I know its a kinda stupid thing to do but I lurk on the gloryb board and read their posts trying to understand the mentality of an OW. I of course get nothing in that department but I can not believe how much they talk about money, it seems to be first and foremost in their minds, I also see a post over there about girls and boys and who mm tend to bail on ( sorry their word not mine) the thing is I think it is true, men tend to stay away from the boys more, does this seem true to you here on this board? to refresh memory OC child now 6 dd was dec 1997 (and stiil think about it too much) no contact, OC is a boy we pay no support

Bail, as in "released from imprisonment?"

Hmmm...

Does the WS "bail" or when facing the reality of an OC do they WAKE UP and realize how important their families are and how they don't want to lose the one thing that means the most to them in life--meaning their spouse and not the OP??????!!!!

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 05:49 AM: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</small>

It seems money is an issue for all parties involved no matter what side your on. Parents want to do for their kids, so one worries about the money going out and the other worries about money coming in.. I dont think the women are so different in that aspect of things.. MOMs want to do for their children and they have a responsibility to do what is needed to make that happen.

As far as a man bailing on children, I dont think it matters what sex a child is.. if a man is not going to be in a childs life and is going to [bail] then who needs him in the childs life any way...

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 08:25 AM: Message edited by: mom of five ]</small>

As someone who sees both sides of the CS issue and "bailing", I can speak from my experience...I was legitimately married to my ex-hubby and he abandoned me and my two daughters when they were babies. It took the state of Tx FOREVER to garnish his mere $200 a month to pay for his daughters who he never saw for 8 years until this Summer when I agreed to let him and his wife take them for 5 weeks....(that's another post altogether!)I raised those girls by myself for three years before Mr."T" came along and took care of them 100%. He loves them as his own.

On the other hand, my H now, mr."T", knew from the beginning upon finding out of the OC that he wanted to adopt her out. OW kept the child, Mr."T" signed away his rights, but we still pay CS.(and too much....the courts didn't acknowledge my son, because they felt I should get a job and pay for my son.)

I don't know if there is a ratio for "bailing" as my two girls and the OC is a girl...I guess it's all in the situation.

One thing for sure....OC woke Mr."T" up and like a poster wrote on another thread, the CS payments woke him up and reminds him bi-weekly of the damage he's done to our children's and my life as well as the OC's life too.

Twiisty