My husband is leaving the whole month of June to do his weekend warrior thing. I don't really understand why it is so long this year, but whatever. Two weeks to go, and then I'll be going nutso!! <p>I am still trying to adjust to life with toddlers and watching my husband enjoy the children that he created without me. We are still dealing with cleaning up his mistakes and realizing that many of our desires are gone. I feel so cheated. We will also have a decrease in pay with his low rank. We still have a trust (or lack of trust) issue- although we are both really working on that. And I will have those teeny practical everyday things that seem so huge right now to deal with by myself, mostly kid related- but that's all there is anymore. (I find the fact that I have no rights degrading in itself, but we did finally get a permission slip drawn up so I can do parental stuff while he's gone.) We also fully expect xow and her new bf to come to our house or harass us in some way and just pray that it is not during the time that he is gone. I definitely don't want to deal with her alone. Every day without him will be hard enough without her interference. And I think he will be kinda bummed out and need some support too.<p>Any ideas on a tangible object that I can send with him to his station? They are going to the desert. No phone, no cell phone coverage, no mail, no electric, etc. I used to write him poetry, but he wasn't impressed so that's out. I'm just trying to think of something he could keep in his pocket and remember that I love him and miss him (and hopefully remind him to be faithful while he is gone).

my husband was in the military for ten years and while he was never faithful, I do know those trips to california were hard work and no play.. I could be wrong but I will ask him.
put a picture in his stuf of you a girl I know made pictures of her self nude and sent to him.
its a thought but you wouldnt want the whole platoon looking on either.
How about a NO LB note each day one that is positive about him and you.

k...i'm gonna own up to my first thought..which was a pair of your panties ( forgive me but I had to much Baileys at Catnips yesterday...)<p>How bout one of those tear of calendars...with a small note from you about how you miss him, or are thinking about him, ect.... I did this for Doc once and the urge to read them all at once was pretty strong , but he resisted and later told me how that was the best part of his day...waking up getting a note from me and how tearing off that page let him know one more day was down before we were together again.

aimee,<p>I just want to tell you that I am sending you prayers. I have my husband going to the desert for his AT in a few weeks also. <p>Needless to say this AT will be the hardest. He is going to the same place that the one night stand happened five years ago, while he was there. And I am going to be due within three weeks by the time he gets home. So I am just going to pray for you cause I know how hard it is.<p>You have a heart of gold to be doing what you are. And I really admire that you are able to care for not one but two children from this painful situation. I pray you have peace, and your husband knows how important you are. Does he carry pictures of you, or this kids? I know that is what keeps my H happy. He will also be carrying his own personal cell phone so that he can call us when he is gone. Is that an option?? I don't know if that is allowed more depending on your rank. Just trying to think of something.<p>babstr.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by aimee2:
[QB]<p>I feel so cheated. <p>I find the fact that I have no rights degrading in itself<p>Any ideas on a tangible object that I can send with him to his station? QB]<hr></blockquote><p>On feeling cheated. We all feel cheated and always will. This feeling will come and go and will eventually subside when you feel your husband has made sufficient amends to you for what he has done and shows you his immense appreciation for the huge sacrifice you are making and the huge heart and boundless love you must have to do what you are doing; not only for him, but for two children that come from heartwrenching circumstances. He needs to acknowledge this enormous gift you are giving him and acknowledge how monumental this is for you. <p>I think you are the only one on this site who has actually taken in and been awarded custody of an OC (let alone two OC's) and I believe your rewards will be tremendous someday. <p>Years from now when these kids are older and are devoted to you and you know you have made a wonderful family unit for yourself and these kids and your husband, you will reap gifts you never dreamed possible. Just the fact you are doing something few could do, puts you up there with the great compassionate ones we all respect and admire...they are so few and far between in our society, and you are one of God's angels to do this, Aimmee. I am truly in awe of you.<p>As for the degradation of not having any rights....I believe this will change someday. The pendulum has to swing back eventually. We all have to get fired up and vocal and make a lot of noise about OUR rights and address fairness issues. I know you don't have a lot of time to get militant while chasing around toddlers, but you can wirte letters addressing your concerns. That alone gives you some empowerment, regardless whether or not you are able to get immediate results.<p>When my husband went into treatment for 30 days and we were not supposed to see each other for a couple weeks, I made up a small photo album of all our favorite times in photos. I had the best pictures depicting the best times of our life copied and made up this wonderful little photo album that he still keeps in the nightstand next to the bed. This album was accompanied with a suggestive and sexy love letter. This was four years ago. Just last week, I went into the bedroom and he was sitting there on the bed, looking through the photos and reminiscing all by himself. It still touches him. <p>Originally, I made the photo album for him because I was scared he had forgotten what we were all about and wanted to remind him of what we were and what we had together. It was a desperate attempt in the beginning to remind him of our history and to show him how much we were "US" to keep him from thinking about OW. Besides, I took the opportunity to choose only the very best and most flattering pictures of myself so he wouldn't forget how damn adorable I was. hahaha<p>[ May 16, 2002: Message edited by: catnip ]<p>[ May 16, 2002: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>