. I work from home making 6 figures so at least finances aren't an issue but I still get called "lazy, stupid, etc...." We are also far apart on where we want to live, West Coast vs. East Coast and career changes down the road which just make us both question if we are right for each other. We have bad communication and yes she expected me to be more responsible and mature and says I haven't stepped-up to the plate. Why can't she just loosen-up a bit? Do opposites really attract?