I have read and read this report and I see so many things that she put in a certain way that cover for my stbx and that make things sound bad for me....but even still.....it doesn't sound that bad for her to make a ruling that the girls live with him. As it is 8 pages long, I can not print everything or you guys would fall asleep. I wished that I could because there seems to be so much wrong with it and it is so unprofessional. First of all this GAL is not a professional. She was a kindergarten teacher for 30 years and she has no counseling or therapy degree or experience in this field, she is simply a neighbor and friend of one of the judges in our county and the judge asked her if she would like to be a GAL. She has a part in the report that she calls Support. It is people like drs., teachers and counselors. She claims to have spoken to the girls doctor. Let me say that our 7 year old has been experiencing bathroom problems since my H walked out. She has dirty pants almost everyday and sometimes 2-3 times a day. I took her to the doctor to see if maybe she had a problem or if it might be stress related. The dr. said she thought that she was having problems because of the divorce but said that they would refer me to a urologist (specialist) at a childrens hospital in the area. They made the referal and my daughter saw him 2 times. They also refered me to a GI specialist. The GAL states...and I qoute....."The doctor did not know anything about tests taken at Riley that Nancy had told me about". Well I called the drs office today and recorded that conversation with the nurse. She shows every report sent to them by the two doctors and also told me the exact day that they made the referal and got the appointment for me. Now who is lying? Is the dr or the GAL? I would doubt that the doctor would lie because her file would show all documentation and reports. <P>That is just one thing out of about 30-40 things that I saw as out and out untruths. What should I do? <P>She also states that ....Mother is using the girls as her support system through this divorce and I think it is too much. I do not feel she is a victim. She needs to regroup with her life and go on.<P>Heck...I have so many friends and family that I talk to on a regular basis....and also all of you. I have never used those girls as a support system and I resent her making a statement as such. Does she have proof? Also what is getting on with your life? Everyone seems to say that, but is there only one answer? Is the only correct way to get on with your life, her way? Everyone gets on with their life differently...some get into a new relationship right away...some just take time to heal.....some drink away their sorrows.....some choose to keep going minus the spouse. Is there only one right way?<P>Sorry so long I warned you and this only a few questions.<P>Any help would be appreciated.<BR>Nancy

Nancy,<P>Do you have attorney? You need to get one cause that is the only way you are going to keep you r girls. He?she would know how to handle this. And would know what to do about this person who is making these decisions with no training. Pleas get one for your sake and the girls if you can't afford check with legal aide. Please! Thses doesn't seem like a responsible person to have this kind of power but you have to have legal help!!!<P><BR>{{{{HUGS}}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Grrrr....<P>Sounds like a load of cr@p to me! This makes me soooooo angry!!!!!!!!!!! Can you bring this document to your lawyer and have him go over it with you? I cannot say that I have ANY faith in the justice system, having been through the wringer several times here in Quebec... Heck, I have legal recordings and transcripts of my ex threatening to disembowel our son, then me then herself and she still has custody!!!!! But I haven't given up and neither should you. It just cannot be allowed to continue. <BR>Once you have talked to a lawyer, maybe seek out some kind of national organization for support and backing, maybe the media... althought I don't know about that one... These are steps I'm looking into right now. I'm incredibly frustrated myself with the legal system and the agencies that are supposed to be advocating the best interests of the child...<P>I know that this isn't a very supportive post, sorry... but at least you know that you aren't alone... <P>*?)*^# ^Y$#(*^$#)*&@ (*#(*&^$(*&@# (*&^^%%(*&(*&)(* but mostly confused and insanely frustrated!!!!!<P>Deut<P>OK, maybe the media thing isn't the best plan, I just think that public scrutiny is one of the best ways to keep idiot judges honest...<p>[This message has been edited by Soulloss' exH (edited February 11, 2000).]

Nancy...<P>I have to agree...<P>Get back to your attorney...<BR>If you have to do the leg work... <B>DO IT</B>!!!<P>Documentation is everything!<P>Nake sure when the GAL's report is submitted... make sure your attorney contests it's validity!!!<BR>If your attorney won't... fire your attorney!<P>I'm praying so hard for you... <BR>This is such a hellish struggle for you.<P>Jim

Thanks all of you....I'm am so frustrated. My attorney sent me this copy and the letter along with it stated to contact him at my earliest convience to go over this. I called him....he has not called back. Now here it is a week-end and gives me way too much time to go stir crazy. <P>This is one thing that freaks me out....She states..."Father is not an innocent bystander. He gets mad and flustered with the situation. I feel he probably does lose his temper with them. I feel some parenting skills and a "non violent" plan for discipline with time out consequences for screaming and crying. He does need to spend quality time with them".<P>WHAT!!!!!!! I told her that he is verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive and she claims farther on in the report that she doesn't believe me, but them types this!!!!! She must see that he is angry and loses his temper and is violent to have wrote this...but them claims that they need to live with him. I don't get it. I feel like suing her for trying to place those girls in such a violent atmosphere.<P>OOOps venting.....but I am mad as H#LL<BR>Nancy

MENTAL,<BR>You've got to dispute every single item. Do your homework this weekend and have all your documentation ready for your atty. Monday. Be assertive with your atty. Tell him/her that you want it taken care of immediately, and all items be disputed. You can win this Mental, but it will be hard, hard work. Your atty. works for you, so if you can't get through right away, keep calling every 15 minutes or so, be persistent. <P>Good luck to you, you're in my prayers. <BR>

(((((((((Nancy)))))))))<P><BR>e-mail me at:<P>sacred_rain@yahoo.com<P>cut and paste the whole 8 pages if you need to....<P>I was a legal secretary specializing in family law.....albeit in canada, but I can still see through the bullsh!t.....<P>also, your attorney should be able to question the appropriatenes of her being the GAL.....and oh so many other points....<P>as NSR stated...document everything..including details such as the day and time you spoke to the nurse about those reports, have your attorney get copies of everything....and prove her to be incompetant...or at least slanted to your husbands side....<P>Dylan<P>

I spent until 3 o'clock in the morning writing stuff......but the more I write...the more bitter and mad that I sound. She couldn't even get dates correct. Here she is...a court appointed person who is helping to decide the fate of the girls and basically my life too, and she can't even get the date the divorce was filed correct. I mean it was sitting right in front of her. This lady is close to 70 years old. She is very senile in my opinion. She twisted statements and just kept talking about how H in the last 9 months has taken the girls to the park once....to a Pacers basketball game and bought them a Barbie......big woopty sh*t. She says nothing about what they do with me.....where I take them....what I buy them, but then again she never asked. <P>Dylan,<BR>Thanks for the offer. I have no idea how I could get the whole eight pages to you. It would take me over 2 hours to peck it out. I am just so confused. I called and left a voice mail for my attorney to call me on Monday because we need to go over the report and that I would like to file something in the court about her being inaccurate and also about the out and out lies. This is obviously a one sided report and I, just a common "mentally ill" person can see it....but somehow I feel the judge won't. My H even claims in the report that he feels that I am mentally ill. Claims that I have been seeing drs for problems for years. NOT.....just started in Nov. 98 after discovery of his affair. Also the first question the GAL asked me on our one and only visit was "are you under phyciatric (sp?) care?" Nice first question huh?<BR>Nancy

Nancy, do you happen to have a friend with a scanner?...you could scan the 8 pages....or try the local library or some sort of public place that allows you to fax...they may have a scanner for public use...then you put it on disk.....<P>I think that by writing everything (even if it is getting you mad), you are indeed doing the best you can for right now....just tell your lawyer everything you are sharing here with us....this woman has no business being in the position she is in.....not to say that just because she is almost 70, but really, come on, she has no grasp of the situation, and sounds as if she is senile<P>I would recommend you and your lawyer put together a motion to have her removed as GAL...<P>Dylan

If you can get to a fax machine, fax it to me at 410-997-3051 and I will scan it and send it on to souless.

Go to zdnetonebox.com and create an email account. You will then receive your own fax number. Then follow the instructions to fax to yourself, and it will be a web-based fax.<P>You can forward the fax as an attachment to a recipient, and then they can view it on the web or download it for viewing through their imaging viewing program. I have Kodak Imaging.<P>When you forward it as an attachment, you will receive a link on the web, and then if you cut and paste the link we can view the document.<P>Kind of a round about way to get us to see it, but we are all interested in helping. <P>Be sure and copy the document, and white out names and addresses before you fax it to yourself. Privacy is very important, and we don't want you incremenating anyone in any way. We can understand and read without names.<P>TNT

Copy centers, Kinko, etc. fax and they usually also can do scanning.

SueB<BR>Thanks for fax number. I may just fax to you and you could get to Dylan. I need all the help I can get. This is so bogus. I hope I don't see the GAL somewhere, I might have to give her a tongue lashing. Just kidding....I promise I will wait until after all is settled. Maybe I could send her some wrinkle cream for Christmas this year. Or maybe just some cellophane tape to lift the face alittle....alot.<BR>Nancy