Last week I got a shock when I found out my WH was still talking to OW. If you all remember, we went out of state to see OC in Jan. and my H got all confused after that. He seemed to settle back to "normal" after @ 2 weeks, and things have been going pretty good with us. I was starting to feel comfortable and trusting. I wasnt checking his cell phone bill anymore. <p>I found out from OW's husband that they have been talking. This is against the agreement my H and I have. Ow is only to call our house. He changed his cell # last OCtober so she didnt have it. Is it a coincidence that she started calling again after our trip there?!! HE says he didnt give her the number. His # is on the side of our business truck & he claims someone she knows here gave it to her, that she unexpectedly called him, he didnt call her. WHen I asked why he didnt tell me of the calls he said "I didnt want to hurt you when those calls meant nothing to me." But upon further conversation, he admitted he enjoyed talking to her. <p>Heres the BIG NEWS...OW and her H and family along with OC have moved back to our town! Her H thinks it is to marry my H. He said he has caught her writing her first name with our last name. He said he was totally against the move, but she said she would come without him. He wants to keep his family together, so he came too. He asked me what I thought. Did I think there was a chance they could end up together? I said I didnt, but now Im not sure whats going on. My H has seemed very sincere about wanting to be home w/ us.<p>The only phone # we could reach her on by text messaging only, has been disconnected, and any calls she has made to H's cell from her new number is blocked ( or so he says) He says he has not seen her since shes been here. My trust is at an all time low. I asked him to move out. That was 10 days ago. He is enjoying the freedom, & says he has had alot of time to think, and knows OW's behavior is too bizzare for him, and he doesnt feel for her what he once did. He wants to see OC, but doesnt feel he can w/out her involvement. For a year we've told her she must deal with me or we will deal w/ a 3rd party about the baby, but my H never holds her to it, and always takes her calls. When we went to visit OC, H wasnt to see OW, she was to give the baby to me to bring to him. When we got there she refused to leave the baby, and I had to give in and let her & H see each other. It was the worst experience having to spend 4 days w/ my H and his floozy! It was important to me that we show her a united front, thats why I did it. She & I were very pleasant to each other, we discussed the no contact agreement & I falsly led me to believe she would honor it.<p> B4 her moving back, there was no worry of constant visitation, or running into her around town. Now all of that is here in my face. If H lied to me as little as 10 days ago after working at this for 14 months, how am I going to deal with this successfully? He has a job where hes out and around town all day long, how do I trust him to leave her alone?<p>My H talks like he wants to stay away from home for a few weeks and then come back. He says he needs to find a way to let OW know once and for all its over, then to see what she does about the baby. He's afraid she'll disappear with her.<p>In Dr. Harleys book "Surviving An Affair" in the experience of Jon and Sue. Jon let Sue move back home even though he didnt love her very much and she didnt love him at all. Sue had already come back once and left again within a week. But Jon let her come back anyway. With her being back home, they were able to continue working on their marriage, and the love came back.<p>The longest my H has gone without talking to Bimbo is 3 months. I want him to stay away from home at least twice that long. If he can stop everything w/ her for 6 months, and still wants to come back home, then I might be willing to open up my heart to him again. Im afraid I am always going to have to deal w/ this womans shadow between me & H.<p>What do you guys think? I dont want to cut off my nose to spite my face. WOuld it be better to let him come back when hes ready, and take another chance...or should I stick to my guns and make him wait? Is my thinking clear or screwed up? What arent I thinking of? Anybody with any experience like this? I'll await your responses. Love to you all.
