Looks like me and my wife of 6 years are headed down the road to divorce... We have been separated for 8 weeks now and it looks like its over...My wife is very into her work and she started traveling a few years ago.. This caused posed a big problem for me... We have 2 children and I would have to stay at her parents house while she was gone for child care reasons.. Also when she started this new job she started talking about her boss non stop... He was everything she wanted to be young, sucessful, made alot of money... I got tired of listening to her talk about another man.... Well now she has moved on to another job and has stopped traveling.... But when she started this job she started talking about another guy she worked with... I became very suspicious of this.. At the same time she became very protective of her cell phone... One day I walked throught the kitchen and saw her phone on the counter... Well one thing led to another and while she was sleeping on the couch I looked in her phone... She had a text page for the guy saying "I love you".. I was heart broken... I confronted her about it and she said it was not what you think... They were just really good friends... I have had a really hard time with this... She said she does love him but not like she loves me... He is just a really good friend.. He filled the space that I did'nt ( meaning he supported her in work and school when I did'nt).. I knew deep down inside that someting was going on she started going out on the weekends and was staying out till like 1am... During this time she go close to him and almost kissed him but did'nt (she said)... She said was just a moment of uncomfortable silence where someting like that happens.. They both looked at each other and stopped themselves... I told her that she had to separate herself from that situation.... I did not take this very well I have been hateful to her and not treated her like I should... But she continues to go out and hang around with this guy a a large group of people from her job... We gone through 2 counseling sessions and made alittle progress.. But like i said she still continues to go out with them.... I have said something about me coming along just too meet them and she son't allow it... She said she need to have her own seperate life and she does not see why its necessary for me to meet them...They are her friends not mine... Things have gotten really bad in the last week.. I talked to her parents about the whole situation and she hates me for that but I felt that them needed to know what was going on... Things had gotten uncomfortable between me and her parents because they thought the only reason I was mad about her going out was becuase I was just jealous and controlling... She said she was done and wanted a divorce because I did'nt trust her and she did'nt trust me... Im at a loss.. I have done everything I can do to try and work this out..But it takes 2 and I feel like she is not trying....... This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through...I could go on and on but im tired of typing and it makes me upset ti think about this.... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Texas---you have every right to question your wife's "social" life. And also, two friends of different genders do not say I love You if they are only friends. She may be just having an emotional affair but that type is just as leathal as a physical affair. You are separated for a very short time and I think, it is hard to know for sure the path your marriage will take.

You really need to go to General Questions section and start to learn the about the fog, emotional needs, love busting, Plan A & B. Your wife may be just a flirt who thinks the grass is greener on the other side OR you may not be tuned into her emotional needs. Whatever is the problem, you need to gain the wisdom to make healthy, loving decisions.

Please read Dr Harlsy's articles and especially his book, Surviving an Affair. As things come to the light, you have to know how to handle them and if there is a chance to save your marriage down the road, you can work toward that. Your children need some help with this too so the more you learn, the more you can help them.

You are in a very painful place.....more pain than one person can bear alone so you need support from those who understand. I understand your pain.....I have lived in it and it is truly unbearable at times. After trying everything, my chances of staying married become very dim. I had to learn that and it helped me to move on but one has to try to redirect the drowning tide first. If your marriage ends, you want to walk away with no regrets and be able to say I tried my best to save it.

You are on a tough road but there is lots of help here and lots of wisdom. Divorcing/Divorced section is probably not the best place for you right now.

TW

You are right to question the "friendship". I have had a very similar issue with my wife only she seems to have chosen someone with even less drive than I have. Be careful I know it is hard to trust her and give her space but I is worth it in the end. It feels much better heading into a divorce knowing you are being honest with yourself and her (you don't wnat to have to hide things from her for any reason) I have had to hide my activity on this board from her because I really don't think she could handle it right now. I really find it sad that a grown woman like your wife can do this to her husband and children it is just sad. I hope some thing here can help. If it does not there are many others here that are more skilled than I.

Thanks for the information...Im fairly new here and was not sure where to post my story... I understand 2 months is not very long but I have never done this before and it seems like an iterinty... Its really hard when over at the house and the kids ask why I have to leave... But thanks for the advise I will post in the other section