Dear artsy,<P>wow. I can definately relate to your daughter. My dad moved out on Nov. 3, 2000. I am almost 25, and i am definately a daddy's girl,...or at least was. <P>However, I am in a different role than your daughter. My father has confided in me somethings about his recent infidelity, but that doesn't make it easy. I guess the reason i still love and respect my dad (to some degree) is that he is honest with me. <P>As for your H, he needs to talk with your daughter and tell her the truth. Their relationship can only be reconciled in the presence of truth, repentance and then forgiveness. Unfortunately, you will probably have a hard time telling him this and even having him act. <P>However, from the perspective of the daughter, i would rather not know all of the troubles my parents face. My mother should not be confronting me with my dad's faults, and my dad should not be confronting me with my mothers faults. however, in my life, this is exactly what happens. I am the peacemaker, and so they think they can all run to me, and I will fix the problem. however, the real problem, is my parents inability to communicate with each other.<P>Artsy, you have an important role in the degree of involvement of your daughter, as does her dad. Continue to love, support and encourage her. Help her to understand that it is not her fault. <P>Also, it is important that your daughter come to the realization that her identity as a person is not determined by who her parents are, whether her parents are divorced - separated - married - widowed...etc., nor is her identity as a person defined by her job, the college she attends or by the people she has a friends.<P>I have been working through many of these same dilemas, and i hope that in the words I have written you may find encouragement, hope and strength.<P>Grace & Peace--Ceratium<BR>