I FORGOT ABOUT IT AND IT PASSED ON JULY 6TH!!!!

Wheeeew hooooooooooooo

I cannot believe sometime today I thought of this and it was a month and a half ago. It made me feel very peaceful and happy today because it goes to show you that you can replace your sadness w/positive thoughts and activities..live in the present.. not consume yourself w/any thoughts of OW or A.... and that if the thoughts are in your head.. REPLACE THEM with things that make YOU happy now.

Getting a new place was a breath of fresh air for me and H and KIDS especially. Its AMAZING how many deamons have been left burried on the walls of our old home. There are only good things here so far.. and yellow, purple and orange and green walls help that too! I suggest to make that step towards a new environment that has less bad memories. It helps sooooo much. (OR rearrange the old house like trading spaces...mix up and change your furniture and furnishings. A fresh look can be done so cheaply by painting, etc! It is so fun and time consuming.

Also, as someone said in another post- maybe Luv. GOD will get us thru- he always does after we stress out!

When the "day" comes around. Instead of focusing on what happened, just think about how far you've come. How far the marriage has come. That is the way I got through my day.

EXACTLY Saphire!!

Just think.. HA HA we were NOT broken.. we still stand together!Maybe a little leary LOL.. but still standing!

You could not have posted this at a better time! Things have been a bit tense here ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> (My bad?)

I am so glad for you and wow, I hope the others here can find the same peace and love as you have. IT WILL COME!!! YAAAAHHHOOOO Good for you! I believe that success breeds success, so the more success those hurting can see, maybe they too can keep moving forward.

You know the op? It's like trying to remember the guy you dated as a Freshman or Sophmore. Date for a while, he is trouble, you move on. Who really thinks of that guy, except to think, "God, how stupid was I, what could I have been thinking?" And then you go forget all about him. Now think of an affair and how it all comes down. The "cheater" is thinking "god how stupid was I, and what could I have been thinking" EXCEPT FOR ONE DIFFERENCE. While both scenarios are filled with regret, the "cheater" has his "cheatee" asking a zillion questions, hurt, angry, etc. Imagine that? That is why I keep saying forget about the ow. She isn't worth it. She is like that jerk we have all dated and wished we didn't and cringe whenever our friends say "remember when you dated XXX?" And we think "UGH" And those relationships were REAL. Not hidden from view, full of shame. So, GOOD FOR YOU for moving past and healing and seeing an affair for what it is. It was an "UGH" moment for him!!

And, think of how thankfull your husband is? He is probably one who will cringe with disgust if/when her name ever comes up. That embarrassing stupid mistake that he never wants to think about again!

So go give him a big hug, tell him how much you love him and then smile brightly and him kiss him deeply! This is your man, your life and you are happy! He is happy!!!!! We are all happy for you!!! XXXXXXOOOOOOOO to both of you.

Lynn,

I have to take this moment to tell you how awesome you are...

Im new here...But what I have read from you has truly made me realize I am not crazy...Everything I have been through and yet I am always the witch to the OW...

I appreciate you so much...One day I will share more...

Hey one song comes to mind...Elton Johns "IM STILL STANDING"...

BRING IT ON!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!

Why thank you dear!! Yeah, I can be one tough broad!! I feel each and every one of your pain and confusion, cause I have been there. HOWEVER I have long passed it and I want all of you to know that it does pass. Life goes on. You will be happy. Life-laugh and love is my motto.

I do however get quite huffy if someone is on here who is not, how shall we say, Concerned about the BW/BH and BC. I can smell the thinley veiled "stabs" and "faux" messages meant to rub salt in deep wounds. People on here are wonderfull and kind. You will find the most amazing people here. Some are new to the hurt and pain, others are deep in confusion as to what they should do, some are trying like he!! to deal with the drama of the ow/oc, others have decided on no contact. We all run the gamut, all have our stories and scars. But one thing remains constant. WE ARE ALL SURVIVING. And with survival, comes healing and moving on. It isn't easy but it can and does happen, all the time!!

The main thing is to be totally and 100% honest with yourself first. What do YOU want? Then you need to know what HE wants. If it is the same, well, it makes it easier. However, if it is not, is where the real work begins. Read the whole site. Understand that you BOTH have to be on board of ALL decisions. One can't force the other, or you will have bittneress rearing it's ugly head down the road. I am adament that there is no reason to try and do what pleases him, at the cost of your own needs. This is your one and only life, it will have bumps, but it is your life to live as you choose. Don't ever let other people try to force their will and their needs at your feet, if it isn't what you want. Not everybody is looking out for your best interests, so make dang sure you do!!

Here are the lyrics to "our song" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You could never know what it’s like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there’s a cold lonely light that shines from you
You’ll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use

And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I’m coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I’m still standing you just fade away

Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I’m still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah
I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah

Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you’d be a clown by now

Lynn you are right!! Not everyone is looking out for our own best interest, but we are hot on our own trail!

In the end, the only thing that matters is that we are true to ourselves and whatever decisons we make.

Right now at this very moment what we want is for this blended family to begin its blending...

We want this BS to go away because it is all BS...In the end what remains is the love that we have to give...And the love that we want to give...

Simple...

Lynn you are right about one thing that came up recently for me and H...

H met me in the courtyard of my building in town where I work, he had just come from the paternity test down there and met me... I already knew in my heart the outcome... and I asked him what was he thinking right now, or at the hearing w/OW which I decided 100% that I did NOT want to go to (I've never seen OW and cherish that)..

His words as he shook his head "I KEPT LOOKING AT HER AND THINKING OF YOU AND ... "WHAT WAS I THINKING???"

I just heald his hand and I felt at peace w/the situation ... ha ha you hit the nail on the head!

You have to get to a point that wake up and say "duh..I'm all that..!!" and I feel I am again! I look in the mirror and see a strong and beautiful woman again!! I may have lost my H and myself for a while, but I (and others) got back ouR pride..

and HUSBAND ASIDE.. WITH OR WITHOUT HIM.. I got back that "thang" that made me the raging (italian lol) that I am.. and boy does that make a H come sniffing around his territory with a fury again!!

I hope all of us here can come to a good place .. I feel it in the air with the regular gals here, its gona be a revolution.... !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ August 14, 2004, 11:58 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

hey what ya doin' on so late? LOL
email me----

I am SOOOOOOO glad to be hearing from you again! And I am even MORE glad to be hearing ALL this good news!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

email me---you know you want to read that NC letter!!!!!! hmmmmmm??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

edited to remove email from spammers! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ August 16, 2004, 10:43 PM: Message edited by: ktbunch ]</small>