My take on this: It can be quite painful when one partner takes the issues in their relationship away from the other, to someone else for comfort and reassurance. <P>I think this happens because we can sometimes be very critical of problems in our relationship, or uninterested, or too angry to tackle them, and drive the partner to find someone else. This also happens because the 'straying' partner is too afraid or unable to emotionally face the problems in a relationship. So they take them to someone else who, being their 'friend,' will be more sympathetic.<P>The 'friend' could be male or female as far as I am concerned, but I can see the problem getting really dangerous if it is a single or available member of the opposite sex involved.<P>When most or all the confiding and relationship problem solving is directed out of the relationship to the other person, I would say sound the alarm. That to me would be emotional infidelity. A kind of running away to get needs met, because the person isn't getting their needs met with the partner and not asking that partner to help them. I guess one solution would be to express feelings and needs calmly and non-abusively towards the other, and to show a desire to listen to what the 'straying' partner's needs might be that are not getting met, then to come up with solutions. My boyfriend and I sure as hell don't have this down right, but we are trying, quite aware that emotional infidelity could lead to events we'd rather not see for each other.<P>Good luck to all of you.