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Joined: Oct 2001
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Hi there. I haven't been around in awhile because I haven't had to deal with oc issues. I do have some questions if anyone can help.

Ok, I was chatting with a fellow MB'er yesterday. After chatting with her, I decided to call my mil to see what was going on. Apparently, the x-ow named my BIL as father. We assumed that it was just him, but after talking to my mil, she told me that my husband was on the list of men as possibilities.

My question is this....Why didn't we get any papers? Or did we and I just don't know about it? How can I find that out? Why would my dh's name be listed and given on another man's papers and we didn't know about it? Seems odd that we'd have to find out from him.

This is all just too crazy. I thought that one of my dh's brother's might be the donor, but it turns out that it was the OTHER brother! So, she's screwed all 3 of the men in that family. They all make me sick.

Also, I am pregnant now. I am 5months along. I wonder how that would work for cs if my dh is the one? How can I really find out all of the answers to cs questions? I want her to get as little as possible. My kids and I shouldn't have to pay the price for what they did.

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hello,
Well, did you H get served with papers ask him. I know that everyone named will be served with papers. Your husband can call child support services and ask them if he was named. They will tell them that and if he will get served. I would make sure he calls and see what is going on because here you have a two week period to respond otherwise they can name your H as the father by default. If your H has the papers make sure he fills them out and send them back Otherwise, if the two weeks are up the court can just say he did not protest and assume he is the father. This has happen a lot. Especially, if they delivered the papers to a last known address and they assume he got them.

Dawn

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Hi Dawn,

I did ask him and he swears that he didn't get any papers.

My bil got his papers at his house, which is the parent's house and that used to be my dh's address a LONG time ago. She knows our address, she's been here before.

I know that bil has responded and gets tested on Wed.

Who do I call and what do I say?

This is so embarrassing. We live in a small town.

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OMG!! She slept with three men in the same family all around the same time?!?! How disgusting. It's bad enough that she was sleeping with 3 guys at the same time, but that just makes it even worse. Ugh.
Anyway... sorry about that - I just had to get that off my chest.
They may be "ruling out" one by one. She may be swearing up and down that bil is the father, so they'll just test him. If that's negative, they'll go to the next one on the list? I don't kow. But wow. I feel sorry for her. How sad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
And congrats on your pregnancy!

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Hi mom to Josh,

Isn't it just gross that she was with all 3 brothers? There's one more, but he's only 17. Maybe she's waiting until he turns 18?!

My bil is getting tested on Wed., then it takes 2 or 3 weeks to get the results.

I feel like it's d-day all over again for some reason. I guess I am really surprised. We told xow that we'd take a private test and pay for it (since she didn't want any money...HA!), but instead she's taking it thru the system. This boy is almost 5yo now.

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hello,
Well, it seems that she just named your BIL. I know my H's friend did not know and they had all 3 men tested at once. Just call you local child support office. Actually, have your H call. They will tell him what is going on.

Here is the link. Click on Child Support
Clerks of Court and it gives the listing ot the counties call yours.

http://www.dwd.state.wi.us/bcs/

Regarding child support the probably won't consider your baby because he was not born first. However, they should take into account your other two childern. If they do not take into account your childern you can always appeal. This is happening in other states because they did not into account the other childern and the men have been winning.

I think the system only cares about collecting money so I would make sure you have a lawyer. The one I talked to said he saw cases where they did not take into account the other childern and gave the woman 17% of the man's check. It all depends on the judge and what they will consider. Some look at your expensives some do not.

the lawyer told the only gurantee that they will consider your childern is to file yourself.

Dawn

<small>[ February 01, 2003, 11:14 AM: Message edited by: Dawn71 ]</small>

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Hi Dawn,

Thanks for the link. I will check it out.

What exactly do you mean when you say that we need to file first? File for what? Do you mean for me to file for cs?

I can't wait for monday!

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hello,
Yes, I do mean that we need to file first for child support. That will gurantee our childern will be considered.

Dawn

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Dawn,

So, are you saying that even though we are married I would file for child support? Or I have to file for separation? Or divorce?

I guess I will call a lawyer in the morning.

Thanks,Dawn.

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Hey, I am not positive about this... but I seem to remember that brothers or father/son who take paternity tests may get confusing results.

I think I read that all three brothers could get the 99.9%. When the possible fathers are related, they have to do additional testing.

So it might be a good idea to make sure that the dna testing folks know that the possible fathers are related when they do the test.

Good luck.

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I don't usually post here (as ther is no OC in my situation) but I do occasionally lurk. After reading this thread I did a google search and found info on Paternity Testing Corp. website To paraphrase, they say that if the possible fathers are brothers, then both (or all) need to be tested, as there may be more than one "positive" result and further testing must be done to determine the actual father.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Apparently, the x-ow named my BIL as father. We assumed that it was just him, but after talking to my mil, she told me that my husband was on the list of men as possibilities.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If she has disclosed to CS that your H and other BIL could be the father, I would think that they would be obligated to test all 3, given that they are so closely related. Maybe it's possible that she only actually gave the one BIL's name?

<small>[ February 06, 2003, 07:39 AM: Message edited by: lostbuthopeful ]</small>

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Hi aimee2 and lostbuthopeful,

From the research that I have done, I also am very surprised that the brother's weren't tested at once.

I don't understand anything about this whole process! Why would bil have my dh's name on his papers? Why wouldn't they test both at once?

We will see a lawyer in the morning because I want to protect myself and my family as much as I can.

Here is the key paragraph from that website that pertains to us.......

If there is more than one possible father of the child and the possible fathers are closely related to each other, then it is very important to test them both. This would be true, for example, if two potential fathers are related to each other as brothers or as father and son. The paternity test of a single alleged father only identifies a probability of paternity for that alleged father compared to other unrelated men. If two possible fathers are closely related, then their genetic makeup can be very similar, and they could easily both receive a positive test result. In that case, the laboratory will continue testing until one of the alleged fathers is excluded (at no extra charge). If only one of the related alleged fathers is available, the client can pay the laboratory to perform additional testing in order to establish a likelihood that the tested man is the biological father as opposed to the unavailable relative. But it is best to test all related parties who could be the father of the child.

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Just wondering what has happened since you last posted? How are things going?

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tinlizzy

I am also wondering if the DNA test results came back yet from your BIL?

Dawn


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