For once this has nothing to do with OW or OC just our crappy child support system.
My oldest son has a child that is 3 years old. He and the childs mother never married and do not live together.
My son has my grandson every week Thursday through Monday. That is 4 ( count them ) days and nights. Her parents keep him the other 3 days. You would think that would make him the primary care giver right ? WRONG !!!!!!!! At least according to those dumbasses at the child support place.
According to them since nobody has court appointed custody she automatically is considered the primary care giver .
????????????????????????????
And the best part is he has to pay her $109.00 a week in child support for a child she NEVER keeps.
That may not sound like much but when you only make $9.75 per hours its tough.
We were going to challenge for full custody but I don't have the $$$$$ it would take right now and he certainly doesn't.
There is just NO justice in this world.
Thanks for letting me vent,
jtigger

Tell your son to hang in there, Jtigger! Though the "system" frequently lacks fairness and justice, the higher powers are keeping score. It may take some time, but justice WILL be served. You vent away, lady!<p>Hugs,
WaterRabbit

SOMEONE pleeeease tell Jtigger there is another way...!! I hate to see so much injustice in the world. <p>Jtigger, wouldn't it be worth the money in the long run for him to try for full custody?? I mean, in the long run, how much ch-support would be saved if he won? He's out money, maybe even in debt, either way. It sounds like he would have a very good chance of full custody...?! Does the child have a court-appointed advocate or anything? This is so insane.<p>Sorry to hear of it [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]
J

i must agree with jenny about the cost when you look at the long term. it would definately be cheaper to press the issue of full custody now. expecially with the fact that the c's mother has little or no contact. <p>i hope i don't have the wrong tigger (i thought there were 2). but isn't your h sailorman? if so doesn't the service have some form of legal advice support? if not you may be able to cut costs with the use of a paralegal. as has been said here before you should strike while the iron is hot. it sounds like the mother isn't going to put up much of a fight.

pops--
Jtigger and tigger are two different women, often confused. <p>Jtigger is a Betrayed W w/no-contact (I think?) OC situation, while tigger and Sailorman are both Wandering Spouses w/3 kids (one an OC, no contact w/biodad).<p>OKAY, that's two votes for: go for full custody anyway! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Go, Jt's son!!<p>[ June 22, 2002: Message edited by: Jenny ]</p>

Yes, it would be best to invest the money in a custody case now but unfortunatly I don't have the $3000.00 it would take to do it.
We have documentation that this is the child care arrangement and they still don't care. I asked them how this was suppose to be benifitting my grandchild if that ***** of a mother of his is pissing every dime away and none of it is going to him. They just gave me, thats the way it is speech.<p>jtigger

Hello,
I was wondering if you have all this documentation, can't you just to go to court and file for full custody? It sounds like it would be in your favor. There is an organzition for the dad's rights that can help pay for legal cost and tell what the proper work to file.<p>
Dawn<p>[ June 22, 2002: Message edited by: Dawn71 ]</p>

JTigger,<p>We are in that same type of situation with exOW and Lil Bit.
We have her every week from Wednesday night through Sunday morning and exOW claims to have her in daycare Mon-Wed.
H and I have 51% of the week, and the court knows it well, but there is no court document stating which party has the primary custody. It was stated in court that it is considered Joint custody, but like I said, no document that actually states this.<p>Right now in our situation, as Lil Bit will soon be a year old, we are worried about insurance. ExOW didn’t have any on her as of last week. And because of the wait for DNA results, then H’s company losing the paperwork and finally because there is no court document stating he MUST carry insurance on her, H couldn’t add her to his policy until July 1st this year. <p>Like Dawn71 mentioned, tell your son to document everything. Make sure there is proof that the grandparents are caring for the child on the days that his ex should have her. Then see a lawyer and sue for custody.<p>It has been said in the courthouse here many times, that DCS tries to preserve the mother-child bond. That seems to be their main priority… not what is in the best interest of the child. SO (at least in our state) it must be proven that the bond between the mother and child is not as strong as the bond between the father and the child.
Not all Mothers are “mothers” if you know what I mean.<p>My prayers are with you and your family. This is not and easy situation to be in, no matter the circumstances leading up to it.<p>Document, Document, Document

Jt,
What about son taking out a loan for the lawyer, or using a lawyer who accepts payments, or is there a way to file on his own?? I have a friend whose X drags her through court constantly, and she HAS to make payments to her lawyer--no way does she have that kind of money. <p>I love Stacie's advice to document everything and go for it!! $3,000 is usually less than ONE year's worth of child-support, and this child is only 3yo!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Your son would save a Bundle in the long run, and possibly (long shot) even get child-support from the mother someday....<p>Good luck!
J

After he pays his cs he has $180.00 left out of his paycheck.
Out of what is left of his check he has to make a house payment, utilities, food, gas etc. etc. etc.......... He can't make payments on a loan or to a lawyer.
I can't help him out right now because I'm too broke from making welfare payments to ow for oc. And please remember, the needs of MY children don't count in the eyes of the court.
I am so angry and frustrated with the entire CS system!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<p>jtigger