I believe I am nearing the end of a Long Distance Relationship, 2,000 miles apart. We have known each other for over 2 years, and seeing each other exclusively and very seriously for over 1 year now. For various reasons, however, it is not going to work. It has been a very rewarding and special relationship, and I love her very much and I know she loves me even more, so this is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. If it's meant to be, we'll cross paths again, but for now, I'm afraid it needs to end.

I am not experienced in ending things in my 30+ years of age, only 1 serious one before, so I'm scared to witts end!

My dilemna, how to do it? I have always put others in front, so hurting her is the last thing I want to do. I am fearing even thinking of ending it. There are many good things about us. I always put others feelings and actions in front of mine. So How?

Do I write? I have always been very good at writing. It keeps my thoughts organized and more-so, allows me to put across all of my thoughts. During personal discussion (in person or voice), I tend to get side tracked and un-organized. However, I have been led that it is impersonal or rude to write a "Dear John" letter. If so, is email to impersonal, or do I hand write, type, etc.????

Do I call? This is more personal, but I can't imagine doing this, and as I said above, I'm not good at confrontation or speaking feelings very well.

In the past during serious confrontation, we have always written our thoughts via email or such to get things kicked off, then call afterwards, to work things out. This has worked very well, but this is different, there's nothing to work out. But I can't imagine sending a letter and boom, that's it, over, done...!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Do I visit? Our entire relationship has been long distance so very used to traveling. Would be very personal, but alot to take on (travel, $$$ for tickets, etc.) for ending something? I hope this one doesn't win the poll. But what a nasty thing to do. . . arrange a visit, which have always been very very positive and exciting, and Boom! "Sorry, I'm not here to see you, but to break up with you!" That seems wrong too.

I may want to keep somewhat friends at least to keep in touch via email or such every once in a while. I have practiced this with the very few of my past relationships and I know she has with her Ex's too, though I have also learned that this is very hard to do from the others' prospective when I initiate the end.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Hi mnk,
How about writing her a letter/email and posting it here for feedback before sending it? People who have been in that situation might be able to help you write it in a way that will ease the blow.
A letter might work if it is done right.

You never really say why you are all of the sudden ready to break it off. I'm sure you have reasons...maybe those reasons will play a role in how you should present them. For instance, if it's another woman, well...I wouldn't recommend the visit.

Smile

Thanks Smiley <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I have re-posted this in General Questions (see link below) for more viewing and hopefully more response.

I thought of listing reasons initially, but then decided not to. Since it would make a difference, as you pointed out, I've added them to my new/revised post.

First, No, not another woman. I am actually looking for a bit of opposite, time alone and to relax a bit, re-gather myself, etc. after what I'm coming off of. See other post, you'll see why. Hopefully it's clear enough there.

Thanks again, and please feel free to post again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

General Questions II - How to end it??

Click above to see new poll.
Thanks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />