My H spoke with OW last night about C with child. OW flipped when he told her that he wanted OC to spend nights at our place. She said now way, not now maybe in a few months or a year.

OW hates me and said that she is concerned with OC being around me because in the beginning I wanted OW to abort and I also said that I hoped she had a miscarriage. Well, of course I said that. No it was not nice. However, this is now a living human and I WOULD NEVER hurt a child. What I said is really no different than the things I am sure she had said about me in the past. Plus, I never said that I wanted to kill the child. I just wished for a possibly natural thing to happen. Again, not nice but a natural feeling.

OW also told H that she did not want child at our place becuase he never let her around our kids when H & I were sep.

She told him that she thought he would just continue to come over and see OC. H said NO. H thinks that she is going to decide to change the babies last name to hers. Fine with me. She had given H keys to her place so it would be easier when he came to visit. Well, she asked for them back. GOOD. I told H that she wanted him to have them for more than just convience. I think this proves it.

H and I spoke again this morning about it. We thought of a few alternatives. One, OC comes to our home as planned but does not spend the night till a little later. He also said that mabye he will convientely not be around when OW bring OC to our house, just to make her deal with me. Evil but I loved it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

H and I also thought this might not be bad for us either. Figure, we would have our evenings free so we can enjoy our summer with our children or going out together. She on the other hand, will be with baby every weekend, every evening. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I just hope it does not get into this huge expensive P****** match.

Hi LuvMyFamily,

I am so glad husband is sticking by you. This is just what you need. OW is angry because she is not getting her way. I already know my husband will not stand by me the way yours is standing by you. I am so happy for you. Do not let OW get under your skin. Count your blessings that husband is standing by you.

Morning LMF~

A lot of ow pitch a royal fit when suddenly things are not going as they planned.

Great news your H is working with you as a team.

You guys decide together what you want. It's your M after all, and she has nothing to do with that, whatsoever!

Expensive or not, get an attorney so your rights and your H's parental rights are looked after.

Even though it's cheaper to work it out on paper or whatever, w/ ow, in the long run it will be more expensive in terms of turmoil in your life. IMO, It's not worth it.

Also, IMO I wouldn't rush the contact w/ OC. You guys are just beginning to pick up the pieces of your M.

Work on your M.

Work on yourselves.

Enjoy your summer, as you said.

Take this time also, to plan, and figure out just what you two want, and how you want to go about it. Can be damn sure ow's wheels are already turning, you need to get yours going to.

Again, so happy about your H's turnabout. You keep being the wonderful wife you are, and let ow do all the LB'g. She's off to a good start!

~ad

Genia, you don't know that. My H's actions were looking pretty darn bad and have seemed to turn around. You never know.

Autumn-
I know I love the fact that OW is doing all the LB'ing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It's great. I understand what you are saying about taking our time with C. However, I do what my H to stop going over there as soon as possible. I think the idea of every other weekends from the morning to early evening will work for awhile.

H and I are doing very well. He keeps telling me how much he loves me, how he likes they way we are getting along and dealing with things. He looks at me when he says he loves me with these eyes that make me feel loved. you know what I mean? I feel like we have turned a corner in our relationship. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

LMF,

I am so happy 2 hear that your H is coming around & realizing U & your family come 1st. Be sure that OW will continue to trip now, even if u hadn't of said u wished OC would not be born, she would still not want u around OC, that is just how MOST of them r. Oh well STOW grow up & deal w/ what you started!

Get the DNA done & CS going & visitation don't let her start the games with any of it.

God is good girl, I was so concerned about u but I believe u 2 will be just fine, keep the focus on your M 1st - how can u go wrong. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi Luv,

You are right. Your husband was acting so much like my husband. It does give me some hope. I think my husband is coming out of the fog. However I do not know what will happen when baby is born. He seems to lean more towards connecting with children than connecting with me. I think he is scared to tell the truth. He loves me but he is afraid we won't make it. He knows his kids are connected to him forever by blood. His previous two wives just up and left him for OM. His first wife left her clothes and everything and never came back. I think it hurt him so bad he is afraid to get really close to me. And I too have been hurt by my previous two marriages too and am afraid to get too close to. But I know we love each other. We were drawn together because we were two people hurting inside. Now we have hurt each other.

LMF,BBG,G everyone needs to relize God wants our M's to work. He put us together for a reason! He works on his time, not ours. We all have something to learn from all of our heartaches and things have to come full face. H need to see what the OW are all about and it may take sometime but usally does come around. We just have to learn to let them do the LB'ing and we do all the LOVIN! LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It's great. I understand what you are saying about taking our time with C. However, I do what my H to stop going over there as soon as possible. I think the idea of every other weekends from the morning to early evening will work for awhile.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Absolutely, he shouldn't be going over there anymore. I wasn't trying to suggest otherwise. I was of the opinion he shouldn't have ever been going over there in the first place. That's all behind you now. He's not off doing what he wants regardless of your needs, he sounds as if he's back with you, willing to work as the team you are.

If you can get visitation as you want it for the time being, that is great. For the long term, I still suggest legal counsel so that things can get squared away, and you can live your lives with the least amount of disruption.

Take good care. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ June 30, 2004, 12:24 PM: Message edited by: autumnday ]</small>

H spoke with his atty. As both H & I already knew, OW can't keep OC from her father. His atty. said you have all rights to go over there and say I am taking her with me, ahh C-ya.

His atty is going to send her a letter outlining some stuff. We shall see how that goes. On the bad end, H's atty roughly figured that CS is going to be about $675. OH MY GOD, that is better than what I first thought but more than I thought it would be after I factored our kids in and OW's overtime. I have no idea how we are going to do this. We shall see, this was just preliminary.

LMF Just keep praying! God will see toit that you and your children have what they need!. Trust me. I started taking out insurance and included a family policy when all I had to get is mine and D, but I want to make sure I have it long enough so if anything is wrong w/ the OC I/we have good insurance for it. And God is covering it I got a raise today! So girl just give it to him and beleive me he will handle it!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D