I went to my singular counseling sesson this morning,felt good,left and came home to get checkbook to grocery shop.<BR>Well I was stopped at a redlight and was in right turning lane,in the lane, next to me, going straight,there she was! I realized it was her bcuz she was blowing her car horn! <P>When I looked to see who it was she put down car window nearest me! She was saying something but I don't know what! I got so scared...My whole being was shaking.. the light changed and I quickly made my turn and I saw her in my rearview mirror go straight.<P>"Ok! Get a hold of yourself",I was thinking.<BR>I was at store in 2 minutes still shaking.I got a "grip" and got out and went in.<P>On my way out,I turned around to see HER walking in parking lot with 1 bag! I had at least 10....I ran w/buggy and opened door and literally threw my groceries in. I got in and started to leave and saw her right behind me pulling out of lot!<P>She followed me 1/2 mile and as we neared intersection I was trying to decide which lane to get in to get away. I decided to turn.(we live in same area about 3/4 mile away from her).<P>WRONG CHOICE! she got in straight ahead lane ,again right next to me. She blew her horn and was screaming,HEY!!! HEY!!! with the window down closest to me. I pretended not to hear her.The light stayed red for what seemed an eternity.Her carrying on whole time.<BR> <BR>I came home and put down garage door and called my husband. He left work and came home.It's what he said that bothers me. He said if she bothers you one more time we'll call the police. I guess I expected him to say,"let's get restraining order" but he didn't. He hugged me and said we're strong together,Deb. Don't let her scare you honey. If it happens again I will go with you to police. You did the right thing by not responding.<BR>I said "I was scared,Bobby. She would kill me if she sat on me!(me being a little over 100 lbs.)He smiled and we laughed. I took one of my anti-anxiety pills and am calm now.<P>What this means is : She turned around in the first place to find me.<P>She NEVER shops at store I was at bcuz when we were friends she would say "How can you go to that store? It's so old and dirty?"<BR>I would always say,"It's old, but not dirty!"<BR>I love it bcuz it has tons of speciality Italian things you can't get anywhere else.<P>I know she knew I was going there! It's the only place I could be going when I made that 1st right turn. There is nothing else up that way.<P>We go to together counseling session Friday morning.<BR> Does it seem he was "protecting" her by telling me to see if there's a next time?<P>Any opinions? Then HER car is where 90% of sex took place in bar parking lots....I got flooded with thoughts of my H being naked w/her in that car.(only other place was living room steps so they could keep a "look-out"at her house.Never in bed heh...heh...<P> Debi<P>ps She did not look one bit pregnant...<BR>------------------<BR>Imagine....<p>[This message has been edited by gemini1 (edited December 13, 2000).]

gemine1, I would get restraining order right away you dont need your husband to get one. Do you have little ones? This is scrary. I liked the part about her sitting on you we always seem to fine humor. I think that why were survivors. with love flowerseed<P>------------------<BR>Carol Ann

Gemini,<P>Well, speaking from experience, I don't feel that your H was necessarily protecting the OW. We had MANY cases where we just ignored the OM( he lived about 300 ft from our house), and actually called the military police twice. The first time, I filed a harassment charge(that went no where) on him. I had told him to his face, through the screen door, that I didn't want to have anything to do with him, and that I wanted him to leave. Since he didn't leave till I said I was calling the cops, they went ahead and filed the charge. The second time, we didn't say anything to him, closed the door, and locked it, and called the cops again. They told us that since we didn't have any verbal or physical contact, they couldn't do anything. Of course we found out later that that was a load of crock!! I would just relax for now, and if it happens again, then definately call the police then. Do you have a cell phone? If you feel that insecure, you might think of getting an inexpensive one, just to have with you for emergencies like that. If it continues, definately get a TRO(temp restraining order), and file for a permanent one.<P>Tigger<P>

gemini1, Iam back had to pick up child I would tell husband how you feel. I think he probly feels bad about causeing this. Only he can answer that I would ask. I have to go again little one is bugging me. with love flowerseed<P>------------------<BR>Carol Ann

Hey Flowerseed and Tigger,<BR> I think the cops would say unless she actually HARMED me there is nothing they can do.<BR>This I remember from a highschool incident w/my son(aren't boys great?)and a kid who did things to him, like playing " chicken" with him in school parking lot.(drive his car real close to my sons then turn away real quick),also yelling profanity. We were told without him being on our property and/or a witness it was my sons word against his. Well my kid ended up "kicking" kid's car out of frustration and kid's parents brought us to court to pay for damages.<BR>I remember Michael telling of all that was going on and judge telling him,"Son, in this world people can and will call you names, and yell at you. You may not "act" upon that or you'll be right back here" "If someone hits you FIRST and provokes you that way,then you can claim self defense and bring him/her to court" <P>Same thing here? Her word against mine? I feel better and safe now, but when it happened I WAS SCARED....<P>Yes, I have a cell phone. I wasn't even thinking of using it....I just wanted to be home.<P>The humor of "her sitting on me and killing me " did make us both laugh. He's called 2 times since and said "Are you ok?" and "Don't worry hon" and the best was.....don't cook,I'll order us a pizza later! yipee! <P>Now I guess I don't care what she wanted. It was my first encounter. I'll be calmer next time.<P>In my haste I forgot to say Father Bliss this very session warned me about this kind of thing happening.He said when she actually sees his truck back here it may infuriate her. Ok Thanks guys. Debi<P>I can't wait for pizza! I crave starch while having "p.m.s." heh....heh....<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

<BR>gemini1 writes:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>(drive his car real close to my sons then turn away real quick),also yelling profanity.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>This could be construed as assault with a deadly weapon.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I remember Michael telling of all that was going on and judge telling him,"Son, in this world people can and will call you names, and yell at you. You may not "act" upon that or you'll be right back here" "If someone hits you FIRST and provokes you that way,then you can claim self defense and bring him/her to court"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>This is a widely held myth. You do not have to actually let someone hit you to invoke an affirmative self-defense. For instance, police officers do not have to let a criminal shoot first if the police officer faces a threat to his/her life.<P>Bystander

I woul definately keep track of dates & time, etc. If anything ever did occur later you would need to know what & when & where first time occured. I would want it "on the record" that this happened. Guess that is why I would report it, even if nothing happened today. At least later if she started trouble you would have this as reference to prior history. <P>But you never know... she may have been wanting to appologize (ha ha). You never can tell. If OW called me tonight I am sure I would not take it as a friendly gesture. Oh well, watch out for your self... always. It just pays to be safe & keep cell phone handy & know how to dial police. <P>Take care... Carolyn <BR>

Update: We were eating pizza and I said ,"I appreciate you calling to check in on me today, I was just so upset. She actually had to go straight (1st meeting)and turn around to come back to where I turned and continue to follow me to the store"<P>He said,"I don't want you to be afraid or ashamed to go anywhere. When she had her window down you should have put down your window and yelled back "What do you want, you whore?"She better not do another thing or our life will be on dateline!"<P>I told him to calm down. I'm sure he's frustrated.<P>I plan on keeping a record and plan to call police tomorrow. Thanks,Taking Care.<P>Oh Bystander,no one ever told us about "assault with deadly weapon. At that time both boys were suspended for a day and promised to behave in future.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>This is a widely held myth. You do not have to actually let someone hit you to invoke an affirmative self-defense. For instance, police officers do not have to let a criminal shoot first if the police officer faces a threat to his/her life.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Bystander<P>Thanks for insight....I copy and pasted it for future reference.<P> Debi<BR><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear Gemini,<P>It must be horrible! My father died as a result of the witch OP.<P>I think it is a good idea to carry a handy cam with you - the sort with an easy to hold grip and big screen so you can hold and shoot and not have to peep through a tiny hole - and film the maniac when she yells and pulls alongside you. Surprise her and film her at her nastiest so that she is unprepared.<P>I would suggest having the police or restraining order is very important. A restraining order is more useful and effective and proactive, I think.<P>God bless and keep you<BR>take care<BR>from weep<P>

Good reply Weep. I put a call in to my lawyer today to see which is the best route to go. I told my H I'm not going to sit idle and let her do anything she wants. They've done enough, thankyou.....<P>He agreed!<BR> Hey, do ya think she was trying to get my attention to say she was sorry? ha...ha...<P> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear Gemini,<P>Maybe, she wants to be invited over for Christmas and wants to know what you would like her to bring, hee hee.<P><BR>Do you know that the witch OP called my family and pretended to want to buy my baby a present and had my family desribed on different occasions all my entrances and exit points at our house and how to get pass security! It used different identities each time. Later, it decided to become vicious when it couldn't get into my home - to say Congratulations? ha ha, too.<P>Love<BR>weep

gemini1, Oh that has to be it hahahaahahah. I wonder if any of them ever do say there sorry. Hey do ya think you can get a wide enough camera you might have to be a mile away just to fit her in . with love flowerseed

HA! HA! HA! HA! Christmas invite? HA! HA~<P>Wide angle camera? HA! HA! HA! OH! You guys are too funny.....<P>We also have security camera and video running 24 hrs. We had it a long time though.<BR>We don't have a mansion but,people were having cars stolen aroud here a few yrs. ago so we put one in.<P>Geeze desperate people take desperate measures!<P> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....