Seven months on…Although I’m still adjusting to this post M life, most of the drama of 2004 seems to have shifted in my favor. I’m starting a business and my family/friends have been super supportive. I’ve even met a lady who thinks I’m the greatest thing since Macaroni met Cheese.

Seven months on…her medical practice is bleeding so much money, she may file for bankruptcy. Her engagement to OM may stretch into eternity b/c neither she nor her can afford his moving to this city (he has alimony and child support—wife left HIM for OM-I’ll never get his repeating this cycle). In fact, she is beginning to stray from THAT relationship.

Yet… the question on everyone’s lips is the same: “What will happen WHEN your xW returns?” Not ‘if’ ‘When’. This’ foregone conclusion’ has begun to affect how people relate to me; no one want to get too close b/c they don’t want to get hurt when the ‘inevitable’ occurs.

Sure, I still miss Her, or at least what she was at one time (is that commitment, delusion, attachment, or what?). Yet she’s the same WxW who had 2 A’s during our 13 year M, who a year ago this month left me in a psych unit to fly to her OM, who fogged my/her family and colleagues into believing I was an psychotic A-hole (hence my continuing job struggles). I don’t want the Hell she currently produces, yet the shadow she casts is long.

My question is this: How long will this foggy woman affect my life? Anyone else have this problem? How do you deal?

<small>[ March 18, 2005, 10:00 AM: Message edited by: dleightonc ]</small>

I feel your pain. My wife asked for a D then just played games with me for a while. I ended up attemting suicide and landed in a hopsital. Only then did she file for the D. On top of that she also got a family protection order. I only wish I could avoid her. I hope that my story will be simila to yours after the D as well. She has fogged everybody in to the point where I just don't know who my friends are anymore.

My opinion only: you have to do what I've had to do:
whenever she calls or runs into you and wants to talk, you have to tell her, "I have nothing to talk to you about. I am NOT interested in anything you have to say. Please go away and do not speak to me again."
repeat the above as many times as necessary.
She has already shown you and everyone else she is interested in LYING to everyone about you, can't speak the truth, and left you for someone else, and when that bombs, comes back to you. Sloppy Seconds? I think not.
it's your choice.
again, only my opinion and what I would do.
SDLOM

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sauron Lord Of Mordor:
<strong> My opinion only: you have to do what I've had to do:
whenever she calls or runs into you and wants to talk, you have to tell her, "I have nothing to talk to you about. I am NOT interested in anything you have to say. Please go away and do not speak to me again."
repeat the above as many times as necessary.
She has already shown you and everyone else she is interested in LYING to everyone about you, can't speak the truth, and left you for someone else, and when that bombs, comes back to you. Sloppy Seconds? I think not.
it's your choice.
again, only my opinion and what I would do.
SDLOM </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How does that attitude (with which I currently am inclined to agree) jibe with Faith?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dleightonc:
<strong> How does that attitude (with which I currently am inclined to agree) jibe with Faith? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Titus 3:10-11 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

Romans 16:17 - Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. Taken from TKJV of The Bible. To me this 'jibes with Faith' at least MY own Faith in God and The Bible. This woman is someone who has repeatedly lied and caused great strife and division regarding you - she is a troublemaker and as such, really does not deserve your attention - she's shown that she is not interested in you at all, nor does she hold her Marriage Vows sacred, but wants to chase other men.
Those things, to me at least - are just cause to leave her alone and not waste any time on her - unless you happen to be a glutton for more punishment. You have children. Deal with her ONLY in respect since she is the other parent.
Like I said - this is only my opinion and how I would deal with it. It is how I dealt with my now ex-Wife and how I continue to deal with her. And now that both our children are grown and out of her house, there is no reason whatsoever for me to ever speak to her again.
To me, it's like a hornets nest - I got stung, therefore, I stay away from it.
Harold