Anybody else feel like OP is better than you? my W's OM is young (late 30s), attractive, a body builder, has a great personality, wealthy and retired. My kids love him. Heck, if he wasn't the OM I would like him too.<P>As for me, my kids love me. That may be the only thing which saves my marriage and I don't know if that's enough. This is why Plan B really scares me.

NO WAY!!! —I say this with all sincerity & no pain or envy—; W's OP is:<P>1. Needy<BR>2. A 40-yr. old adolescent<BR>3. Bad looking<BR>4. Selfish<BR>5. Corny (although OP thinks her stuff is romantic)<BR>6. Pushy<BR>7. Some etceteras that I rather not mention<P>W says OP is great in bed (ouch!!!), but that's something you learn with practice (I am not practicing right now) & technique (something that can be learned).<P>ALEX<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>

OH yes indeedie do I feel other person is better than me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>She's younger, not by much.<BR>She's got bigger breasts, by much.<BR>She's got a great paying job.<BR>She's intelligent.<P>Need I go on, <BR>she seems to be everything I'm not and she gives him what he wants,<BR>I know it's my lack of self-esteem talking but what do you expect when your rejected by the person you love? <P>------------------<BR>Peg

Hi Hopeful,<P> Oh yeah....sounds like the OP is MUCH better than you....NOT...He's having an affair with a married woman.....he sounds trustworthy , honorable,unselfish(wish I could convey sarcasm here).......LU

hopefull_1,<BR> Doesn't matter if he looks like Ricky Martin.....he has no integrity.You'll always be the better person,don't forget that.<BR> --Murph

Don't forget that your spouse has temporary(?) insanity and of course the op is "better" than you. Why wouldn't they leave us for someone better.<P>Remember when we met our spouses we were the best things since sliced bread. <P>This too will pass. It is a temporary feeling that op is better.<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

HELL NO !!!!<BR>I would never take someone else's husband, ever !!! So noooooooo waaaaaaayyyyyy can she be better than me, besides who is my husband with now ????? HER I think NOT !!!!!!!! ME oh yeeeesss, hope she learnt her lesson.<P> <P>Good always prevails over evil !!!<BR>Jenny<P>------------------<BR>Where have all the cowboys gone ?<BR>Paula Cole<P><BR>

What you are feeling is normal. But OM is on his best behavior. He sounds OK by your description but he is a homewrecker, a wife stealer and to be retired at his age? He will get bored of your W in no time, he is a LOSER.

Let's see...low morals, no morals, low character, party babe, more lovers in the last year than I've had in my life, she can't even be faithful to my H...nope she's not better.

Young and attractive...nothing to do with worth.<P>Body Builder...may be interested in fitness and good health...or he may be self centered and adores his own body. He also may value great beauty over anything else in women.<P>Great personality...meaning a suave sophisticated smooth talker? That's social technique...not his true colors. How is his moral character? I rest my case.<P>Wealthy and retired. May be he worked hard and deserves every penny he has. But if he has unlimited play time, and low morals, he isn't going to be interested in your wife a lifetime. There will always be someone prettier, someone younger and unless she dumped the kids...they would get in his way.<P>Of course you can't point this out to your wife, she doesn't see it this way...but if she leaves you for him, she is will get dumped by him or cheated on by him. <P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

I think every betrayed person probably has feelings of inferiority at some point in the discovery process. In my case, the OW is 11 years younger, much thinner (almost anorexic), and much more impressed with my husband than I am. She is also much tackier, more jealous, and completely disloyal.<P>Keep in mind that the betraying spouse is only seeing the things about the OP that the OP wants them to see. There are no financial, household, or children's problems to contend with. Sure, the OP looks good now, but what about when real life sets in. Who can really be counted on when your spouse needs someone, a loyal partner or a lying cheat?<P>The important things about a person are what is in their heart and soul. Everything else is just fluff anyway.<P>Peppermint

NO WAY is the OP better than me!<P>OW is needy, low self-esteem, unattractive, uneducated, unintelligent, red-neck inbred trash, worn-out looking, built like a man, psycho...etc. etc. etc.<P>My H even says that she has NOTHING over me and that I am the better person in every way.<P>He was drinking daily when he was involved with her. The only thing that she had over me, is that she "enabled" my H's drinking, while I did not.<P>Thank the lord that my H is doing his best to work on his addiction and that we are in recovery.

<B>Lu</B><BR>Sarcasm ----> <P>You're right. In fact, all of you are right. I'm here at work reading your replies with tears in my eyes. Thanks for reminding me that integrity is important, and faithfulness is important, and determination and persistance and dedication to family are important and love is not an emotion it is a *decision*. MY WIFE KNOWS THIS.<P>

He is better.... in every catagory....

Despite opinions from those who 'know' both me and OP, I am better. Sorry, don't feel better. H talks about how he has everything so much better now that he is happily with OW. more attractive, smarter, and better to him than me - are his words. <P>Sometimes I think a homewrecker couldn't be better than me - but she has the man I love, so what is it?<P>Try to keep your head up anyway. My opinion for the moment is that NO ONE could be better than the person who stands up and fights for what they believe in, including their marriage vows.