Today when my H dropped off the kids he asked me if he could come home soon. He said he doesn't belong where he is and that he belongss at home with me and the kids. He said that he knows for sure that he doesn't love the OW anymore than he would a good friend and thathe loves me. He apologized over and over for what he has done to us. He said he knows that OW kind of used him as her way out of the situation she was in. I told him that I want him to wait awhile to be sure of how he feels because I can't go throught this again and neither can the kids. He agreed, he told me that he has done alot of soul searching and relizes that alot of his restlessness and being unhappy started when his best friend died. I knew that, I guess I should have been a little more attentive to his feelings than I was.<BR>I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch but maybe now we can start to rebuild again. Wish me luck.<P>Jill

That is good to hear. I think it is important that he realized the connection with his best friend dying.

Hey, girl, well, you already know I'm excited. Take it slow. You set the pace, you set the guidelines. You have all the tools now, between the other things on the site and the wisdom you've gotten from this forum. I know you guys can work together to make this marriage wonderful again. I'm just waiting (ok, more like hoping) for the day that I hear those words "I want to come home" instead of "maybe I should come home."<P>I know you can do it! I'll be praying for you all. <P>Lori

CorW -<P>Well, this is wonderful!!!! I'm so happy (and envious!!) for your whole family.<P>Just take it slow.....You have an opportunity to put the tools from Dr. Harley to use so do it!!! Lead your H through the Emotional needs, communication, and all the other knowledge you have gained. This is your chance to make sure that your communication skills will improve to the point that anything like this need not ever cross your paths again.<P>Good Luck with it and hey, who knows, maybe you can bring him here if you so choose!! <P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Hi Jill,<BR>Sorry it took me so long to get to you. <BR>I am SOOOOOOOO Happy for you and your family. I too, am envious. You and your family deserve this. You have done such a great job at handling yourself with grace in this awful situation. I am proud of you.<BR>I do think that you need to take is slow, one step at a time. I know that you have learned a lot of valuable things here. Use them. Your marriage will thrive.<BR>Take care. Let us know how things are going.<P>Love,<BR>Cheryl

I am so pleased for you but I just want to give you a word of caution. You are right to ask your Husband not to come home right away. Let him spend some time alone to figure out his feelings for sure. My Husband said all the right things to me, eg asked for forgiveness, said he realised this OW and he could never have a relationship, begged me to take him back, was sorry etc and 3 weeks later was gone again. He says now that I should not have let him come back right away, so heed my warning please. Only let him back when you and he are sure and he is showing lots of signs and willing to work on your marriage 100%. Good luck and I do hope it works out well.

Thank you everybody. I'm pretty scared right now. I know that I love him and I even think that I have for the most part forgiven him but yet I'm scared of what I might feel in the coming months. That too is why I want him to wait yet until we both have our feelings sorted out so that when and if he comes home it is for good. I finally slept good for the first time last night in along time. I think I always new he would come home sooner or later. <BR>Anyway thanks much for all you have done to help me through this. I'm sure I will cont. to need all of your wisdom and guidance yet in the coming months.<P>Love,<P>Jill