</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The MM who fathered my baby said he WAS going to be a father to his child, then changed his mind after the baby was born. HE SAID abortion was NOT the right solution. WE made the choice to have this baby. I did not choose to have a fatherless child because the baby WAS going to have a father who played an active role. The father just "changed his mind" after the fact.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This was stated loud and proud by Cheerfullittleone.. and then I read a few OW today who feel they are completely free of error cause "THEY PLANNED IT" with "their" MM.... and he SHOCKED them and "changed his mind".

Hey y'all, I have this bridge.. I want you to jump off of it and THEN dont blame me when you die..mmmkay?

Aren't they embarassed to ADMIT this? And after all- isnt this the same wonderful superlover that promised to be faithful to his W when he married her. AND THEN HE CHANGED HIS MIND- BUT IT ALL GOOD when he was CHANGING his mind to SUIT your needs, WASNT IT?? I'd be embarassed to even admit I was down with such a HUMILIATING plan. (oh and then be mad at the mm and wife about it).

You compromised everything a woman can for an obvious lunatic WHILE MARRIED TO AND LIVING W/HIS WIFE??? And then we as the BS are sorry, desperate, etc??

Don't blame this MM who WANTED to have a dreamy little baby with you ! Where was YOUR head? Did you just get caught up in the "Awe how sweet and cute-he wants a baby w/me!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

This type of planned pregnancy is the ABSOLUTE worst of them all!!! These poor children were WILLFULLY and selfishly brought on earth to deal with this cause HE HE HE made me! HE wuved me soo much ... "But he promised!!"... YOU or any OW who keeps her baby that was "planned" with this joker ARE NO SUPER-HERO, SUPER MOM.. YOU HAD THIS BABY FOR HIM- CAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE HIM LOVE YOU, ETC... because you weren't thinking of this poor innocent child- this was no great CAUSE- it was PURE and utter selfishness to play house at the expense of a human being yet to be born.

Oh yeah, and THEN have the NERVE to come HERE to toy with people like us who fight and struggle to find a way to do the right thing, mature thing, acceptable thing, IN SPITE OF THE NASTY pain and cruel joke played on our family? For people here hurting to have to listen to the likes of YOU who NOT ONCE, ever,takes any blame for what YOU did to your OWN child's future? You who blatenly comes here and has the NERVE to say you don't give a crap about the BS.. and keep posting here for fun? To state proudly that you and he PLANNED THIS SH*T..

Ya know, you DO fit the description of the steotypical OW- so keep being smug- keep posting here- you know why- you are exactly what the gals around here with HEARTS OF GOLD need to remind them just why we ARE justified for supporting our H in NC w/OC. You are doing exactly the opposite of what you are here trying to do- to hurt us.

OW like you just reinforce why our H COMES RUNNING back to a woman with SOME DAMN SENSE, LOYALTY AND PRIDE in her BODY/MARRIAGE/LIFE/FAMILY!! You make me and the LADIES here PROUD to be who we are!! You make us feel good, not stupid, for having heart enough to feel for and protect even strangers from pain at our hands!! You make me and others MORE CONTENT with our decision to support our H w/NC. You are a shining example of what NASTY behaviour we will have a life full of if we deal with OW/OC in any way!!!!!!!

<small>[ October 05, 2004, 09:54 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

gio, I am not here to hurt you. Can I ask you something though that you brought up on another board to see if you purposely wanted to hurt the ow? I see you as talking the talk, but not walking the walk. I remember a staement you made about how all the bw with c with oc will bath that child as soon as they get it to get rid of the stench of ow. Was that just to hurt the ow? I don't see where clo was trying to hurt anyone.........remember there was another person involved in that baby. I don't see her saying awful things like that about the bw. I've never said awful things like that about the bw on this board or any other board as well.

I challenge you to drudge up those words- the "stench" ?? Not even my type of word. You mentioned this before- and I can bet you every penny I have, that you are picking apart something that belongs to an entire paragraph w/a completely different meaning.

And if I was wanting to hurt OW - I am not allowed there- and they treat people there just as in real life they would-- like crap.

But since you mentioned it- why don't you pull up some of those posts of mine and read just how much I DID try to be reasonable, kind and even understanding of the OC/OW, etc... I showed my emotions,my hurt, my true self- CLO is NOT- she is here to stick it to BSs- don't give me this crap that she is INNOCENT (oh why is that shocking?)... YOU reread her posts okay? She is nasty and without me pulling the post- she boldy says "hey, I don't give a sh*t about the Bs".. she's really sweet, isn't she.

My walk and talk does match up- I'm NOT two faced like you and others are. I had to hold back many of my opinions, yet delivered ALL of my posts with honesty and without being wishywashy cause it was YOUR place. I was treated like crap and called names and laughed at. And yep, now I've been turned completely off to the plight of ANY OW- I was showing too much compassion towards OC/OW and you all made me realize in my own life that some people just don't care and dont deserve the effort I put into them. Some people ARE too nice,and I am not anymore. I needed to have the reality of heartless people shown to me so I could learn something. At times my care and concern for other human beings is misplaced and needed to be put towards me and my children, only- and I thank YOUR board for helping me feel at peace w/NC.

and for the record..so what if I WOULD bathe the OC when it arrived at my house. Nothing against OC but as for OW- I don't want to and shouldn't have to kiss and hug a baby that smelled of OW or that was drenched in her spit... why should I- oh thats a bad person, I forgot!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Gio, if I mentioned it twice, then apparently I saw you write it. I will have our queen bee detective look up that post and will get back to you. NOt a problem.
You can call me a lot of things, (which I have been called here) but two faced is NOT one of them. Go back and read some of my post here and there and you'll see I'm not two faced.
Never said CLO was innocent. Your right she is a nasty evil OW. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
I know you did not get a long with a few people over on the "other" board, but that had nothing to do with me. I never trolled you or screamed at you or called you names. In fact there are very few and far between people that I do call names. It's just not me. yes I do have my opinions, and try and be respectful here as I'm the "xow", but just as you feel you were treated by some people over there, I know how you feel. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
You basically just admited in your last statement that you at the very least approve of it. I did not say that YOU did it, I said you said that bw that have c do it. And for the recrod I don't slober.......how would you feel if your husband became xh and your kids new step mom said or did that? It's just plain mean. And Gio, did you read my other post on the other thread about a truths? Where would you like for me to deliver your post when found? Hey if I'm wrong I'll be the first one on this board and the "other" board to apoligize to you. That's just the way I am.

<small>[ October 05, 2004, 11:02 PM: Message edited by: needtomoveon ]</small>

BTW......Stench......maybe is not the word you used.......and it was my all up in the post thing as we all do.......but the attitude was there. The post is already being looked for. Shall I PM you on the other site when found?

We are NOT going to compare other boards, copy & paste from other boards, bring disagreements from there over here or from here over there.

THIS IS MARRIAGE BUILDERS .

If you are here to rebuild your marriage or support those that are attempting to do so, this is the place for you.

If not >>>>>>>>>>>>

Justuss, you ARE right.

I am guilty of being mad and irritated and getting WAY off the topic of things that actually matter in our lives...

I apologize. I want to be a part of the solution, not the problem- and more importantly, not at the cost of more important and truly relevant topics not getting the attetion they need.

I'd tell you to send my monster butt to bed tonight for bad behaviour, but I've already sent myself there...

Autumnday, if you are reading, sorry to you also. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ October 05, 2004, 11:23 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

Hello, I am sorry for you and your child. I onlyhope that you can move on and hopefully find the right man that will be a father to your child. (Just because the sperm was donated does make the father.)

I have two adopted children as well as bio so I know that even though I did not give birth I AM there mother.

Somehow I do have sympathy for you as you said you were told all these things. Still I don't agree with your actions. It would have been best to discontinue your relationship once you knew he was married and then waiting until he was no longer attached.

What happens is that your so caught up in the feelings , emotions, an d physical that you don't give us (the wife and family ) your destroying a thought. Just as you wanted the bio father to be a father for your child, i'm sure his wife and kids wanted him there for them. Nothing will ever be the same for that family.

My H OW knew of his marriage , kids etc. She just wanted a baby, my H never mentioned anything but sex ( no still not ok) once it happened the sex, My H told her it couldn't happen again. She then planned the second time, got pregnate as planned in hopes to revieve some sort of relationship. Even after finding out the baby had severe birth defects , she still brought him into this world.

I feel sorry for the child, not her.

Just my opinion....move on and find the right man unmarried for you . it can happen

Lori