CoR,<P>OH MY GOSH!!!!!!! I went to the other sites that you created the links to and I thought that I hadn't left this thread!!!!! Did you also notice that another one of her names was "Bonnie"?!?!?!?! She really needs to get a new life, because she is not living it up here. She has been found out, many times by you!!!!!<P>BonnieBB, Suzi, Kayla, Whoever you choose to be----<P>I will no longer reply to your posts as you are quite possibly the most irritating "crasher" we have had to date! I will enjoy laughing at your reasoning though, cause you don't have any sence left! If you did, in fact, get married, and your H slept around, and created another child, congradulations, you now know how it feels to be in someone elses shoes!!!(Though, I seriously doubt that is truly what happened.)<P>Thanks, CoR for showing us exactly who, or what this BonnieBB, Bonnie, Suzi, Kayla thing is!!<P>Tigger

Bonnieb, <BR>I am new to the board and read alot of the posts here. The thing of the matter is that both OW and H were irresponsible in having sex, knowing the outcome BUT if they both KNEW of the end result why shouldnt there be an equal end result whereas the father has the right to say if he is ready to be a father or not. The girls here are not disputing your claim that the H was just as irresponsible but they are saying that OW is just as selfish to insist child be brought into H life whether he likes it or not. Yeah I am very upset at H, but because OW has most say so whether or not to bring a child into the world, which is just as selfish then she is to blame AS WELL. THE OW DO IT OUT OF SPITE FOR THE MAN NOT LEAVING HIS HOME, AND OTHER CRAZY REASONS THAT DEAL WITH US AND H. THEY DO THAT FOR ATTENTION TO KEEP THE LIE GOING BETWEEN OUR H AND THEM. SO WHILE WE KNOW MEN WILL BE MEN, OW has ball in her court and therefore to me, has the control over this OC issue IF it exists.

Rerun some of it is word for word. Is this possibly a grown up oc. How very sad and please go get some help. <BR> flowerseed

Wow,... is all I can say. <P>Thanks COR for validating that there are a lot of people out there in cyber world that have more than a few screws loose. Very scarey in fact. Can you imagine them left alone with any sort of POWER. Yikes.<P>Z.<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Yes, she has been soooo many people, it's truly amazing. <P>She has been Jim, Jane, Heather, heatherr, amelia, sue, suzi, kayla, Dr. Eleanor, shikwanita, Dr. Josephine Washington (?!), Bonnie, Harvey... really, who knows how many others. Her stories include being the other woman, being the wife whose husband had an affair which produced a child, a wife whose husband had an affair who she divorced, and a serial cheater husband. <P>The creativity is amazing, but the motive is always the same. <P>Take care,<BR>CoR

I commend you people for putting up with a person such as bonnie, with the grace and class of a saint. I also am amazed at the support in which some of you are still trying to educate her. I came in here to read a post by quaker mom, and started to look around. WOW, is all I can say. God Bless you all that are dealing with this with strength and grace, no matter the decision that was best for your families.

Couple of Reasons,<P>What the heck board is that -- the links you provided?<P>Ick.

Nyneve,<BR> The links CoR provided were from <A HREF="http://www.affairs-help.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.affairs-help.com</A> The website of Emily Brown. She has written several books about affairs, has workshops and offers counseling.

I KNEW IT !!! Thank you COR for posting those links. Her language is the same the arguement is the same...her thoughts are the same.<P>If you recall, when I came to this board, I too was "put off" by the way the OC was viewed. BUT I was not defending the OW....I felt NOTHING for the OW, I was confused on what to do about OC, and view her as the innocent in a BIG adult<BR>BOO BOO, I did not know what to do about it, BUT as a VOLUNTEER for years, with Court appt children advocates, and<BR>March of dimes ( in prevention of child birth defects), not to mention being a full time mother, for 12 years. I feel and felt pain for these kids. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT???? we are not parenting these kids, the OW is, and she is no way the mother I am...she is not self sacrificing, nor does she feel<BR>the protected feeling you have for you own child....read Gemini post, with her OW coming up to her H at a gas station...."here's your daddy?"....how IS this healthy for a child??...it is not. Children need stablity, and love. It does not matter if it is one parent or two. it needs to be stable, and loving PERIOD. flashing a child or using them as a PON, is SICK. If any father is not in a childs life for any reason, it is the mothers responsiblity ( if she choses to raise them) to provide the stablity and Love...PERIOD. AND BONNIE/SUZI/KAYLA...whatever you multiple personailty person you are at the moment. These kids are a VERY small % (born to MM and the OW), there are a TON of children that fathers just vanish when they find out there GF's are pg. or Husbands who leave and dont support the children of a marriage...there are a ton of men like this....our situations, are the smallest %, and we are financially responsible...unlike all these others deadbeats<BR>you come to these boards, NOT on a cursade for OC...BUT for the OW, who got dumbed...(like you did)...you want to hurt the wife...or since you cant hurt YOUR MM wife...you want to get back at all the other wives..you can. This my dear<BR>speaking as a health professional, is very very sick, some of these women have no where to go except here, some of them cant afford counseling, and this is their counseling.<BR>Some chose NOT to involve their families, because they are rebuilding with there H's, and have become each others families. AND you come here pretending....I can say this if you read my threads you will see, I came here with the same view (not in suppport of the OW, but the OC), I did not take such a stance...I was actually in pain and confused...you claim to be...BUT your views are so concreate...and after reading the other threads that COR posted, your posts all read the same...but you are different people OW (which is what I thought you were)...you need to go now...I dont really belong in this thread, because the OW in my case....turned out to be just like you...a BIG Lair...and OC was not my H's...it was funny...how a 44 y/o got PG, for the first time after having sex a couple of times....she was already PG, and she wanted someone with money..to be the daddy...now she gets to figure a way to pay the money back....since the bumm of a real father cant be found...OH DEAR SHE AS TO GO BACK TO WORK....BOO HOO...this woman actually wanted a car like mine...because if my children could be in a nice car why not her child....she actually started to believe her own lies...but as soon as the blood test was done...she left the state...what was up with that?????...she is lucky we did not put her in jail...for fraud...and yes BONNIE we have fun here poking fun at OW (we never do OC)just the OW<BR>BUT these women intruded on our lives (yes Bonnie, with the help of our H's)...BUT we did not chose to marry OW...we did our H's, and we HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM...WE DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH OW...and we chose NOT too...and how we deal with our H's...is not your business, and NOT the OW business...and for the record...I do not plan A...my H has been in a living hell. for as you put..putting his thinging were it did not belong...MY H had what you would call a "one night stand"...not a relationship...and he has/is paying dearly...if he choses to leave me..because I am intolerable...so be it..I am strong...BUT I WILL BE VERY FINANCIALLY SET...My H built an empire..I was there every step of the way....so it is half mine...and I will take it.<BR>MY children will want for nothing...BUT I am telling you as a mother..if this would affect my children "standard of living"...I would be plan A'ing my brains out..I would do whatever not to disrupt my kids in any way shape or form...BECAUSE I AM A GOOD MOTHER AND THEY COME FIRST..NOT MY EGO..not my pride...who cares about that junk...has nothing to do with self esteem, it has to do with self sacrifice..and I would do it..whatever...for my kids...I know if he left me now he would still be there emotionally for them (he is a workaholic, so he is not home alot now) but he would be there as much to see them, and love them...but if it were different and their lives were to be altered and their home ,schools, dance lessons. sports...etc...I would be the plan A queen...<BR>So you coming in here, and saying this and that...not even thinking about your own children (your pretend children)...only about poor OW and poor OC....you are a sick person..and I would get help (professional help) to help you get over being dumped by MM...I am just wondering<BR>do you have a child from that relationship?...I think there are support board for women like you..I think you should find one, and leave these women here alone

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nerlycrzy:<BR><B>Nyneve,<BR> The links CoR provided were from <A HREF="http://www.affairs-help.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.affairs-help.com</A> The website of Emily Brown. She has written several books about affairs, has workshops and offers counseling. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh, so the site isn't a bad one... alright... I did go look after and I see there is some help to be found there -- to those who want it, of course. <P>Thanks!!

I couldn't resist. How do these posts on another board prove anything about ME? This is bizarre. Anyway, thanks for the laugh!