Background for the newbies. Discoover was almost a year ago will be on the 17th of this month. H left on 7/30 he had no contact until Nov. when he called parents since then he has contacted his daughter and son. <P> He called me on 1/17 about real estate agent for our house. He has called me every week since always to talk about house. Everytime he calls I have ended the conversation with I love you. Half of those times he has answered with I love you too.<BR> <BR>He saw his grandchildren for the first time since July two weeks ago. He came to the oldest's birthday party. He didn't talk to me except to hand me the real estate agent's card. He has "chatted" with daughter by internet last week. <P>I have moved from daughter's house to my parents' empty house. I informed him by letter. Sunday he tried to call me but I was online ( have only one phone line) he called his parents asking them where I was as he couldn't get me. He was calling while the OW was taking her kids back to their dad's. He tried to call me on my cell phone Monday night but I didn't hear it. It came up as a call missed. He was calling from work. Today he called me on my cell from a pay phone. He wanted my address which I gave to him he told me he wanted to write me a letter. I asked why he said he just wanted to . He wanted to tell me what he was doing and about the house. I told him I had email he asked for the address and gave me his. He then told me about his instant message where you can actually talk with a mircophone. <P>I don't know what to think. He is not a writer, he doesn't like to write letters. This doesn't make sense. <P>He had a bad weekend with the ow and her kids. From what his mother tells me, he is not getting along with the kids they are spoiled brats and he doesn't like the way they want things and the OW buys what ever they want and gives into all things with them. <P>I don't know what to think. He didn't need to talk to me to find out my address, he could have asked D or MIL for my address. I am afraid to think anything right now. He is driving me nuts, of course I don't have far to go. Help I am still shaking from talking to him. I don't want to get my hopes up. Everytime I find a comfortable space he does something like this to me. Help!!!!!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Di,<P>I am so sorry your husband is putting you through this right now. I don't know what it means when they start doing these things. I know my husband showed up at the house this morning wanting help filling out child support papers. We ended up spending two hours together and darn it, it was the nicest two hours we have had together in a long time. Anyway, I don't know what to make of it. It sounds to me like he does want to have contact with you. Of course I am not the best at guessing on these situations! Just hang in there and try and stay sane! Just keep thinking of your own needs! Take care of yourself! I feel for you! It hurts and sucks and all of that! <P>~Woozy

Hey Di,<P>Maybe, just maybe the season for change is happening here. Winter's almost gone. The snow is melting. Weather getting nicer and warmer. Reality just around the corner? Let's hope!! <P>I got a nice sincere "I still love you" from Val this AM. Really early this AM but it was worth the lost sleep and more.<P>Holy underwear, Batman!<P>Tim

Wow,<BR>It seems he can't stop wanting to talk to you. I always seem to be so optimistic for everyone else...sounds kind of good. Now for the other side. Would he be the type (like my stbx) that pretends to be nice to get you to go along with one of his "plans"? I am not trying to burst bubble or trying to be the bad guy. Please do not take any offense from this question....but just asking. I just know that my stbx would be real nice and then....bam...I would fall hook, line and sinker. He knew what buttons to push. But you know your H better than anyone else. And if sounds good to you in your heart...then think good thoughts, this could be the sign you have been waiting for.<P>Good Luck<BR>Nancy

Woozy, Thanks. I am trying to take care of myself but he keeps popping in. Just as I think I am handling things quite well there he is to drive me nuts. I don't know what he wants guess I will have to wait till he writes the letter if he does.<P>Medic, Read your post. Sounds great. H has said it to me only as a response, 2would love to hear said first. Things are looking good for you. I hope spring is in the air. I am ready for a thaw and a new beginning and a lot of reality. Thanks!<P>Mental, A year and half ago I would say he wouldn't do anything like that of course I also said he would never have an affair in a million billion years. I think when something like this happens we no longer know the person we are married too. I don't take offense at your statement. You really haven't said anything that I haven't already told myself. That is the problem I don't know him anymore. He is not the same person I married, so who knows. I want to think good thoughts that this is the start of the beginning, but I am afraid to get my hopes up. <P>I really don't know how much more of these ups and downs. It is like the yoyo because we have some one jerk our string. Our spouse has control of that string and they are the ones who jerk us up or let us go and spin us around. <P>I guess all I can do is wait. Which you would think I would be very good at doing by now. I try to keep busy and right now with the move I am, plus I have a computer class to go to the next two Sat. <P>I am tired of trying to second guess him, but I do know that something is different because of the calls. He has kept away from me for so long. He gave me his e mail address wonder if she has his password. He knows what I will say to him. That doesn't make sense unless that is what he want to hear. AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH Why am I doing this to myself trying to figure out what he is doing when I am sure he doesn't even know. <P>Thanks guys for your support. It is storming here and I am tired didn't get much sleep last night nothing bad just woke up coughing and couldn't get back to sleep. Of course I was trying to figure out why he was trying to contact me. Now I know but I still don't understand. Anyway I am going to get some sleep. Thanks again. I let you know what the letter say of course.<P><P>------------------<BR>di<P>

di,<P>I just had to reply...<P>It's been such a long time for me to do so...<P>I'm not sure how to take your H's new found desire to talk...<BR>...but do take it cautiously.<P>If anything "big" happens... take it slowly... come to the forum and ask away...<P>I have to agree with Nancy on this...<BR>...don't get your hopes up too high...<BR>...just pray they will be met sometime down the road.<P>Love to you... <P>Jim

Hi, Jim are your doing better? I hope so have been worried about you.<P>I am doing a very good job of not getting my hopes up in fact I am going the other way. I am afraid that what he wants to tell me is that he is filing for divorce. I can't read him anymore and he has done so many thing that hurt me while he is trying not to hurt me. Does that make sense?? I can see his thoughts that being nice to me on the phone was a way not to hurt me. He wouldn't realize that he could even be getting my hopes up, he was just being nice by not telling me on the phone. Of course he would be protecting himself too. He wouldn't have to hear my response! So the letter scares the H@(( out of me. I havn't received yet of course but if it was already written he could have mailed it yesterday and i could get it tomorrow. So see there is no hope only dread!! Thanks for your support. <P>I have really missed you. <BR>I am going to take the fact that you responded as a sign that you are doing better <BR><P>------------------<BR>di<P>

To not keep you in the dark...<BR>Yes... I'm doing a little better...<P>Eyesight about 80% back...<BR>Sugar still way too high 417/312/251/240 for the last for days... (the ideal should be under 120!)<P>They're taking out the "staples" tomorrow...<BR>please no more "staple" jokes...<P>I'm trying to catch up on the forums...<BR>...it's not easy with so many people coming...<P>I pray for you Di... <P>You have had so much go wrong...<P>A candle for you too! <P>Jim

Hi Di,<P>I can't believe us !!!<P>We seem to be in exactly the same boat, at exactly the same time, yet again.<P>I've just posted a new topic "He's said he made a mistake.."<P>I agree with the others, and with what you've said. Unfortunately, who knows????<P>I guess you'll have to wait for postman pat, tell yourself it's going to be bad news, and then be pleasantly surprised. I always try to ask myself what the worst could possibly be, have a plan to deal with that, and then deal with whatever 'it' turns out to be...<BR>Does any of that make sense?<P>Isn't it just so amazing that the minute we seem to have a bit of peace and quiet in these buzzing minds of ours, along they come and mess it up. My H is doing exactly the same thing.<P>Anyway, I've missed you. I've been off the computer for a few days. I'm trying to focus on my children, as I feel that I haven't been a very good mummy lately. I've been distracted, impatient, cross ALL the time (as 4 yo so kindly told me !!!), and generally a grumpy old bear. I've well and truely had those 'cranky pants' on !!!!!!!!!<P>I'm glad you've moved, did it go well? I thought of you, and wondered how you were going. Have you got the same email address?<P>Take care of you<BR>love and hugs<BR>Jo

Jim,<BR>It looks like your sugar is slowly making its way down. Do they think that as the sugar goes down your eyesight will improve? I hope so. <P>Thanks for the prayers and the candle. Say them for you too.<P>Jo,<P>Glad to hear from you have missed you. My email is the same. <P>Guess that is what I am doing preparing for the worse. H asking for a divorce. THis waiting is getting to me. But I keep busy. How can I not be busy I still have a trillion boxes to unpack and another resume to write. yuck. Well, if I don't get off nothing will get done hope to talk to you later. I will read your post and try to respond later. Take care and we can get through this. Hugs<P>------------------<BR>di<P>