(former name "IT THE SOUTH"<BR>Hello everyone - <P>My H and I live in South Carolina. He will be going to court on May 2.<BR>Questions for anyone that can offer help, understanding and support.<BR>1. Can a wife go the court meeting or is it only for parents of OC?<P>2. Since OW did not have DNA test done until March of this year, do you think that H will have to pay back support because OW did not do what she was suppose to do?<P>3. OW has been calling home at least twice a day for several days, she has called our D a B***h because D ask her name (D do not know who she is even if she hears the name)I started to call her and give her several pieces of my mind, but decided to let H handle it. H was upset, but decided not to call or go to her house. H decided to deal with it in court. I did not want to block number because of oc's but last night I decided to block number--not I feel guilty about it and I feel that we shouldn't have to change our number or hide<BR>Question #3 - Does anyone know of any legal rights when it comes to ow calling our home?<BR>H currently does not work and forever I have been caring insurance on the family.<BR>Please pray for me, H and D's.<BR>Desperately need input!<BR>G&P

Dear G & P,<P>I'm in NC, and can only tell you what I've learned so far about NC...<P>1. Not sure...we haven't gone to court yet. However, I did go to mediation with him for support. I sat in the waiting room w/ ow's father. It is the parent's right to decide who can or can not be included in mediation. <P>2. In NC, the back child support starts adding up once the child support papers are filed, not paternity test done. If she wanted child support from before the papers were filed, the mother would have to prove what expenses she incurred before receiving/requesting support.<P>3. I like your H idea of handling the harrassing calls in court, but he may need proof. In the meantime, I would certainly keep her number blocked. In NC, they have a service called 'Privacy Directory'. Not sure if it's in SC yet. However, the number not only shows up on caller id, but the person on the other end is told that the number is private, and if they'd like for their call to be accepted by us, they must either state their name, or press a button to display their number....I LOVE IT!!! I haven't had one hang up call in months!<P>You may want to call your local phone company about legal rights regarding harrassing calls.<P>Philippians 4;4-7<BR>Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transceds all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.<BR>I included this, because I know what it's like to worry. But you know the saying...if you're gonna pray, don't worry...if your're gonna worry, don't pray.

Mat.6:14-15<P>Thanks for your post.<P>Philippians 4;4-7 has touch my heart. I needed that! With the Lords help, I will put my worries on the alter---let go and let GOD handle it.<P>Eventhough today is not over, we have not had any calls from ow. I do know that our telephone company do have a call trace service and call block, which tell the person calling from the number blocked that that number is not taking their calls.<P>I sometime wonder why ow is so rude or attudeish. On the DNA papers, saw picture of ow and oc's, she was not a "happy camper".<BR>We are trying to save and buy a house and don't want this to stop us.<BR>Thanks<BR>G & P<BR>

Glory,<BR>I'm not sure what the laws are in your state, but here in the "wonderful" (HA) Sunshine State they are crappy. We went to court last week. <BR>1. I was NOT allowed to go in the room with H and OW. (They had to sit next to each other.ewwwwww) And when we got there the lady asked me if I was HER! I said H*LL NO!<BR>2. We got results of DNA testing 2 months ago and are responsible for $7000.00 back CS. I have no idea where that figure came from. She's only a year old. How expensive can she be. My son doesn't even cost that much and he's 6 months old.<BR>3. As to her calling. Way to go!! I would have done the same thing. Actually, I have 3 times. Now she finally quit calling.<BR>

hi glory&praise!<P>i have a feeling it doesn't matter when she got DNA test done. in our case, she didn't even <I>file</I> until the child was almost 3. she is now almost 4 and we are responsible for arrears from birth, which total almost $20,000. i hate to bring up the possibility of bad news, but we were just hit with this amount and i didn't think it would go back to birth since she waited so long to file. every state differs i guess, i hope it works out in your favor.<P>prayers for you in the upcoming court case. oh yah, in arizona, i could have gone to the hearing had i wanted but i couldn't because of work.<BR>happy_girl

Thanks H_G & J:<P>We are a little nervous concerning this. We are positive that things will work in our favor, even if it don't seem like it. (H has been paying money, we are looking for receipts now.)<P>I have gone to one of the websites that have beenlisted on this site.<P><BR>G&P<BR>I am so thankful for help from others here on the site.

In NY <BR>1) I was allowed to go into the room while the hearing was going on, but told by the court officer that I could not say anything. But sitting quietly, as hard as it was, was wonderful because I got to see the OP cry because she thought H would allow her OC to have his name. I got such pleasure from that.<BR>2) H was held responsible for back CS since the date of petition. It turned out to be $25/week for three years. I guess it's not as high as others because H does not make so much.<BR>3) OP was also calling H at work wanting to resume the a****r and she had the nerve to call my home and ask for me and leave an unpleasant message on our machine. H immediately filed for a temporary order of protection which she initially tried to fight, but then I guess she realized that it would be granted. It's only for a year but it buys a lot of healing time.<BR>I hope that this helps.<BR>

Thanks Tor......<P>It really has help me. We are just waiting for it to be over and done with.<BR>From looking at the papers, Dept. of Social Services is the one filing the papers.<P>God bless to everyone.

For some reason I was under the impression that SC was a very good state for BS. This may have just been due to the Alienation of Affection suit. Anyway... we didn't go to court. An agreement was struck with a moderator, who would not allow me to be there (really irritated me... since I was the one who found moderator in first place). We are obligated by state law to pay back support to date of birth. As to contact, OW has not called or contacted me. I am sure that you could get legal injunction on that and have OW contact a third party for all emergency issues (a preacher, lawyer, etc.). That would give her no need to call. She has NO LEGAL RIGHTS to contact your H. I can almost guarantee that. <P>Take care... Carolyn

Does anyone know what the laws are in texas? Please help. We will be moving in a couple of months, and I keep hoping that they go to trial before we leave, so that we can try to leave some of this behind us, and so that she (OW) doesn't get more.<BR>any help or information is appreciated

G and P,<BR>If someone doesn't give you a convenient link, you should still be able to find SC ch-support laws in an internet search. I don't know about SC, myself.<P>Goodluck!!<BR>J<BR>love that Philippines-thanks!

Thanks everyone,<P>The website i went to helped me, because I did not know that they use the ow salary. I was assumed that they only use the WS salary.<P>I am happy to say that things went ok. H has to only pay $168 his part of DNA testing and the attoney for DSS and the judge were trying to find a way for him not to pay that.<P>OW was late (2 1/2) H had already talked to J & A, so they heard his side of things before ow got there. I think that ow was hoping that H had left. (my way of thinking).<P>Since H is between jobs, they could not go for back support or support now and OW was reprimanded in court, so she said that she was working (which she is) and did not need any support for H for boys and she let them with him, so that he could spend some time with the boys. We are using ow aunt, that keep the boys, as the go-between.<P>As of yet we have no problems, but as we spend more time with oc's, we may experience some from ow.<P>God has blessed H and H knows it.<P>IVS when I find the websit address, I will get it to you, because it is by states.<P>G&P

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