<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by broken_wings:<BR><B>Dear Believe,<P>You do not need me or anyone else here to tell you if you are doing the "right thing". Only you can know what is right for you and your family. I know how difficult it is to make such decisions, but remember Rome was not built in a day and you do not have to make all the decisions now for the rest of your life. One step at a time. One day at a time. Or however much you can handle at a time..lol. Remember God will not give you more than you can handle. At least not more than you can handle without Him. Have you heard from H yet? How is it going?<P>Love and Prayers</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Hi, I am back, I did not hear from him the hold time I was out. I did not even try to contact him. So, It's like I said, he must have been angry with his wife. I am doing fine, still moving on with life. I will let you know when I her from him.<P><BR>

Believe,<BR>It sounds like you came here looking for some hope for your marriage and you got some pretty good advice! I hope you check into the legality of your divorce. It sounds like you know your (ex?)H pretty well, tone of voice and all. Relationships that start out adulterous don't usually survive the light of everyday reality, but I too would protect my heart after all he's put you through. I would love to hear the happy ending of a renewed marriage and family, but there's a whole lot of question marks in between. Look at the MB Principals and Harley's advice for dealing with your H... Look forward to hearing more~!<P>Prayers to you and Daughter,<BR>J

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jenny:<BR><B>Believe,<BR>It sounds like you came here looking for some hope for your marriage and you got some pretty good advice! I hope you check into the legality of your divorce. It sounds like you know your (ex?)H pretty well, tone of voice and all. Relationships that start out adulterous don't usually survive the light of everyday reality, but I too would protect my heart after all he's put you through. I would love to hear the happy ending of a renewed marriage and family, but there's a whole lot of question marks in between. Look at the MB Principals and Harley's advice for dealing with your H... Look forward to hearing more~!<P>Prayers to you and Daughter,<BR>J</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks Jenny for reading, Some days I feel that way of hopeless. As far as the divorce, I really do'nt think it is legal, but you no I first have to forgive him, and then asked the God to lead me in the right directions. Maybe I just cannot except the fact that he actually filed for divorce and then married this (I can not even give her a name). I do'nt see her as a women or lady at this point. I am really having a bad day. Everything has come back, and I am feeling sad. I muss him so much. My heart is hurting. Yes, I have heard that sometimes adulterous marriage don't last. <P>Jenny I really feel that I was not given a chance not only by my husband but me personally did not give my all. Each day I ponder with that. I am praying that God deliver me and whatever he has in store for me it is for me. If I can tell you that my ex-husband was so caring. loving, sensitive, and kind to me from beginning and they way he has acted for the past 2 years its like he was trying to hurt me. I can't really explaine what I am trying to say. <BR>When you love someone you love them with your heart, I did not fall in love with my husband because of the thing materalistic things he could do for me. But I prayed and asked God to send me someone that I could spend the rest of my life with. And really believe God blessed me with this man. But why was he so easily distracted from me?<P>Thank you for begin a listen ear. Before I close, I want to share this with you. I each day while riding home to pick up my daughter, I always listen to the last song that I can remember us begin together. (How Will I Live by LeAnn Rhimes). Am I punishing myself?<BR>

Hi Believe,<P>Yes I believe you are punishing yourself...I used to do that with Dixie Chicks...gosh now I cant remember the name of the song....OH "When You Were Mine". Talk about punishing!<BR>Then I moved on to the new Cher. And now it is Destiny's Child. Those are my self motivators. Try them and see.<BR>Gotta go and study..let me know how u are.<P>Love and Prayers,<BR>bw

When we hurt, we tend to pick at it, look at it, lick it... it's a wound!!! And you're picking at it like we all do. Not to trivialize your hurt, but to say I think your behavior in normal and natural.<P>And personally I think listening for God's voice in your life is incredibly wise. Sometimes we can't tell His will from our own, but it's sure worth trying for!!! I'm listenin' right there with ya!! <P>Angel wings around you,<BR>J<P>

Dear Believe I've been following your story. I had to jump in and say I began listening to BonJovi "It's My Life". Now there's a motivating song if I ever heard one!<P>Madonna's "Respect Yourself" and NSync "Bye, Bye, Bye" also helped me vent!!!!!!<P>Prayers work wonders. God WILL show you the path to follow. Just give HIM your problems each day. Bless you.<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear Believe, <P>First of all, hugs to you. I know how terrible things feel right now because your life is in such turmoil. As others have said, I don't have any answers or solutions to offer, but I do have some thoughts to share.<P>You need to focus on YOU and your daughter. Your H is clearly not able to make any reasonable decisions about his own life right now, much less his role as a H to you and a father to your daughter. I kmow we here are committed to marriage re-building, but I'm not really sure if you actually have a marriage what you can or even should try to re-build. Your H has put you through so much and has a lot of serious problems that he needs to face and solve. You cannot solve his problems, change him, or make him feel what you would like him to feel. In my view, he needs professional help to sort through all this.<P>You are punishing yourself by suffering the consequences of HIS actions. Please don't think I'm being cold or harsh. I feel the same way, at times, and have for the last 2 1/2 years since I found out about my H's affair and OC. Even though my H is trying to rebuild my love and trust, life is still very difficult for me much of the time. <P>I would not presume to tell you what to do at this point, but I do think you owe yourself and your child some peace and kindness. You are certainly not getting that from your H. The fact that he hasn't even seen his daughter after all this time says a lot about his sense of devotion as a H to you and father to your child. Are you sure you want to share the rest of your life with such a man?<P>I also have a strong faith in God and believe that there is a reason for all that has happened to us, even though only He knows that reason. I do not believe that God intends for all of us to remain in one-sided marriages when the devotion we feel is not returned to us. Sometimes I have thought that perhaps all this has been a test of faith for me....I don't know. But I do know that my faith is still strong, even if my marriage isn't, and if I choose to leave my marriage, God will be with me when I go.<P>Take care. You are in my prayers.<P>love, anniem

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by anniem:<BR><B>Dear Believe, <P>First of all, hugs to you. I know how terrible things feel right now because your life is in such turmoil. As others have said, I don't have any answers or solutions to offer, but I do have some thoughts to share.<P>You need to focus on YOU and your daughter. Your H is clearly not able to make any reasonable decisions about his own life right now, much less his role as a H to you and a father to your daughter. I kmow we here are committed to marriage re-building, but I'm not really sure if you actually have a marriage what you can or even should try to re-build. Your H has put you through so much and has a lot of serious problems that he needs to face and solve. You cannot solve his problems, change him, or make him feel what you would like him to feel. In my view, he needs professional help to sort through all this.<P>You are punishing yourself by suffering the consequences of HIS actions. Please don't think I'm being cold or harsh. I feel the same way, at times, and have for the last 2 1/2 years since I found out about my H's affair and OC. Even though my H is trying to rebuild my love and trust, life is still very difficult for me much of the time. <P>I would not presume to tell you what to do at this point, but I do think you owe yourself and your child some peace and kindness. You are certainly not getting that from your H. The fact that he hasn't even seen his daughter after all this time says a lot about his sense of devotion as a H to you and father to your child. Are you sure you want to share the rest of your life with such a man?<P>I also have a strong faith in God and believe that there is a reason for all that has happened to us, even though only He knows that reason. I do not believe that God intends for all of us to remain in one-sided marriages when the devotion we feel is not returned to us. Sometimes I have thought that perhaps all this has been a test of faith for me....I don't know. But I do know that my faith is still strong, even if my marriage isn't, and if I choose to leave my marriage, God will be with me when I go.<P>Take care. You are in my prayers.<P>love, anniem</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I no it sounds real stupid and even ridiculous that I still want a marriage with a man who abandon me as well as his own child. I believe in the power of prayer and I believe what ever happened, it happened for a reason. I guess I can truthfully say that I have not comes to grips with the fact that this OW destroyed my marriage. And the sad thing is I don't no how to feel towards her. I hate her some days and then there are days I asked the Lord to remove that angry from me. My life has been in such a uproar until I don't no how to feel anymore. I really can't describe what I am feeling right now. It's like if you cut me with a knife I want bleed. This is not normal for human that used to love to social events, be with my family and friends, cook dinners, BBQ, very active in church and smile and had kind words to say to everyone that pass my way. And now I cold, unconcern, hurt, cry constanly, no love, bitter, and just resolve to just living day today. <P>He makes(made) happy and now I really have little to smile about, until I see my baby. Enough of me.<P>What I want to say to you is hang in there. Marriage that last 25 to 45 years had there ups and downs, finacial problems, affairs, separations., etc. but the managed to survive. They hung in there and was determined to keep there marriage. A marriage is 2 people that became on, believing that God joined them together as one. If you one person hurt, the other one should hurt. Not all the time it happens like that. What I am trying to see. God test us for alot of reason, we go through storm so we can see that God can solve them. I no that it hurts to find about about your H having affair. If you trust God, God will build that trust back that you once had before with your H but you have to believe and want to recieve and most of trying to forget those things in the past. My prayer to you and your marriage that you stay in the storm until God gives you his answer, prayer mightly that God would restore your marriage, as your vows stated, in sickness and in health, to do death do you part. God does not honour divorce.<P>Keep in touch<BR>