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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 654
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 654 |
Okay...so, today I feel so scared.....I feel like calling H just to hear his voice. What is that all about?
I don't want to appear too vulnerable or needy but am jut in a bit of an insecure state. I feel kinda stupid calling him and saying....I need a hug - or just wanted to say hi because I'm a loser and can't control my emotions.... haha!
Anyone ever face that? Do you know what that feeling is like?
Thanks,
Angelia
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 903
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 903 |
Yes I sure do know how that feels.
Our MC suggested to me in the early days that if I am feeling insecure to tell Mr."T" that I am and tell him what I need. Mr."T" was instructed to not roll his eyes or act like it is a big chore, because if he really wanted to make the marriage work, he had to do some reassuring anyways. He was told not to belittle my very real feelings.
MC also told me that Mr."T" isn't a mind reader and if I need something specific, to tell him. At first it seemed to me that would be like demanding things all the time, but it wasn't...he didn't know and I told him what I needed, then it was up to him to give it to me.
Those early days are rough and tough. Hang in there...you are feeling very real feelings and it will take some time. I'm short on patience, but I found in hindsight that time is the best thing we have in dealing with this.
What helped me to get through it a bit faster was to acknowledge and really allow myself to feel the pain and grief. I did not stuff it down. It wasn't until 7 to 8 months after D-day was when I got on the zoloft.
Keep in touch and keep us posted...rooting and praying for you too.
Hugs,
Twiisty
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342 |
Oh! angelia that is soooo normal. I wondered all the time that first shakey year.
As Twiisty said H is not a mind reader.
Heck I still stop H for a longer hug in the AM if I need it.
I'm rooting for you too!
Ask anything anytime and we'll do our best to answer.
love
Debi
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