HI EVERYONE,

THIS IS A WONDERFUL SITE AND YOU ALL ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE. THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME AS I TELL MY STORY.

IT BEGAN IN 1994 WHEN I GOT MARRIED TO MY CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART. IT WAS A DREAM COME TRUE BUT NOBODY EXPLAINED TO ME THAT THERE IS NO HAPPILY EVER AFTER! HE WAS A WORKAHOLIC AND NEEDLESS TO SAY I FELT IGNORED AND ABANDONED. HE WOULD PUT HIMSELF OUT OF THE WAY TO HELP OTHERS, AND DO A GREAT JOB. BUT FOR HIS FAMILY, EVERYTHING WAS MEDIOCRE. THAT HURT BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL 2ND BEST AND NOT IMPORTANT. NOW I AM NOT ONE TO HIDE MY FEELINGS SO WE WERE ALWAYS IN DISCUSSION ABOUT THIS. HE JUST GAVE ME THE BRUSH OFF AND SAID 'MECHANICS HAVE THE WORST CAR'. YOU KNOW TRYING TO JUSTIFY HIS BEHAVIOUR.

I LIVED WITH IT. IN THE MEANTIME WE HAD TWO KIDS. HE ADORED THEM AND THEY HIM. HE CONFESSED TO ME THAT A FEW YEARS AGO HE HAD AN AFFAIR. ITS OVER NOW, AND I BELIEVED HIM. I DIDN'T HOLD IT AGAINST HIM, AT LEAST HE WAS HONEST. HOWEVER, LAST DECEMBER HE WENT ABROAD FOR A DRAMA FESTIVAL WITH A FEMALE TEACHER AND THE SCHOOL DRAMA GROUP FOR A WEEK. WHEN HE CAME BACK I NOTICED ON MY COMPUTER A PICTURE OF THE FEMALE TEACHER PARTLY NUDE ON THE BEACH. A PICTURE THAT HE HAD ALTERED FOR FUN HE SAID. (HE REMOVED THE BOTTOM HALF OF THE BATHSUIT AND DREW HER GENITALIA) NOW I OF COURSE BECAME SUSPICIOUS AND CONFRONTED HIM WITH THIS. HE HAD JUST SPENT A WEEK WITH THIS PERSON AND WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED. HE DENIES HAVING AN AFFAIR BUT I DON'T BELIEVE. BECAUSE HE GOT INVOLVED WITH THIS PERSON AGAIN IN ANOTHER PROJECT WORKING CLOSELY WITH HER UNTIL 4 IN THE MORNING AT TIMES. I FELT HE WAS BEING VERY INCONSIDERATE WE HAD A CONFRONTATION AND I THREW HIM OUT. BUT WE WORKED IT OUT AND HE CAME BACK THE NEXT DAY. BUT SOMETHING CHANGED WITHIN ME. I DIDN'T FEEL THE SAME ABOUT HIM ANYMORE. I THINK THAT WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK. I HAD ENOUGH OF HIS FLIRTING, STAYING OUT LATE AT NIGHT CLUBS WHILE I'M HOME WITH THE KIDS, NOT CALLING TO SAY HE WAS ALRIGHT, NOT BELIEVING IN GOD ANYMORE, AND PUTTING ME DOWN SO MUCH.

RECENTLY, THOUGH I HAVE STARTED TO DEVELOP FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE BUT I HAVE NOT ACTED ON THEM AND DO NOT PLAN TO. MY LIFE IS TORTURE NOW. I DON'T SEE THE USE OF STAYING TOGETHER ANYMORE FOR I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE. I FEEL SO STRESSED OUT AND HE NOTICES IT AND NOW AND ONLY NOW AT THE BREAKING POINT DOES HE WANT TO TRY TO MAKE IT WORK. BUT I'M REALLY NOT INTERESTED. THE ONLY THING HOLDING ME HERE IS MY KIDS. THEY ARE 7 AND 2 AND ITS HARD TO THINK OF BREAKING UP THE FAMILY. GOD, EVERYDAY SEEMS HARDER THAN THE OTHER ONE. I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. I JUST NEED SOME SUPPORT. I FEEL SO LOST, SO UNHAPPY, SO MISERABLE. HAS ANYONE BEEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION?

THANKS FOR LISTENING.

dj,

Welcome to the forum. This board practically gets no traffic and you really need some support right now. GQII would be a good place to get some good help. You are extrememly vulnerable to an affair. Are you and your husband getting counseling? Have you read the stuff on the site about rebuilding love. "Surviving an Affair" needs to be on your reading list pronto. Part of the reason that you aren't feeling love for your husband, started out as resentment over his latest affair....but now....it's probably your feelings for this new man. Please be very careful or you will be dealing with your own affair instead of just his. How about copying this post over to GQ.....if you need help doing that.....let me know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by star*fish:
<strong>dj,

Welcome to the forum. This board practically gets no traffic and you really need some support right now. GQII would be a good place to get some good help. You are extrememly vulnerable to an affair. Are you and your husband getting counseling? Have you read the stuff on the site about rebuilding love. "Surviving an Affair" needs to be on your reading list pronto. Part of the reason that you aren't feeling love for your husband, started out as resentment over his latest affair....but now....it's probably your feelings for this new man. Please be very careful or you will be dealing with your own affair instead of just his. How about copying this post over to GQ.....if you need help doing that.....let me know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know your exact feelings. I am in the same situation (I'm male), however, my two boys are grown. I still will not leave my wife because she is not prepared to care for herself. Maybe someday. I would say for the sake of the kids, if the abuse stops to hang in there, if not get out.
posted by stjoseph46:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by star*fish:
<strong>dj,

Welcome to the forum. This board practically gets no traffic and you really need some support right now. GQII would be a good place to get some good help. You are extrememly vulnerable to an affair. Are you and your husband getting counseling? Have you read the stuff on the site about rebuilding love. "Surviving an Affair" needs to be on your reading list pronto. Part of the reason that you aren't feeling love for your husband, started out as resentment over his latest affair....but now....it's probably your feelings for this new man. Please be very careful or you will be dealing with your own affair instead of just his. How about copying this post over to GQ.....if you need help doing that.....let me know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"></strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

thanks so much for the support. I really need it . I will take your advice and go to the other boards and read more on surviving an affair before things get totally out of hand. I'll keep in touch.

luv you guys