Yes, WE chose NC. It was long & drawn out & long OVERDUE. IMO
Yes, OC is a girl..............hmmmm.... how can you tell? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> all the STUFF? LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
WE spent lots of time going back & forth to the courts, mediations, counselors & a great therapist that tried to work w/ us (OW, me AND H, altogether) to get a good parenting plan (agreement) in order.
OW would agree to things then go back to court & said my H AND the mediator took advantage of her & pressured her. OW agreed to things & then would say, "I never agreed to that" or "I only acted like I agreed to avoid conflict but I didn't really agree." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
So finally before summer started OW hauled us all back into the therapist office again @ another lame attempt to avoid OC being w/ us for the summer. OW would do this whenever there was to be an 'increase' in visitation. THe summer was gonna be every other week, thurs to thurs.
The therapist assured her that OC was 'ok' & would continue to be just fine w/ us. THEN OW said, ok but that ONLY H could transport OC to & from visists & must do ALL the driving. I had previously been 'allowed' to transport OC due to H work schedule up to that point & w/ the summer schedule the driving was to be shared equally between us & OW. (we did ALL the driving but summers were to be shared)
So right then I said that it was ENOUGH. (to H not OW) Our oldest was still exhibiting signs of stress over the whole thing (getting headaches, nausia & vomiting when we would p/u OC). SO I was the first to say it was now just TOO much & I would no longer go through this nonsense, much less for an entire summer!
H calmed me down, I spoke to the therapist alone & explained what was going on. THe therapist recommended that we cut down on visitation for our child's peace & well being. H said we would try JUST for the summer & see if it got better having visitation EOW. Other 'issues' were put on the back-burner. I agreed & let the therapist know our plan.
The therapist talked to OW & reminded her of what the ORDER actually said & convinced her it was in OC best interests to stick to the order or we would be DONE. Explained to OW that we would NOT continue fighting over this junk, we had no more $$$$$$$$ for a lawyer, our family needed peace as well as OC.
OW said that she didn't want OC to be w/o a 'dad' sooo.....'ok'.
THings went smoothly for about 2 months. Then......as it was getting closer for school to start again...(one of the big unresolved issues) OW started to play games again.
Started scheduling unnecessary Dr visits for OC during OUR time. (but OW did not allow us to make up the day that the visit was on, we would just lose that day) Once was ok. THe next time we spoke to the DR ourselves who said it was unnecessary & it was ok to reschedule it during OW time. OW refused to reschedule it & then said that I no longer C her for anything ONLY H. OW normally only did this when there was a disagreement, otherwise communication was always through me via email.
H then was the one who said--------ENOUGH. H was finally convinced the nonsense would never end.
There was nothing more we could do. HE wrote OW a letter (explaining NC & why), I packed up all (most, there was a lot)OC stuff & sent it home w/ her when OW picked her up.
OW had a bit of a stunned look on her face when she saw all the stuff. She asked OC, why do you have all your stuff? I didn't tell OC. I just told OC that she could take any of her stuff that she wanted.
But I think OC somehow knew because she made a few interesting comments. She told our 4.5 yo, I am going away for a long time & I'm gonna miss you, AND, I'm taking my stuff becuase I'm gonna be gone for a long time. (or something like that) But I had only told her she could take her stuff if she want, to use @ her mom's house.
That is what I heard her tell OW too. That she just brought her stuff in case she needs it.
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So anyhoo........that was way back in Aug.
Live & learn.
WE are moving forward & no longer dwelling on the past.
Our family has peace, even if it was @ such a price.
The little ones ask for OC ALL the time, @ least every other day. I just let them write her letters (drawings really <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ), collect them all up & mail them out.
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But I can't dwell on it either. What's done is done & we are living our lives as best as we can. We have much to be grateful for.
xoxoxoxox
kt
PS: about OW family..........It's my assumption that they hate us, 'OW
is the innocent victim in all of this.' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Wierd actions that they displayed indirectly to us, not just H but entire family. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
