LeeS:<P>I was on the receiving end of a situation very similar to yours: my wife had an affair, and after it was discovered she continued it for several months. And she ended up becoming pregnant.<P>Your affair is a fantasy. My wife would have said the same thing about "always loving the OM" two months prior to the affair being over. Now she hates him. Affairs aren't based on real relationships in the real world, and reality is about to come crashing down on yours.<P>I would suggest that you get into counseling here at MarriageBuilders, with one of the Harley's (Steve or Jennifer). You should be completely upfront with your husband on your pregnancy. You should decide together whether or not you want to work on the marriage (using the POJA). If neither marriage currently has children, a reasonable alternative would be divorce for both couples. But if either marriage has children, or either couple really wants to make the effort, than you can be successful.<P>If your husband and you both decide that you wanted to make this work, your best chance would be to completely separate from this OM. Move far away. Get a new job. Cut off all contact. If possible, I would tell him that you don't want him involved in the baby's life---it's legally your husband's child in most states, until the OM sues you for paternity rights. If he does, fight him as a team.<P>You can make this work. You probably have a better chance at making your current marriage work than you would have marrying this OM. My wife and I have been very successful in recovering our marriage and building it to something much better than it was---and I have a beautiful little boy as a gift from God. This isn't easy, and it will take lots of work and pain---but you don't have any easy paths at this point. If you do decide to give the marriage a shot, I'd highly recommend the counseling here (888-639-1639): I counseled with Steve Harley for over a year while this was occurring, and he was a huge part in our success.<P>Good luck and God bless.
