I hate to keep putting posts on here every day, but it seems when there are more than a few replies to a post, it stops getting responses. So, I am posting another thread!! Before D-day, my W and I both worked, but since she moved out about 3 mos. ago, I am the sole provider for the family. She still has a checkbook and buys whatever she wants within reason. Is it within the bounds of a Plan A to let her keep the money and be loving about it, or take away all support since she wants to possibly end our marriage anyway? I can go either way, I just didn't know if that would help reality to set in, since she has no other way to support herself except through me. We, kids and I, are by no means well off, we just make ends meet right now, but would be easier if we did have some extra that we don't have now. Please advise.<BR>Floored

If you can afford it:<P>Plan A = supportive<BR>Plan B = no contact<P>If you're going for Plan A, I'd either not mention the issue, or perhaps bring it up in a reasonable fashion. You could establish your own checking account and deposit *most* of the money in that, and give your wife an allowance similar to what she's spending now. That'd prevent her from cleaning your accounts out.<P>If money is really tight, you might mention it to her and try to use the POJA to come to an agreement. No lovebusting!!

That sounds reasonable and I will continue to support her. My wife read some of "Surviving an Affair", and as far as POJA is concerned, she thought that was a ridiculous agreement. She said that she would still be able to manipulate the situation to where she would still get her way! No getting through to her right now...logic is nonsense!! Thanks K.

floored,<P>wow. your love for your wife and persistence at keeping your marriage together amazes me. i don't think i could do all that you are doing and then support her when she is thinking she wants to leave. my heart and prayers go out to you and your children. they are so very lucky to have a father like you. and they will remember it one day when they are older. i was raised by a single dad, and they are the best. <P>i do think though that if you are going to do plan A then it will be counterproductive to take away her money. but i liked the idea of a separate checking acct for you so that you just deposit what she needs for the basic necessities, like an allowance. she could get a job and help out since you are raising the kids and supporting her.<P>anyway, take care. you seem to be a truly nice guy and your wife is silly to even think of trading you in. in the end though if she choses the OM, she will have lost big time. <P>happy_girl

<BR>floored,<P>There's a dance between Plan A and exposing yourself to some nasty legal consequences in the event of an impending divorce. She could use the support you're providing now as evidence of intent to support her, and thus gain an advantage in arguing for alimony.<P>Personally, I'd end the support. I realize this could be a lovebuster, but at some point you need to watch your own back.<P>Bystander