I'm hurting. I need to talk. I can't stop crying. Oh, God. Please respond. i need to talk. Why? I feel like I'm losing it. <P>Please!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

jamie-lee,<P>Honey, what's the matter??????<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I can't even type. It's overr guys. I'm shaking. I can't even type. He doesn't want me. Oh my God. I'm sorry I can't even put it into words.

I'm here. I'm saying a prayer for you now...talk to us. We are here for you...<BR>Kathi

jamie-lee,<P>I can't stay up too much longer as I have to get to work really early tomorrrow. If I miss your post, I want you to know that I am praying very, very hard for you right now.<P>God bless....<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Okay,<BR>well we just got off the phone, no arguments, just him telling me that he's moving come June without me. He's asked me if I prefered for him to file in his county or mine. I told him, if he was going to fiel that i'd prefer he filed in his county, because i know to many people in the courts down here. He was basically telling me that I needed to start to prepare for life without him because since he'll be getting out of service he'll be leaving. He asked that we use our tax money to pay off last debts so neither of us will have any outstanding debts. He wants only to pursue a friendship. He doesn't want me. I thought that.... I don't know he came over last night and he was intimate, but I guess it was for this one last time because in essence, he said that he wanted me to be clear on that this divorce will happen in April. Oh, my GOd. My heart hurts. For so long I've held on hoping that he would change his mind. I've been grasping to false hopes and presumptions when all along he wanted to leave. He said that he never meant for us to end this way and that he doesn't mean to hurt me. God.. I don't know. I feel horrible, I physically hurt right now. I want to ball up in a corner. WHy

Jamie-Lee:<BR> It may or may not be over...if you've been around here awhile, you know people change their minds, sometimes even after a divorce is final.<BR> But, what if it is over? You are a strong woman, with faith in a God who loves you and will watch over you and guide you. Right now what your husband decides to do is out of your hands. How you take care of yourself and your child IS up to you.<BR> Regardless of what happens with your H, YOU WILL BE OK. <BR> You are in my prayers. Hugs--<BR>Kathi

Jamie, this may be no consolation, but I've heard those words and been separated many times and my H posted here today for the first time under "Guard". You might want to read what he has to say about being a betrayer. His change of heart may give you hope. It's a little late for me...but I never thought it would happen.

Jamie-Lee,<P>Like the others here have stated...<P><B>you are a strong womam</B>...much stronger rthan you realise...<P>I have no real advice since I haven't experienced what you're going through...<P>Think about your children...draw what strenght you can from their love...<P>I truly believe that people do change their minds...<P>I will continue my prayers for you...<P>Bill<P>"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3<BR><P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

No, he was so calm. He has really thought this through. I just told him that I was sorry too and that I never meant to hurt him either. I didn't cry on the phone, but I told him that I was going to get on with my life. He's given me so many hints that it's ridiculous. I'm a fool for holding on this long. It's like all along, you know that its booiling down to a divorce, but I was in denial. I never wanted to accept it. I just wanted to hold on. How can I deposit anything into a closed account. He doesn't want me. He said that I haven't changed. I asked him was that good or bad and he said neither. I told him that I didn't know if we could be friend s, but I'd try. He said that he understood.

Jamie-lee,<BR>You were together just lastnight - surely there is some feeling on his part! He has said that you havn't changed - what does he mean by that? (ie. is it an opportunity to talk about how he would like to see some changes?)<P>My thoughts are with you. As said above, it ain't over till it's over. Give it your all and give your all to your child.<P>Lisa

Jamie-Lee:<BR> I have to sign off...I have an early flight tomorrow. But, I will be keeping you in my prayers and thoughts. Again, try to let go of what you cannot control, and focus on what is up to you...namely, how you take care of yourself and your little girl. Regardless of what happens with your H, YOU WILL BE OK. <P>{{{{{{{{Jamie-Lee}}}}}}}}}}}}

Sweetpea, <BR>thank you for your prayers. But this has been coming for a long time. I just didn't want to see it. I don't have much hope anymore.<P>Roll Me Away, <BR>thanks for the prayers. I really need them. <P>Kathi, <BR>I feel so bad right now. I'm so happy my little girl is asleep. I would hate for her to see me like this. I think it's time for me to just let him go. It hurts to much.<P>Lor,<BR>I have this bad feeling that its tooo late for me too. I don't know what else I can do? <P><BR>Bill,<BR>I don't feel strong right now. I feel like my head is about to burst and my chest is about to cave in. Why, Bill. Why doesn't he want to be my husband. I just think I've given my all. I don't have nothing left to give. I'm drained.<P>God give me strength!!! MY GOD. <P><P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

{{{{{{{{{{<B>jamie-lee</B>}}}}}}}}}},<BR>{{{{{{{{{{<B>jamie-lee</B>}}}}}}}}}},<BR>{{{{{{{{{{<B>jamie-lee</B>}}}}}}}}}},<BR>{{{{{{{{{{<B>jamie-lee</B>}}}}}}}}}},<BR>{{{{{{{{{{<B>jamie-lee</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>I feel so sorry for you...<BR>...and I <B>do</B> agree you should try to hold on... and keep on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>-ing... as long as possible.<P>However... there are issues that will need to be addressed... sad issues... but issues just the same.<P>If you need to <B>protect</B> yourself/children legally (and/or financially)... I usually make the recommendation of finding a <B>good</B> attorney. A good place to start off is at the <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search</A> site. Do a search within your county(or where the divorce is to be filed)... look for only "family law" specialists(>80% in divorce/custody/etc.)... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the better... You can normally find a few that will give initial counseling free of charge.<P>Cry...<BR>Vent...<BR>Yell...<BR>Scream...<P>and later... take care of your needs and your children's needs... it's important too!<P>You have my prayers tonight... <P>Jim

Thanks again Kathi, I appreciate you staying and replying. Go get some rest. I appreciate any prayers...<P>LisaM, <BR>yes, he came over 230am last night(lives an hour away. He was intimate. I asked him about this before. He said that he can remain intimate with me because he cares for me and that would never go away. But the love he needs to have for me as a wife, he does not have. He says its just not there. <P>Sweetpea,<BR>i didn't even mention anything about my one night stand to him. I actually told him that he knew how I felt and what I desired for this marriage. That I wasn't going to beat a dead horse, because he knows how I feel. So I would comply to whatever he wanted. He agreed that he knew what I wanted, and that it was no need for me to say anything. He just wants this to go as smoothly as possible. I know I'm going to be okay. I have to be strong for my little girl. It's just that I never really accepted the fact that this divorce may actually happen. Reality is starting to kick me in the face, the [censored] , you name it. ANd it hurts like hell. Sweetpea, you are too kind. thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow <P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Jaimie-lee, I don't know much about your situation, but I will say a prayer for you. I would just say to you, don't give up hope. My wife never did, even though I had used those words to her more than once. Her faith and determination has brought me back from hopelessness, and now I will never give up hope that we can make it. I know you are under extreme distress right now, but take your fears to God and he will protect you.

Jamie,<P>I'm so sorry for your pain. As the others said, it still isn't over. You have been doing a fabulous Plan A and I think that your H is trying to convince himself that you haven't changed.<P>Sometimes, betrayed spouses are so confused with what has happenned, that we can't think rationally either (I speak from my own experience). From the frustrations of the mess, we say one thing one day...and then say another thing, another day.<P>From reading your Posts and also chatting with you, I can tell that you have really grown from this experience. You have learned a lot and are a strong, loving & committed person.<P>Continue to stay in Plan A. Like I said, it still isn't over.<P>Regardless of the outcome, you will survive this.

Jim<P>thank you for the hugs. I needed them. I will take your advice and get an attorney. i'm so scared and I don't know why. I know that I'll be okay financially, but emotionally, I'm all torn up. I know this may seem crazy or obsessive, but I never saw the rest of my life without H. Everything that I visioned was with him at my side and I at his. Now look. I have faith yes, but what about reality? I'll try to Plan A , but I don't think I have anything else. I feel that the WALL has been put up. I don't want to get close anymore. I'm tired of setting myself up for disappointment after disappointment. i felt as if he was giving me mixed signals, but now he could not have been ever so blunt. He was trying to be kind and gentle, but there's just no way you can say ggodbye without it hurting!

Guard,<BR>I appreciate your prayers. I know God is here with me right now, but the pain seems to overwhelm his presence. I can't feel him. I wish I had family here. But no, no one. And why, because I dropped everything to be with him throughout his marine corps enlistment and now look. I'm left here in NC with my daughter all alone. Gosh, I'm starting to get mad now. <P>No Trust,<BR>Thank you. You always seem to pop up when I post. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate you and your continous encouragement. Your prayers are needed. Thanks Again.

Jamie-lee,<BR>I'm so sorry. I know how you are feeling, I was there a few weeks ago myself. I'm crying for you, and praying. I know it's hard, but please try to get some rest. You will feel better in the morning if you do. Like you, things were going very well, and then out of the blue.... blammo, he changed his mind. <P>I'm going to be on for a little longer, so I'll watch this thread. <P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>