hello....welcome....someone will be along with the formal welcome....trust me.<P>when you need help, do you ask him for help?...<P>I've started interupting my H's online games when I specifically need his help, and we also had a discussion about how much time he is gaming, and agreed that for one week, I would keep a log of exactly how much time he spends online, gaming.<P>this helps in 2 ways...you can document and then show him that you are concerned with it if it is truly an inordinate amount of time, and interferes with real life, or. it can show you that the time spent is not really as much as you thought, and you can still compromise....certain days, he can cut his time in half, and help you out...<P>thank goodness it's chess and not porn, or shoot 'em up and kill 'em for 5 hours...<P>on a personal note, I remember when Deut (my H, who also posts here) would wake up at 8am-ish, get a coffe, sit down, light a cigarette, turn on 'the game', play for 30-45 minutes, then go to work, come home at1 in the afternoon, sit down, grab a coffee, and play for maybe, oh, 3 hours, virtually ignoring me and the children...then go to the next job (he is a handyman, and many of these days were spent working at OW's), come home later at maybe 10 pm and eat, sit down, and play game until 2 or 3 am...<P>truly though, this new plan has helped us.....I keep a log, H sees how much time is really on the computer, and he has scaled down his time, and more is getting done around the house...<P>nothing to lose....<P>Dylan<p>[This message has been edited by soulloss (edited March 04, 2000).]