Did anyone watch the movie "Love on the Land" on the lifetime movie channel last night. My H and I watched it together (he hates liftetime, calls it the male bashing channel (smile). I cried and cried.

My H and I talked and he told me that he will ask OW to get a paternity test and it would be done by the end of July, early August. I agreed to not discuss contact until results are back.

After watching the movie last night, I am leaning toward having joint custody. I think the only way to heal is as MOF put it, all or nothing.

For those who have seen the movie, what do you think.

lp,
I didn't see it but I hope it's discussed: it must have been very powerful for you to consider joint custody!! I'm glad to hear you had a good time with your DH. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Prayers,
J

lemonpie,
I have not seen the movie, but I wanted to let you know that I think your H asking for a paternity test is a step in the right direction.

My H filed to legitimate the OC even before her birth. We had discussed this for weeks prior to making the decision, together.
Then after the DNA came back 99.999% his, we filed for custody. So far he has been given Joint Physical Custody and 51+% of EACH week.

exOW has given up one child and had another removed from her custody... so we are STILL fighting for FULL custody of Lil Bit. Right now we are waiting for news on when our next court date will be....

Its not an easy road, Lemonpie... by no means.
It is definitely something during which that you need to keep your wits about you. If you and you H decide to go for custody, even joint custody, remember to be prepared for ANYTHING. I was accused of having been admitted to a mental hospital and several other complete lies.

But, all in all... seeing Lil Bit look at me, smile and call me Mama is worth every pain that I have dealt with in the custody battle. Knowing she loves me, even without her able to express it in words, is something that keeps me going through this.

While you wait for the DNA testing and results, work on your marriage. Without stability in your M the custody fight will be more painful. Focus on your M at this point... and keep it the focal point... adding an OC to the mix definitely makes it more difficult.. but it can be done.

Hugs to you LP! And many prayers...

<small>[ July 08, 2002, 07:35 AM: Message edited by: Stacia_Lee ]</small>

Jenny, it was so powerful. The movie was about a man who had an A and the OW got pregnant. They lived in a farming area so word got around. The movie detailed the emotion parts of both the H and BS. The BS was soooooo strong. It brings me to tears just trying to type. I wish you could have seen it. It also showed the possible feelings and life of the OW and OC. Oh my goodness, it was a good movie.