A large (1 lb) Hersheys Kiss. I removed the "Hersheys Kiss" paper inside & replaced with one I printed which says, "Chris's Kiss." My oldest said, "Oh Dad, how sweet!"<P>A Schweetheart the Orangutan Beanie Baby. Inside the tag is this poem;<P>"Of all the jungles filled with vines<BR>Traveling about, you came to mine<BR>Because of all the things you said<BR>I can't seem to get you outta my head!"<P>A card. On the front is a heart filled with X's & O's (hugs & kisses). Inside it says, "Sending you hugs & kisses & all my love." I underlined "all my love." I also wrote, "Donna,<BR>A "kiss" for my sweetie. <BR>Take care & God Bless.<BR>Love Chris"<P>Also sent a nice double picture frame with the kids school pictures.<P>Some times I feel like a whak-o for doing this. Well, we'll see in time if it has/had any effect. <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Chris,<P>Once again you amaze me ! When she does wake up (or the aliens return the real wife) she is going to be kicking herself in the butt for a very long time.<P>You keep going, I don't know many women who could resist the lo0ve you keep showing her for very long.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Chris,<P>I thught Dr Harley told you to do nothing....no contact???????<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Chris,<BR>How sweet! I don't know what's wrong with that woman!! I think the aliens definately have her. I hope you have a wonderful V-Day!<P>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Desiree,<P>Yeah, that is what he told me on the radio show. But the only thing he heard from me was, "she's been gone 10 months in an affair. Should I send her something for our Anniversary?" He doesn't know the whole story, so until I talk to Steve again, I'll carry on as I have been.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Don't want to be mean but....I don't think you should have sent anything.<P>Again...hope I didn't offend you.<P>Happy Valentine's Day.

No offense at all.<P>Plan A, Plan A, Plan A. She's my Wife. Why shouldn't I send her something?<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Hi Chris,<P>I think Plan A is great...but it seems more like your W has forced you to be in Plan B. It sounds like you don't ever hear from her..so it seems more like no contact.<P>If there is barely any contact, is it possible to be in Plan A?<P>I was thinking about Jon & Sue in the SAA book. It seems your situation is somewhat similar to theirs, but wasn't Sue at least in regular contact with their kids....and she was vacillating back & forth between OM & H? In addition, she didn't live in another state, far from her family.<P>You are indeed such a strong person. From the time I have been on MB, I have seen it. I feel very bad about your situation.<P>I want very much for you & your W to get back together. I can tell that you are a good man & father. I hope that your W wakes up soon.<P>Anyway, those are my thoughts. Thank you for not taking any offense.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited February 14, 2000).]

OOps.....double post!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited February 14, 2000).]

Chris,<BR>You done good!!!<P>I left her gift in her car last night. I got a card that I thought would not offend her yet still let her know how much I really care. She got a teddy bear holding a teddy bear. Both bears were pink.<P>I sent her a page stating that I was a fool but I was the fool who would marry her all over again. She sounded indifferent when I called when I found that she did not have an apponitment at 1:00. I think she is thinking about him again. She has given him her new pager number which she changed here recently. She lied to me last night about talking to him on Thursday of last week. I know because I checked her pager the next morning to see who paged her because the last call in the caller id was me which was several hours before. She talked to him about 30 minutes.<P>I told her I plan on working on us until I die or she leaves (didn't say the last part.) I owe her and our boys to give it the best possible shot. I do it because I love God, her, and our boys. In loving them, I love me the most. I only wish that she will understand that concept soon. This really hurts.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

I don't know what your wife thinks, Chris. But I know I think that was sweet.<P>Hey, guess what... I got my first email from my husband last week - it was about how we need to keep trying to get our passion back, and to stay committed.....<P>And, I got flowers today. White roses. I had white roses in my bridal bouquet. He hasn't bought me flowers but once since I knew him. <P>I asked him if he remembered that my flowers in our wedding were white roses. He had the chance to lie to impress me, and he didn't. He could have said yes, he remembered. He instead, said no, he hadn't remembered, but that he hoped I liked white roses. He is really learning to be honest.<P>Chris, I had almost given up hope in December that he would ever be the man he once was. There was no indication whatsoever that he would. But he is beginning to show that now.<P>So, hang in there. There is nothing in this physical world that indicates that Donna cares. But, I'm sure she does, and I'm sure that the little things you do mean something. I'm sure that she is just so guilt ridden, and such a conflict avoider, and has buried so much guilt for so many years, that she doesn't know how to surface the love again. I'm sure the affair compounds her already deep problems. <P>Keep up your love, Chris. And your faith. <P>God Bless,<BR>TNT

I'm in full recovery. I thought my H had never been happier in our marriage.<P>No card. No flower. Not even a scibbled message on a flippin' post it note.<P>An ambiguous promise of dinner..sometime. Then how about a pizza and a video after his nap?..haven't seen him since. He does have a sleep disorder.<P>I am treasuring my handmade cards from my three girls. I made them cards with corney individualized poems. We had fun.<P>My oldest 14, kept asking her dad where was Mom's card and gift...she actually thought he was just holding off some grand surprise. I finally asked her to not embarass her dad...although he didn't appear to be embarassed.<P>I couldn't find just the right card at the store, so I handmade his card, too. My message:<P>You know I dislike when anyone uses "always" or "never"....well today I will make an exception. I will ALWAYS love you and I will NEVER take our life, our love or our marriage for granted.<P>OK...one part of me is giving me a talking to, telling me this is a commerical holiday, and these tokens mean nothing. To a clueless guy, this is not a report card on his feelings. I am telling myself not to misinterpret this event. Look on the bright side, last year when he was still in phone contact with OW, he gave me two whole roses, a Walmart candle AND a card ..he must have a lot LESS to feel guilty about this Valentine's Day. I should be happy that he does take our marriage for granted again. After all, that shows how comfortable he feels.<P>The other half of me wonders what a loser wife I must be, not to rank even a percentage of what Chris's wife got...given the situation.<P>I guess I'm throwing a pity party for myself.<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

NoTrust,<P>I guess it is a sort of forced Plan B from her. She has only talked to me once since Nov. That was two weeks ago for about one minutes about the taxes.<P>As Steve Harley told me (& others) if you are married, then you need to act married. I wish my Wife no harm either physical or emotional such as pissing her off. Talked to a new guy in my men's group today. He is wondering why I neither of us have filed for divorce. I can only guess about her, but I don't want one. Also, he was amazed I haven't been dating. I told him, "I'm married, I can't date!"<P>As far as John & Sue, perhaps she was so wishy washy because she did see the kids on occasion. The pull of the kids/marrriage & the pull of the om. In my case since there is almost no contact, then she has him totally to depend on. Perhaps when she cracks, it'll be much easier (oh, don't I pray) for her to get over him.<P>As for us getting back together, I can only praise the Lord for what He is going to do in my life!<P>Rob, Hang on to what you believe!<P>tnt, my old friend. Gosh, we've been on this board for waaaayyyyy too long, haven't we? It feels good (okay good & bad. <B>WHEN IS IT MY TURN?!?!?</B>) to hear that at least someone is at least progressing in a positive way.<P>Ya' know, I don't know how I'm feeling about all this. It seems like an out of body experience. I'm just looking down and feeling nothing with no control over anything.<P>Anyway, for the girls I got them a dozen white roses, some Hersheys Kisses, a large Schweetheart Beanie Buddy and a card.<P>Life goes on...<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

FHL, we were posting at the same time. Yeah, we all have a good pity party for ourselves from time to time. Don't know what to say about your h. Hrumph?<P>Oh yeah. Looks like my Wife is in Milwaukee now. I'm gettin' dizzy with all the runnin' around she's doing. She sent a V-Day card to the girls & $20. Such a nice & caring Mom she is, eh?<P><P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Well I'm better this morning. I think my H is clueless and insensitive, but had no ill intent. He found me blubbering here and told me he was sorry and held me for a long time. Still hurts. If I lower my expectations, I'll have to dig a trench.<P>I am always amazed at your wife. Even if she could leave you (which I think is nutty to begin with...she couldn't do better) how can she not be involved with her girls?<P>I can not even imagine how it would be to leave mine. How well your girls are doing really shows what a great dad you are...and how you must have been their emotional stability all along.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Chris,<P>Milwaukee is pretty darn close to me---would you like to order a "kneecapping" for the OM??<P>

K aka Tonya Harding?