Well, after the revelation yesterday that my H had continued the affair right under my nose after returning from Iraq, a lot has happened. My H is staying in a hotel for a few days until I can get my head on straight to make a decision.

Our MC (bless his heart!!!!) was VERY direct and told my H that he was a sexual addict. MC recommended that my H get help. There's a christian Sex-addict support group in our town, and the MC said when he was ready he should think about going. I'd been trying to get my H to talk to a friend about what he was going through, but I guess he felt that if he did...he'd have to spill the beans.

He called the MC back later yesterday afternoon to get the info on the SG. He also called OW ( in front of me) and told her he wouldn't be able to be in contact with her until after the OC was born.I had told him we would have to separate for a while so that I could figure out what to do, so I'm not sure if that's why he made the calls. Well, the first SG meeting was last night, and he called me from the hotel he's staying in to tell me how wonderful it was, and that it was eye-opening. He's going to continue going, and he has to sign a contract, and be accountable to 6 men for 6 months.

I'm amazed at what has happened in the last 48 hours since I first posted here. I still haven't decided for sure if we can work it out. I'm so scared that he'll do this again. I know you all understand the absolute devistation of A's, but I'm not sure if he can change, and I'm in a lot of pain. He's shown me a lot of remorse, and has taken some big steps. But I need to take care of me for a little while before I can decide if we should stay together.

Several people have recommended that I research plan A and B, but I can't find the info on the web-site...could you direct me?

{{{{{{{{{{{to all}}}}}}}}}}}}
JM

Jac...

I don't know if you have had the chance to read lots and lots of posts here-- old and new-- but let me just say that your H has made MORE PROGRESS in 48 hours than many husbands do in months, years or ever!

Do not cross Hubby off of your to-do list so quickly, ok? I know most if not all of us who are successfully reconciling have been where you are at--- wondering if we could ever or were willing to work on anything with the man who lied to us so easily.

Sometimes things such as this can turn your H, you and your marriage around for good.

I know how this hurts and I am so sorry to see yet another one feel this pain...

I think you are doing absolutely wonderful and being quite mature and level headed- believe that! I know you don't feel like you are doing "just fine" but your attitude, your strength to be firm or at least take action so quickly is a wonderful step towards healing. BAby steps are HUGE in this dramatic and painful situation!

I know you are scared he will "do it again" but isn't love and life always a gamble of sorts? Isnt there just as much chance that another man may and can be capable of this again? Statistics and reading around here should tell you a little about the state of our world-- dont ever let fear rule you. Be wise, be cautious, guard your future as much as you can- but don't count out H so quickly as a liar and a cheat for life. We all make mistakes- Hubby made HUGE ones, but God will forgive him and so can you IF he continues to want to dig into your M and your heart with 100% honesty and love and faithfulness.

Take care and keep us posted on the progress ok!

Thanks alot G123!!! I just put my make-up on to go to school, and now I have to re-do it!!! LOL

Thank for your kind words and support. I'm just so scared to let him back in my heart again. I just got off the phone with him and he told me that the bleep-ing bleep showed up at his work today...AFTER HE TOLD HER LAST NIGHT NC!!! I just started bawling on the phone. He got in his truck while he was on the phone with me and "hid". I know that he's making remarkable progress. I know I should be so thankful...and I am. I'm just so scared to forgive him and let him in my heart again. I did that right away after the 1st D-day, and I got trampled. He wanted to come right home and hug me, and I said no. Is that wrong? Is it wrong to ask him to stay in a hotel for a few days? I do love him, GOD help me I do. And in my heart of hearts I KNOW that God brought us together for a reason, but right now...I don't want him to hold me or comfort me. I asked him to do that for me after the first D-Day and he refused...in fact got mad whenever I cried. I know now that it was because he still was consumed with guilt. I'm so confused. I really miss him, but I don't want to look at him.

JM